Sweet Dreams
by hifield
Summary: Relationships can be complicated in the Pegasus galaxy. One wrong decision can change a life forever. Is there room for second chances in the City of the Ancients? Sheppard/Keller pre-ship and all the usual characters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. _

**_A/N_**_: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

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Chapter 1

It was 3:00 in the morning, when most people should be sound asleep. Well … on Earth maybe. But on Atlantis, there were a lot of people who spent those early hours of the morning chasing away nightmares and Jennifer was part of that distinct group. Dr. Keller could remember a time in her life when a herd of stallions racing through her bedroom wouldn't have woken her but these past years in the Pegasus galaxy had changed all that. Nightmares were becoming a part of her nightly routine and tonight was no exception.

Usually the dreams came only when she was exhausted, which was pretty funny considering she was usually in a perpetual state of exhaustion. Even on vacation it usually took a good week for her to relax enough to sleep well at night. Yet Jennifer had decided that living on Atlantis was worth the few nights a week she'd spend chasing away the bad guys in the middle of the night. She loved this life she was living, the people, the work, even this crazy world so far away from Earth and it was worth a few sleepless nights. Atlantis was home and the nightmares were just an uncontrolled part of the whole package.

Sometimes it was hard to remember all the good qualities surrounding her when she woke up screaming, sweating and gasping for breath … like now. The dream was really vivid tonight and she couldn't stop shaking. She was looking into the eyes of her Wraith attacker as he drew his hand back preparing to attach himself to her chest. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, looking into his eyes there was nothing there. As the hand began its downward thrust toward her body, she awoke … again. This was not the first time she'd dreamt of the same Wraith warrior sucking the life out of her body. At least tonight she woke before he started his feeding.

Jennifer threw herself out of bed and began pacing the room. She was too tired to go for a run but didn't think she could stay in her room. She needed a relaxing escape. Putting on her running clothes to look presentable, she headed toward the mess hall. At least it would be well lit and there was usually a cook or two in the back working on breakfast or putting out food for returning teams.

Jennifer mixed herself a cup of cocoa and found a table off in the corner next to the tall glass windows. She turned her chair around so she faced the windows watching the city lights as she sipped on her drink. Scooting her chair closer to the window ledge, she propped her feet up finding more comfort.

"Hey Doc," Colonel Sheppard greeted as he approached. "Want some company?" he asked as he grabbed a chair and placed it next to her.

"Sure, what brings you here this time of night?" Jennifer asked smiling as she watched him prop his feet on the sill. They both knew the kitchen staff didn't like this practice but late at night they were a little more lenient or maybe it was a matter of whose feet they were. Even the kitchen staff had their favorites.

"Need a little pick me up," Sheppard answered holding up his coffee cup. "I've been catching up on the dreaded paperwork. I get more done when everyone's asleep."

"What about you?" Sheppard asked in turn.

"Needed a well lit place to settle my nerves… nightmares," Jennifer explained holding up her free hand to show the slight tremors that remained.

"Ah, yes … I come here for that a lot myself. So, what has you tonight? Chased by weird creatures, Wraith attack, kidnapping or could it possibly be clowns?" Sheppard asked as he raised one eyebrow.

"Clowns?" Jennifer smirked.

"Yes, clowns can be very scary and a personal favorite of my own." Sheppard responded pretending to be offended.

"Sorry Colonel, I'm sure in certain situations clowns can indeed be very scary," Jennifer joked trying to keep from laughing. "Tonight it was a Wraith feeding and I was on the menu," Jennifer added frowning.

"Wish I could say you won't have another one like that but I'm sure you will," Sheppard said nodding as he thought of the intensity that a Wraith feeding had on nightmares having experienced and dreamt such a thing a few times himself.

"I usually go for a run when this happens but just didn't have the energy tonight. It's hard for me to stay in my room after a bad dream but there aren't too many places on base one can escape to at this time of night," Jennifer confided.

"I've always found the mess hall to be comforting until around 0430 hours when they start baking the bread and biscuits for breakfast. Hard to go back to sleep when your stomach's rumbling," Sheppard said with a grin.

"I love that smell. It always reminds me of a bakery I walked past every day on my way to work when I was doing my residency. I'm surprised I didn't gain 50 lbs during those years." Jennifer shared.

"Good times?" John asked.

"Not really," she smiled tightly, "but I loved the smell of that bakery."

John wondered why her residency had been so bad and logged it away in his mind to revisit if the situation ever presented itself. Turning he saw SGA-6 coming into the mess hall having returned from their mission.

"I guess I best see how their mission went," Sheppard said as he rose and put his chair back. "Have a more peaceful morning, Doc, and feel free to stay as long as you need."

"I thought you had a no loitering rule for the mess hall at night?" Jennifer asked.

"That's mostly for over zealous new recruits who want to impress unsuspecting doctors," Sheppard explained smiling. "I'll add you to our 'exceptions' list. Make yourself at home, Doc – no one will bother you in here."

Sheppard wandered over to check in with Sergeant Rogers and his team. He enjoyed his conversation with Dr. Keller and hoped he'd have an occasion to visit with her again sometime. On his way out of the mess hall he ran into the security team making their nightly rounds and told them to put Dr. Keller on the exceptions list for the mess hall. He also instructed them to keep a protective eye out for her so she wouldn't be bothered in the future. She was right, he thought, there weren't many places you could relax late at night in Atlantis.

Jennifer finished up her second cup of cocoa and stood to leave. Her time with the Colonel was very relaxing and hopefully sleep would come easily when she got back to her room. She knew next time she couldn't sleep she'd probably come back to the mess hall, her new haven from the boogieman.

* * *

The Daedalus had just beamed in her last batch of new recruits, as Colonel Sheppard was finishing up his standard 'Welcome to Atlantis' speech with the previous group. Major Lorne was by his side writing down any possible 'problems' worth noting on his small pad of paper. It seemed like lately there ended up being at least one hot head or over confident alpha male in every group.

Sheppard had found that dealing with any problem personnel worked best if handled in the first few days of their arrival. Thankfully most of these cases cleared themselves up before any action needed to be taken.

Colonel Carter was next on the agenda with yet another speech. The welcome committee was thankful the turnaround for the Daedalus was at least 6-8 weeks or the speeches would get really old, really fast. Carter and Sheppard tried to stagger the groups so things wouldn't back up in the infirmary. As they finished up with the last group, Colonel Sheppard sent them off to the mess hall to get a hot meal. Before sitting down for his own meal Sheppard decided to check in with Dr. Keller and see how quickly the recruits were moving through their physicals.

* * *

Dr. Keller rubbed her eyes sighing to herself as she grabbed a new chart. This had been a long day and her feet were killing her. Most of her patients had been new scientists and a few of the support staff. She tried to stay away from the military recruits as much as possible. They always tried to hit on her and she never knew how to respond without sounding stupid.

"Sergeant Clark," Jennifer called out ready to examine the next recruit.

"Here," Clark grumbled as he walked over to join Jennifer at the open bed.

"Sergeant, I need you to take your shirt off and sit up on the bed. I'll try to get you out of here as quickly as possible," Jennifer said for what felt like the hundredth time today.

"Can I have a real doctor finish my exam?" Clark asked frowning.

Dr. Keller stopped what she was doing and moved to stand directly in front of the Sergeant. "Excuse me, what did you say?" she asked amazed at his insolence.

"I asked for a real doctor. If that's a problem I'd like to talk to the CMO," Clark demanded. He had no intention of letting this young woman give him any kind of exam. She didn't look old enough to be out on her own let alone in a different galaxy. He wasn't about to let this nurse take over because they were backed up. Sergeant Clark felt he wasn't being shown the respect his rank deserved.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jennifer said sarcastically. She was exhausted and just wanted to sit and put her feet up. Maybe even indulge in a hot meal for once this week.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Sergeant Clark scowled as he raised his voice.

"Sergeant is it all women you don't feel comfortable around or is it just me?" Jennifer asked having lost all patience with the man.

Ronon walked into the infirmary hunting for Sheppard. Looking around he noticed the Doc in a heated discussion with one of the new Marines and wandered that way.

"Hey Doc, everything okay?" Ronon asked seeing she was upset with the man.

Sergeant Clark was used to bullying everyone around and getting his way. He demanded respect never feeling the need to earn it from any of his peers. Most people just stayed out of his way not wanting the aggravation. It'd been a long three weeks for the Sergeant, he just wanted to be done and get some sleep.

"This is a private conversation," Clark warned, frowning at Ronon. "And no, I like women it's just little girls I have trouble with," Clark said as he scowled at Jennifer.

"Is he talking about you?" Ronon asked as he growled at the recruit.

"'Fraid so, he wants a _real_ doctor," Jennifer explained with a heavy sigh.

"I'm getting tired of your sarcasm," Clark snarled. "I'm tired and would like to get this over with, I have more important things to do than sit here and argue with you and your Neanderthal friend."

Jennifer could hear the low growl emanating from Ronon's chest and immediately grabbed his arm. "Please Ronon, don't do anything, I'm okay and he's not worth it," Jennifer said trying to reason with her friend as he stepped closer to Clark.

"You need to shut-up," Ronon demanded trying to hold his temper in check.

"And you're going to make me?" Sergeant Clark laughed.

Colonel Sheppard walked in on the melee catching the last few comments thrown back and forth between the three. He quickly moved to stand between Clark and the certain beating he was about to receive.

"Whoa … everybody take a break. Ronon, stand down," Sheppard barked as he silently demanded him to back up.

Sergeant Clark immediately stood up and saluted his commanding officer. "At ease, Sergeant. I'd appreciate you sitting back down," the Colonel instructed wanting him in a more defensive position.

"Doc, what's going on?" Sheppard asked looking to the young doctor.

"It would seem that Sergeant Clark is not fond of young girls who like to play doctor and would like to speak to the CMO. I'm sorry, Colonel, but I've been at this for nearly 15 hours and my patience left hours ago. So, in this case, I believe I will leave him with you … he's all yours," Jennifer finished waving her hand toward Clark.

"If you all will excuse me, I'll go find a doctor with cold hands to finish up the Sergeant's physical," Jennifer said looking at Sheppard.

"Is this your last patient, Doc?" Sheppard asked.

"Yes," Jennifer sighed.

"Ronon, why don't you take Doc to the mess hall and be sure she gets something to eat," Sheppard instructed making sure Jennifer knew it was more of an order than a suggestion. "I'm sure she hasn't had time to eat anything today."

"Thank you Colonel," Jennifer replied quietly. "Sergeant Clark, I'm sure I'll see you in the infirmary later this week," Jennifer said nodding toward the man as she walked across the room.

Sergeant Clark frowned as he watched the young woman walk away not sure exactly what she meant by her comment. Looking back to Colonel Sheppard and Ronon he became even more confused when he saw the grin on Ronon's face as he turned to follow Jennifer.

"Sergeant, in as few words as possible, what is the problem?" Sheppard sighed running his hand through his hair.

"Colonel, I just requested an actual doctor perform my physical," Clark explained believing Sheppard would understand.

"You what!" Sheppard growled. "Tell me you didn't say that to her," Sheppard said incredulously.

"Yes sir. If I may speak freely, sir, I believe the military should get the same respect the civilian population receives even here in the infirmary.

"That woman has more respect for the military than the military does. And for the record Sergeant, that was your CMO and chief surgeon you were talking so disrespectfully to. She'll be the one to patch up your sorry ass when the enemy gets in a lucky shot," Sheppard ranted hoping Clark wasn't going to be a problem.

"Ah … yes sir … sorry sir," Clark stuttered finding this information unbelievable. "Sir, with your permission I'd like to find the doctor and apologize," Clark was beyond frustrated with his blunder. It had been a long three weeks, he thought to himself.

"I'm sure there'll be time for that later, Sergeant. Get your physical finished and then I suggest you get something to eat before you get some sleep … we start training tomorrow and you'll need to be at your best."

Clark kept his mouth shut for the rest of the exam. He kept kicking himself for the first impression he'd made with his commanding officer. For that matter, the impression he left with the doctor wasn't that good either. It was time to do a little groveling he thought to himself as he left the infirmary. He wanted this assignment more than anything and didn't want to jeopardize it especially with the Daedalus still docked on the east pier.

* * *

Ronon walked Jennifer to the mess hall in relative silence. The two had a good friendship that didn't require a lot of useless banter. Jennifer found this soothing especially after a day like today.

"Thanks Ronon, I think I'll step out on the balcony for a few minutes and get some fresh air," Jennifer said squeezing his arm.

"I'll get a tray for you and save you a place at the table," Ronon answered. He enjoyed Jennifer and considered her part of his new family. He always kept a closer eye on her and Teyla.

"Where's the Doc?" Sheppard asked as he put his tray down on the table beside Rodney.

"Getting some air," Ronon answered pointing to the balcony.

"I expect my food to still be here when I get back," Sheppard said looking sternly at Ronon and Rodney before walking out to the balcony.

"Hey, are you okay?" Sheppard asked as he leaned on the railing next to Jennifer.

"Yeah, just releasing the stress from a very long day," Jennifer answered. "Sorry about the situation, I didn't try very hard to diffuse it. I didn't get much sleep last night and I let the guy get to me," Jennifer said apologizing for the confrontation.

"Hey, you kept Ronon from taking his head off so I think you did an amazing job," Sheppard said proud of the young doctor for holding her own.

"I hate recruit day," Jennifer announced.

"You're preaching to the choir," Sheppard agreed. "If it helps any, the Sergeant wanted to come apologize to you but I told him he'd have plenty of time later this week… training sessions start tomorrow," Sheppard explained bringing a smile to Jennifer's face.

"Come on, we need to get in there before Ronon and Rodney pick all the good stuff off our trays," Sheppard joked.

Walking back through the doors to the mess hall Sheppard added, "Doc, try to get some sleep tonight … you look really tired."

"I will … I promise," Jennifer said with a small smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. _

_

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Chapter 2

Jennifer was working in the back of the infirmary checking in the new supplies and drugs when the first casualty of the day arrived.

"Dr. Keller, you're needed on the floor," Marie called to her from the door of the supply room.

"I'll be right there," she answered, marking where she left off on her invoice sheets before heading to the main floor.

"Morning, Doc," Colonel Sheppard greeted as Jennifer approached.

"Colonel, what have you brought me?" Jennifer asked as she began assessing the young Marine.

"Lt. Haggard, ma'am," the man answered for himself standing up a little straighter.

"Relax, Lt. and take a seat on the bed so I can get a better look at that cut."

"You got an early start," Jennifer said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes at Sheppard.

"Ronon seems to be at the top of this game today. Too many Wheaties this morning," Sheppard grinned.

"Well, Lieutenant, did you learn anything?" Jennifer asked the young Marine.

"No ma'am, it all happened too fast," Haggard explained.

"Don't worry Lieutenant, by the end of your training you'll be able to handle yourself just as well," Jennifer said.

Colonel Sheppard looked at Jen and raised an eyebrow, questioning her encouragement.

Turning her back to the Lieutenant she whispered to Sheppard, "Okay, maybe not as well as Ronon but at this point I'd rather be handing out encouragement than antidepressants."

Dr. Keller proceeded to stitch up the head wound while asking Lt. Haggard about his hometown and the girl he left behind. Just as she was finishing, an awkward looking Sergeant Clark entered the infirmary holding a towel to his forearm.

"Glad I'm here to see this," Sheppard said grinning as Clark approached.

"Colonel Sheppard, I'm sure I can handle this alone. You and Lt. Haggard are free to return to your training session. And try to keep the rest of your men out of my infirmary," Doc scolded trying to sound stern but falling short as a small grin escaped.

Sheppard leaned down and whispered to Jennifer as he prepared to leave, "I expect a full report over dinner tonight." Nodding to Haggard, the men left the infirmary leaving Dr. Keller to enjoy the Sergeant's groveling alone.

"Sergeant Clark," Jennifer addressed the man as he entered her work area.

"Dr. Keller, ma'am, I seem to be in need of your services," Clark said sheepishly as he approached.

"Sergeant, I'll have you take a seat on the bed while I get a fresh tray," Jennifer instructed trying to put the man at ease.

"Doctor, I'm glad to have the opportunity to speak with you about my rude behavior yesterday. I was totally out of line and would like to apologize," Clark recited very professionally. "Dr. Keller … I really am sorry … I was an ass," he quietly added with all sincerity.

"Thank you Sergeant, I appreciate the apology. I realize it was a long day for both of us. How 'bout we start over?" Jennifer asked wanting to smooth the waters. "I'm afraid I may need to apologize for your injury," Dr. Keller added, laughing softly.

"Ma'am?" Clark replied baffled by her comment.

"Sergeant, you'll find that Atlantis is very different from any base you've ever served on … including Cheyenne Mountain. This is a very small community, in very close quarters and we all need to learn how to tolerate our differences. We expect new recruits to pick this up quickly. Those of us who've been here a long time have strong bonds and can be rather protective of each other," Jennifer explained as she cleaned his wound.

"I think I'm finding that out the hard way. Our training instructor made that very clear to me this morning. The man's got a mean glare. I was afraid he was going to burn a hole clean through me," Clark frowned as he shook his head back and forth.

"Tell you what, I'll let Ronon know that things are good between the two of us and that should help. He's a good instructor, Sergeant, and he'll be fair with you. He's not about to recommend you for off world duty unless he thinks you're ready. But he'll also do everything in his power to see you have the skills you'll need to stay alive." Jennifer hoped Clark would be able to curb his anger issues and settle in. Hot heads usually didn't last long on Atlantis.

"Thanks, Doctor, for your advice. For now I think I'll just give the man a wide berth. I guess calling him a Neanderthal didn't help," Clark said causing Jennifer to burst out laughing.

"You're all done, Sergeant. Welcome to Atlantis." Dr. Keller smiled as she released him to join his fellow recruits.

* * *

Jennifer finished checking in the new inventory from the Daedalus then settled into her office to work on reports. Lately it seemed there was never a lull in the paperwork. Once her shift ended she headed toward her quarters to clean up before dinner. It always felt good to take a long hot shower at the end of the workday. Sometimes too good and she'd forgo dinner and drop into bed hoping for a few hours of dreamless sleep.

After two years in Atlantis she thought her body would have adjusted to the demands. She continued to feel exhausted most of the time even when she made a point of eating regularly and exercising several times a week. She knew the constant interruption of sleep was disastrous to her health but hadn't been able to find a fix. If she could just find a cure for the ever-present nightmares it would probably turn her life around.

Jennifer loaded up her diner plate finding a quiet table with a view of the city. She had long since been considered a old-timer when it came to Atlantis personnel but still she ate most of her meals alone. Her job didn't afford her much time to cultivate friendships or even time to attend the various social functions on base. Actually, she usually found herself dodging most functions. She'd never figured out what was expected at social get-togethers and always felt awkward or out of place. Everyone seemed so relaxed at these events but she always felt she stuck out like a sore thumb so it was much easier to just cuddle up with a good book or go for a long run. Never having had a social life, Jennifer didn't know what she was missing.

"Good evening, Doc. Am I interrupting?" Colonel Sheppard asked as he moved to take a chair across from her.

"Not at all. Please sit," Jennifer offered with a smile.

"Okay, what happened with Sergeant Clark? I want all the details," John asked raising his eyebrows.

"You are merciless," Jennifer scolded laughing. "He apologized and I do believe it was very sincere. So you can take him off your watch list."

"Good. One less hot head to look after," John said relieved. "Perhaps you should pass this along to Ronon so he lets up on the poor guy."

"I planned on telling Ronon we cleared the air. Hopefully the Sergeant can figure out how to channel his enthusiasm away from us and toward the enemy," Jennifer replied.

More of Sheppard's team arrived settling around the table. Jennifer took a few minutes to quietly inform Ronon of Sergeant Clark's apology and he promised to lighten up. She always enjoyed the few times she'd sat with SGA-1 and their extended family around the dining table listening to all their banter. It didn't happen often but when it did she always left feeling like she'd been given a warm hug. Almost like she belonged. Too soon her time with the team came to a sudden end.

"Dr. Keller," Marie called as Jennifer's radio crackled to life.

"Go ahead, Marie," Jennifer answered as she turned away from the table.

"Doctor, we have an injury in the infirmary that needs your attention."

"I'll be right there," Jennifer called as she began picking up her empty dishes.

"What's going on, Doc," Sheppard asked concerned it might be one of his men.

"An injury in the infirmary. I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about," she assured him. "Thank you for your company," Jennifer said as she nodded to everyone and stood to leave.

Teyla watched Jennifer leave the mess hall thinking how much she enjoyed the young doctor's company.

"I think that Dr. Keller looks rather tired," Teyla said looking around the table.

"They need more doctors," Ronon said between bites.

"It's harder to find good personnel for Atlantis especially doctors," McKay added never taking his eyes off his data pad.

"I think Colonel Carter mentioned they have more medical staff coming on the next Daedalus trip so that should help," Sheppard added.

"I think I will invite her to join me next time I visit New Athos. The change will be good for her and my people will be very welcoming," Teyla said knowing her people would love the new CMO.

Dr. Keller finished up with the emergency and headed to her room to change into her running clothes. She hoped a long run would help her sleep.

* * *

It was 0300 hours when Jennifer got the page from the infirmary informing her that one of her nurses was hurt and needed to be seen. She quickly dressed heading to the infirmary.

"Gloria, what happened?" Jennifer asked the young woman as she began examining her forearm. The bruising already beginning to show, it was evident the injury was causing a lot of pain.

"I'm sorry to get you up, Doctor. It was really stupid. I got up to go to the bathroom and tripped on my running shoes. Then as I hit the floor my body sort of rolled over it," Gloria Newburg winced as Dr. Keller checked her for range of motion. "I was going to wait until morning but it's getting pretty painful and I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Well, I'm going to need to get it under the scanner. Are you hurt anywhere else?" Jennifer asked as she motioned for the night nurse.

"No, just my arm and my pride," Gloria frowned.

Dr. Keller had the duty nurse take her for a scan as she pulled the night log to see what other activity the infirmary had seen during the night. Jennifer had her doctors on a rotating on-call schedule from 0100 hours until 0500 when incidents were at the lowest. This was her week to be on-call and so far the week had been fairly quiet.

"Gloria, it looks like a simple break so it should heal with no problems. I'd like you to keep ice on it tonight and we'll cast it in the morning. That'll give it time for the swelling to go down." Jennifer instructed after seeing her scan.

After giving her nurse some pain meds, Dr. Keller returned her file to her office and locked up. Knowing she'd have a hard time getting back to sleep she decided to get something to drink in the mess hall.

Jennifer wandered into the dining room spotting Colonel Sheppard sitting off in a corner. She made herself a cup of tea and pulled up a chair next to him.

"Nightmares, Doc?" Sheppard asked as she sat down.

"One of my nurses fell and broke her arm. I just finished up and thought I'll have a cup of tea and relax before I try to get back to sleep. How about you?" Jennifer inquired.

"Clowns." Sheppard growled frowning.

"Seriously? I just thought you were kidding the other night." Jennifer grinned trying not to laugh.

"Never underestimate the power of greasepaint and polka dots," Sheppard answered frowning.

"After some of the nightmares I've had lately, I'm not ready to criticize anyone," she offered. I rarely had nightmares till I moved to Atlantis. Sometimes it's hard to accept. I haven't figured out how to calm myself down yet so I practice several times a week," Jennifer said sarcastically.

"I think I've dreamt of clowns my whole life. I'm sure there's some weird dysfunctional family meaning to that. Thankfully, they aren't as often as they use to be. What about you, Doc, what do you dream about?" John asked.

"Mostly I'm the target of some weird alien enemy. I spend a lot of time running, fighting and pleading for help," she laughed. "Usually there's some underlying element in them that pops out and subconsciously you know it's a dream. But once in a while I have a dream that's so real it takes a while to snap out of it. Those are the ones that seem to cause havoc for days."

"Did you ever have nightmares when you were younger?" Sheppard asked curious about her life back on Earth.

"Not often when I was a child… more so while I was in college and Med school but nothing like here in Atlantis. When I was a kid my dad used to always wrap his arms around me in a big bear hug until the demons ran away," Jennifer replied between sips of her tea. "What about you, Colonel, have you always had nightmares?"

"I've had my fair share most of my life, although not so much when I was married. Maybe nightmares are a side effect of sleeping alone," Sheppard chuckled.

"There's probably a research paper in there somewhere," Jennifer laughed. "Well, I best mosey back to my room and try to get some sleep before the alarm goes off. See you tomorrow, Colonel."

"Sweet dreams, Doc."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. _

**_A/N_**_: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

_

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_

Chapter 3

Dr. Keller spent her morning in the supply room re-stocking medical kits for off world missions. She flagged two of the kits as lacking morphine placing them on the back shelves. She hoped they wouldn't be forced to put them into the rotation until after the Daedalus arrived with their next supply shipment.

Over the years she'd improved on the basic first aid kit the teams carried making it much more of a survival kit complete with heart defibrillator. Jennifer was tired of teams going through the gate without the proper equipment for an emergency. She revamped the whole system and required all off world teams and jumpers to carry the added supplies. The new system had already proven itself many times over.

Dr. Keller had taken control over the inventory duties during the past year hoping to find out why there seemed to be a discrepancy when reconciling the supplies with the database.

She'd checked in all the drugs herself then entered them into the database without any assistance so why didn't they match up? As far as the database was concerned, everything matched but when she went back to her hand written sheets they were way off. Sitting down at her desk she made a list of all personnel who had access to the system.

Leaning back in her chair she looked at the list making notes beside each name… trustworthy, new recruit, hates the computer, no access to drugs, attitude problems, 2+years, loyal worker, hates Atlantis, always late, doesn't respect my authority, etc. Looking the list over nothing jumped out at her as unusual and none of her people appeared to have a drug problem. "Maybe I'm over reacting," she thought. When she was done with her comparison, Jennifer took photocopies of her notes and printed off a copy of the database. She took all her paperwork and locked it away in her file cabinet until she could work on it again in more detail. "As soon as I complete an exhaustive comparison I'll sit down and show it to Colonel Carter," she decided. Until then, there were a million other things that needed her attention.

Pulling the latest patient files from her "to do" bin, Jennifer settled in to finish up her notes on recent procedures. As she opened the first file she heard someone knock on her office door.

"Dr. Keller, do you have a moment?" Marie asked.

"Sure, Marie. What can I do for you?" Jennifer asked her nurse and dear friend.

"I was wondering if you had a few minutes to go over some of the plans for the fundraiser?

Jennifer didn't know how it'd happened but she'd been roped into heading up the Recreation Room project. A small committee of Lanteans had found a large room, which would be perfect for a rec hall and had even obtained permission to use the room as long as they had a department head to oversee the project. Most of the people on the committee were friends and colleagues she worked with in the infirmary. It was hard to say no when they'd approached her for help.

"I'm not sure how much input you could want from me but fire away." Jennifer answered. The group was planning an auction and social evening for the near future, hopefully in the next month or two. It's not like she had any personal experience with this type of event. Actually, she'd never even been to an auction or "social" event in her life.

"We finally settled on a theme and need your approval. We thought we'd go with a 1940s USO type setting and sell dance tickets. We'll also have a silent auction. What do you think?" Marie asked, grinning from ear to ear. She was so excited about the project and her enthusiasm was contagious.

"Wow, you've really put a lot of thought into this whole project. I'm really impressed," Jennifer said encouragingly. "I'm not sure how much help I can be but you've got my approval."

"We're hoping to make enough off of this function to purchase a pool table and possibly a ping pong table as well. Laura is working on the transportation of the items, which could be rather difficult since there's not much extra room on the Daedalus," Marie said expressing her concerns.

"If I know Cadman, no one can refuse her not even Colonel Caldwell," Jennifer replied laughing. "Well, maybe on the first request, but after she's hounded them relentlessly they usually cave. Sounds like this Recreation Room is actually becoming a reality. Good work, Marie."

"Thank you, Dr. Keller. It's nice to have an outlet and I really believe in this project. Say, would you like to donate something to our auction?" Marie asked hopefully.

"I'm not sure if I have anything of worth but I'll come up with something."

"Thanks," Marie answered as she stood to leave. "We really appreciate your willingness to help us. You may not think you have anything of value but I can assure you your dance tickets will be in high demand." Marie grinned as she walked out of the office.

Jennifer wasn't sure what dance tickets were all about and worried that she might have volunteered herself into a corner. "I'd better Google USO and see if I should schedule myself to work that night," she thought to herself.

* * *

Jennifer was just locking up for the day when Ronon walked into her office.

"Hey Doc, have you seen Sheppard?" he asked looking out toward the infirmary floor.

"You just missed him. He escorted Sergeant Hawkins here to have a cut looked at but left immediately," Jennifer informed him as she nodded toward Dr. Cole who was taking care of the Sergeant.

"He must've gone on to dinner. Are you done for the day?" Ronon asked seeing her turn her computer off.

"Just finished, did you need anything?" Jennifer asked knowing Ronon would prefer having her take care of his medical needs than any of the other infirmary staff.

"Nope, walk with me," Ronon said as he took her arm leading her out of the infirmary.

"Can I ask where we're going?" she laughed.

"Time to eat," Ronon said knowing she probably hadn't eaten all day.

Jennifer didn't socialize a lot with her friends mainly because she still didn't feel like she belonged but she loved how protective they'd become when it came to her health and safety. Ronon and Major Lorne usually breezed through the infirmary several times a week checking to see if she was eating. She usually begged off but that didn't always work. When things were at their worse with off world returns and new recruit physicals she'd often return to her office late in the evening and find a tray of food waiting for her complete with dessert.

Jennifer set her tray down next to Teyla greeting everyone as she pulled the chair out.

"Good evening, Jennifer. How was your day?" Teyla asked smiling at her friend.

"It was long, which I guess makes it pretty normal," she softly chuckled.

"Have you taken any time off since you took this position?" Sheppard asked knowing the increase in duties and expectations that went with the CMO title. He had a responsibility for the safety of all personnel on base but tended to stretch that to their health and happiness as well when it came to his inner circle. John had considered her part of his "team" for a while now even if she didn't realize it.

"Not really," Jennifer answered not wanting to get into a discussion about her non-existent social life. If she were forced to take a leave back to Earth she had no idea what she'd do. Her dad died earlier in the year and she had no close relatives. There were still a few friends from her time working at the SGC although those people were just as busy as she was so the idea of a "visit" with any of them would consist of chatting over lunch in their mess hall. She had accelerated through her educational years leaving her no time to socialize or form friendships. So here she was at 27 years old with no real past to speak of and not feeling like she fit in anywhere. "Thank goodness I love my job," she thought to herself.

"Vacations are over-rated," Rodney added while scribbling some notes on a napkin. "I haven't taken any time off in years and it hasn't hurt me any."

"My point," Sheppard said rolling his eyes at McKay's remark.

"Your Earth customs are weird," Ronon scowled. "I don't see the reason for time off."

Lorne walked into the dining room and spotted the team at their favorite table. After grabbing something to eat he joined them sitting next to Jennifer.

"So, what've I missed," Lorne asked grinning.

"The pros and cons of vacation," Rodney answered.

"How was your mission, Major?" Sheppard asked his 2IC.

"Long and boring but at least it was productive. The local council is ready to sign a trading agreement," Lorne explained after returning from a weeklong trade negotiation with a new planet. "So, who's going on vacation?" Lorne asked getting back to the original discussion.

"No one," Jennifer, Teyla and Rodney all chimed in at the same time.

"Jennifer, if you are free next week, I would enjoy your company on a trip to New Athos to see my people. It would give you a rest from your duties and I know my people would enjoy meeting you," Teyla said hoping she would agree knowing Jennifer could use a day off to relax and get away from Atlantis.

"Would you mind if I held a small clinic while we're there?" Jennifer was always nervous when she went off world and holding a clinic would take her mind off all the things that could happen on the other side of the gate.

"My people would appreciate such a gesture," Teyla smiled thankful she was considering her offer. "I will let you know which day so you can prepare."

"So can I count this as vacation?" Jennifer asked, raising her eyebrows at Colonel Sheppard.

"Doesn't sound all that restful to me," he fired back.

"I have just the thing. I just checked my mailbox on the way here and I have the next 4 episodes of Survivor if anyone's interested," Lorne announced holding up the DVD that'd arrived on the Daedalus while he was off world.

"How 'bout we use Doc's quarters tonight, she has better furniture," Ronon suggested thinking about the overstuffed recliner in the corner of her room.

"Actually, I'm heading back to the infirmary for a little while," she informed everyone.

"Aw, come on Doc, you worked long enough today. I could make it an order," Sheppard teased.

"I'm not sure if I'd have to obey… but okay, I guess my problem can wait till tomorrow. Give me at least ten minutes to clean up the room," she said getting up to leave.

"Hold up, Doc, I'll walk with you," Lorne said moving off after her.

Evan and Jennifer had been close friends since their days together at the SGC, which made him her closest friend on Atlantis. Evan Lorne was one of the most eligible men on base, often earning Jennifer the title of 'most scowled at by lonely women'. She'd even had a few of her nurses over the years give her the cold shoulder until they realized she and Evan were just close friends. Considering the over protective nature of Ronon and Evan it was no wonder none of the women on base had struck up a friendship with her. Most couldn't see beyond their own jealousy. But it also worked in her favor, the men on base seemed to steer clear of her because of her friendships and that suited her just fine.

"So what's new with you?" Evan asked as they walked toward her quarters.

"Same old stuff … work, nightmares and the occasional come on line from some new recruit. My life is full," Jennifer laughed. "Lately I've been trying to solve some inventory discrepancies that have me baffled."

"Then you definitely need a night of passivity," Evan grinned.

Shortly, everyone arrived and settled themselves in the living area of Jennifer's room. They placed their collective junk food on the coffee table as Evan connected the laptop to the TV screen. As the show started with it's customary 'Previously … on Survivor', Jennifer cuddled in closer to Evan and promptly started to drift. This is when she slept the best, surrounded by the safety of friends knowing they'd keep the nightmares at bay.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

_

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_

Chapter 4

Colonel Sheppard checked his watch, preparing to swing by the mess hall and check on Dr. Keller. He'd found her napping on the couch the last two nights apparently unable to sleep in her room, most likely the victim of nightmares. Sheppard chuckled to himself wondering how anyone could sleep on the furniture that occupied the corner of the dining room. It was nice to sit in a more relaxed area with a cup of coffee but it definitely wasn't the most comfortable.

Teyla and Jennifer had gone to New Athos together to visit Teyla's people and hold an impromptu clinic four days ago. It was Dr. Keller's first trip to the settlement and she'd packed every thing but the kitchen sink including a huge jar of lollypops for the kids. He remembered how nervous she looked as he watched them leave through the gate. If he'd known then what was waiting on the other side he never would have allowed the women to leave Atlantis. He still felt guilty at how long they'd had to wait for rescue.

When the women walked into the settlement, Teyla had known immediately something was wrong. Her people were gone and Bola Kai warriors were plundering the village. The women spent all their time and energy just trying to stay alive until rescue arrived, something he knew Jennifer wasn't prepared for. They knew he'd come for them when they'd missed their check in. Knew the men would stop at nothing to take back what belonged to them. They just needed to stay alive until Atlantis realized they were late.

Colonel Sheppard closed the file he was working on, preparing to leave for the night. He'd check on Jennifer and then make it back to his quarters for a few hours sleep before the sun came up.

* * *

_Jennifer began to unpack her medical bags, lining instruments up along the table behind the bed she'd use for her exams. She was so thankful and excited Teyla had invited her to visit her people. It was a beautiful walk from the gate and everyone was so welcoming, calling greetings to the two women all along the path. She knew this would be a relaxing day away from the city and was even looking forward to the celebration that night. _

_Dr. Keller had just finished examining a little girl who had an ear infection. After giving the mother some medication, she handed the girl a lollypop and was rewarded with a huge smile. As Dr. Keller called for the next patient she heard a huge commotion in the outer room. She turned around just as two huge men with painted faces kicked the door in wielding axes over their heads. Jennifer screamed as she ran to the back of the room escaping through a door leading out the back of the building. _

_She was frantic to find Teyla … frantic to find anyone to help her. Jennifer ran across the clearing next to the fire pit trying to find the path to the gate. As she came around a building she saw Teyla fighting with several warriors using only her knife and a thick branch from a fallen tree._

"_Run Jennifer! Run to the gate," Teyla screamed as she took down several of the men who were attacking her. _

"_I can't just leave you," Jennifer cried._

"_Go now … get help," Teyla urged. She took out her last attacker and ran to help the other men of the village._

_Jennifer turned and stumbled toward the far side of the camp. Once she found the path she ran as fast as she could through the woods to the gate. As she dialed Atlantis she could still hear the screams of the people and feel the heat of the fires burning everything to the ground._

_Incredible relief washed over her as the gate came to life promising escape and help for the people of New Athos … for Teyla. She ran toward the blue glow of the event horizon but not fast enough. From both sides of the clearing in front of the gate came more Bola Kai warriors. There were so many she couldn't count them all. The first warriors to reach her knocked her to the ground hitting her with their fists and clubs ripping her clothes and clawing her face. Jennifer fought back trying to remember all the things Ronon had taught her. She couldn't stop screaming … screaming for Teyla._

Jennifer flew out of bed in a tangle of sheets, landing roughly on the floor as she screamed out Teyla's name. Adrenalin coursed through her body pushing all reasoning away. She saw warriors with painted faces in every shadow of her room. She picked herself up gasping for air, looking for some route of escape. She couldn't catch her breath. Something was sucking all the air from her room … from her lungs. She lunged for the door escaping into the hallway and began running.

It was 0200 hours and the corridors were empty. The lights were dim casting eerie shadows along the walls. She panicked as she approached every intersecting corridor fearful the Bola Kai were waiting to grab her. At some level Jennifer knew it was just a nightmare but this was more real than anything she'd ever experienced. She kept moving, moving away from the enemy.

Jennifer slowed down as she walked into the mess hall. She looked around wildly searching for anything threatening. The mess hall was empty tonight bringing a small measure of relief.

* * *

On his way to the mess hall Sheppard ran into the security team making their nightly rounds.

"Good evening Sergeant," Sheppard said as the men stood at attention.

"Sir, I was just trying to raise you on the radio," Sergeant Riley answered.

"I must've left it in my office." Sheppard replied.

"Colonel, sir, Dr. Keller is in the mess hall looking rather distraught. I knew you'd want to know," Sergeant Riley explained.

"Thank you, Riley, I was just on my way there myself," Sheppard replied, dismissing the men.

* * *

Jennifer quickly made her way to the far side of the room where the couch was located. Walking to the end of the large piece of furniture, she slid down the wall leaning into the fabric of the couch hiding as much as possible. She wrapped her arms around her knees pulling them tightly against her chest, burying her head as she released her tears. This was how Sheppard found her … still trembling from the dream.

"Doc?" John quietly whispered as he squatted down in front of her. "Jennifer, you're alright. There's nothing here to hurt you. Let me move you to the couch," he said as he rested a hand on her arm.

Jennifer raised her head enough to look into John's face. "Not yet," she whispered, her eyes darting to and from looking for painted faces.

John had never seen her out of control like this. Dr. Keller was a vision of perfection and skill in the infirmary and in the field, never letting anything get in her way when treating a patient. Sheppard was always impressed with the excellent care she gave to those under his command. New recruits aside, she'd earned the respect and admiration of the entire military contingent on Atlantis and they all kept a protective eye on her. Seeing her cower as she hid herself in a corner of the mess hall was hard for Sheppard to see. He wanted to comfort her, to help her through the visions that had a hold on her but he was powerless to know what to do. Emotional issues were never his forte.

He moved to sit beside her with his back against the wall as close to her as possible hoping his presence would help snap her out of the fog she was in and back to reality. They both suffered from nightmares so he knew it was wise not to make sudden moves … baby steps. After a few moments, John put his arm around her shoulders softly assuring her she was safe.

"Jennifer, it's okay. I've scanned the room, there's no one here. It's just us." Sheppard continued to speak softly till he felt her shoulders release some of the tension she'd been holding. On impulse he pulled her into his shoulder and held her as best he could while sitting on the floor.

Jennifer turned sideways burying herself in his chest.

"I'm so sorry. It was all my fault," she sobbed as John rubbed her back. "I couldn't do anything to help … they're right, I don't belong here … Teyla's hurt because of me … I'm so sorry."

"No, this wasn't your fault. Your job was to make it home alive and you did that. I don't want to hear you blame yourself again," he firmly stated. John knew she hadn't really slept since they'd returned and was hoping she'd find a way to push beyond the dreams.

He continued to hold her while she cried all the tears she'd been holding since the whole ordeal began. After a while, Sheppard realized she'd finally fallen asleep. Knowing she needed the rest, he leaned his head against the wall deciding to settle in and hold her while she slept.

The Colonel had been drifting in and out of a light sleep when he heard someone approach. Sergeant Clark softly cleared his throat to get the Colonel's attention. Sheppard slowly opened his eyes. Upon seeing Clark and Milton he realized there must have been a shift change. He nodded at Sergeant Clark as the man held out a blanket then slowly closed his eyes again but not before scanning his immediate area.

"Thank you Sergeant," Sheppard whispered as he nodded toward the two women who were sitting across the room with a clear line of vision to where they were sleeping.

"Yes sir," Clark answered. The Sergeant gently placed the blanket around Dr. Keller tucking in the edges. The Marine had a new found respect for the young doctor since that awful ordeal when he first arrived. _He'd do whatever it took to protect her reputation_, he thought as he moved over toward the women across the room.

The women smiled at each other as the security patrol walked over to their table.

"Hello Sergeant, Lieutenant, how are both of you this evening?" the blonde woman asked as the men approached.

"Good evening ladies," Sergeant Clark said as he stood blocking their view. It appeared that the women had shared a cup of coffee together and probably a bit of gossip as well.

"It's so good to know we have you men patrolling our halls keeping us all safe," the brunette said as she turned on the charm offering her sweetest smile. She was hoping to get some more information on the Colonel and the doctor to take back to the science lab in the morning. Her friends wouldn't believe what they were seeing across the room. She was bummed she didn't have a camera with her. "Where are my manners, this is my friend Barbara," she said pointing to the blonde woman sitting next to her. "And my name is Dorothy but you boys can call me Dotty," she finished her introductions with a flirtatious grin.

"Thank you Ma'am. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to move along, there's a no loitering regulation for the mess hall at this time of night," Clark explained.

"What about them?" Barbara asked trying to point around the Marines toward Sheppard and Jennifer.

"I'm sorry but you two are the only ones I see in the mess hall. We'd be happy to walk you to your rooms," Clark responded making it clear that it was none of their business and gossiping wouldn't be appreciated.

"Oh, that would be lovely," Dotty giggled, happy with the thought of strolling through the corridors with two good-looking Marines. Maybe she'd even get a date out of one of them before she got back to her room. Barbara scowled as she pushed her chair in hoping to get one more look at the two sleeping across the room. She knew there'd be all hell to pay if the rumor mill got hold of this little tidbit so she decided not to say anything. She wondered what she'd have to do to receive the same kind of treatment from the dreamy Colonel Sheppard.

* * *

It was just after 0400 hours when Ronon heard the radio go off in his ear. He was slouched in his recliner where he'd flopped after returning from his run earlier in the evening.

"Ronon, this is Major Lorne. Please respond," Lorne called.

"What?" Ronon snapped.

"Ronon, I need Colonel Sheppard in the control room and can't raise him on the radio," Lorne explained knowing Ronon would find him quickly.

"I'll track him down," Ronon replied as he grabbed his boots.

Sheppard could once again feel someone standing in front of him and opened his eyes.

"Where's your radio," Ronon asked quietly.

"Must've left it in my office."

"Lorne needs you in the control room. How's she doing?" Ronon asked as he nodded at Jennifer.

"Major melt-down, finally. I think this is the first real sleep she's gotten so I hated waking her," Sheppard explained as he began to move Jennifer off his chest.

"I'll take her," Ronon said reaching down and scooping her up.

"There're still Bola Kai in her room so you might want to lay her on the couch," John said smiling. "Maybe wake her before the early risers start filing in," Sheppard added as he threw the blanket over the back of the couch.

"Think I'll just take her to my room. Those scientists usually start showing up in a half hour. She can sleep in my bed," Ronon suggested.

"Okay. Let me know how she does. I'll let Marie know she might be late to work," Sheppard said as he headed toward the doors. Hopefully she'd sleep for a few more hours. He felt unusually protective of Doc right now and wasn't really sure why. Maybe it was because of her current mental state. Whatever the reason, his arms felt peculiarly empty without them wrapped around the good doctor. He decided to re-visit that thought at another time as he arrived in the control room.

* * *

Jennifer bolted upright gasping for air, yelling for someone or something to get off her. She started to panic when she couldn't place where she was.

Ronon had been dozing in his recliner across the room but quickly moved to the side of the bed when he heard her yelling.

"You're okay, Doc. You're in my room … nothing's after you. It was just a bad dream," Ronon assured her as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Jennifer closed her eyes forcing herself to breathe slowly, trying to calm her nerves. "How did I get here?" she asked feeling very confused and a bit embarrassed.

"Sheppard was looking after you in the mess hall but he got called to the control room. I brought you here so you could sleep longer. How're you feeling?"

"Aside from the bad dream just now I feel more rested than I have in a few days. Thanks Ronon, I'm sorry to kick you out of your own bed."

"Not a problem, Doc. Why don't you go clean up and I'll pick you up in a half hour for breakfast. Sheppard already let Marie know you'd be late." Ronon stated firmly getting to his feet.

"Okay," Jennifer quietly replied knowing there'd be no arguing.

Thankfully she didn't pass anyone on the way to her room. Thirty minutes later Ronon showed up at her door as promised. Arriving at the mess hall, they filled their trays with food joining Sheppard and Teyla out on the balcony for a late breakfast. Since they had the balcony to themselves the women felt comfortable enough to share more details with Sheppard and Ronon about their ordeal. Looking around the table at the faces of her friends Jennifer finally realized this is where she fit in.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

_

* * *

_

Chapter 5

Jennifer tried to organize the paperwork from her ongoing inventory problem but her office was just too small and the lack of free workspace only caused her more frustration. Things had been so hectic the last few months leaving her very little time to try and solve her problem. The Daedalus had come and gone once again and still the problem kept recurring. The best she could do last trip was print off all the database stats once she got the inventory checked in. Jen felt this had gone on long enough and was determined to resolve the problem this week.

Grabbing all the paperwork for the past six months and her data pad, she headed to her quarters to put in a few extra hours. She'd taken the evening shifts this week for Dr. Cole who was in bed with some sort of virus. Jennifer was never ready for bed after working the late shifts so she decided to diligently spend the week working on the problem.

Changing into some lounge clothes, she spread the sheets out on her bed hoping the extra large flat surface would be helpful. After an hour of bending over at an odd angle she decided to move everything to the mess hall and use the dining hall tables. Very few people came through the mess hall at this time of night so she'd be able to work undisturbed. The whole project was starting to give her a headache.

After laying everything out on the dining tables, she decided to go back to the beginning, to when she first discovered the problem. Jennifer pulled out all her order sheets, packing lists from the Daedalus and the database printouts and methodically started comparing each step. After a couple of hours it became apparent the only discrepancies were with the morphine vials. Her headache continued to get worse as the night grew long. Around 0300 hours she decided to take a break and make a cup of hot tea.

Jennifer sat in her favorite spot with her feet up in the windowsill thinking about the inventory problem when Colonel Sheppard entered the mess hall.

"Hey Doc, how are you tonight? I see you're creating your own nightmare," Sheppard said smiling at the paperwork mess on the table behind her.

"Nightmare is a perfect description," she frowned.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Sheppard asked raising his eyebrows in a playful scowl.

"I'm on evening shifts this week and usually sleep later in the morning. I need time to unwind although this probably isn't the most relaxing way to fill my time," she said sarcastically. "Having trouble sleeping?" Jennifer asked.

"Yeah, thought I'd just wander around for a bit. What're you working on anyway?"

"I found some problems with my inventory in the infirmary a few months ago and I'm trying to figure it out so I can fix it," Jennifer explained.

"Is the SGC short changing you on your orders?" Sheppard asked.

"More like some things are sprouting legs and walking off," she grumbled. My hope is I've transposed some numbers somewhere along the way but my gut tells me I have a real problem I'm about to shine a light on."

"What kind of problem?" Sheppard asked anxiously.

"I can't seem to reconcile the morphine supply with the amounts ordered."

"Doc, I'm not comfortable with you working alone on this if it turns out someone is stealing drugs out of the infirmary," Sheppard said voicing his concerns. "Does anyone else know what you're doing?"

"No, right now I'm just trying to see if there's really a problem. I thought I'd inform you and Colonel Carter once I'd determined what I was dealing with."

"How long have you been working on this?" he asked.

"Maybe four … close to five months. I was starting to see a weird pattern but then I got bogged down with work and some personal challenges. I'm just getting back to working on it so I should know something in a few days," Jennifer replied.

Sheppard knew things had been pretty crazy on base lately. None of them had any spare time to speak of. The infirmary had been especially busy with all the fall out from the off world missions. Combined with all the new recruits that arrived last week and he could understand her problem getting put on the back burner. As for her "personal challenges", he knew she was still dealing with her ordeal on New Athos but Doc wasn't one to complain so Sheppard assumed she'd be dealing with it on her own. If this was indeed a drug problem then he wanted to be working on it with her.

"How about we see if the kitchen left any donuts out on the counter to go with your tea? I'll bet a day's pay you didn't eat tonight," Sheppard challenged smirking.

"Who can remember that far back? Let's just go find something to snack on … I know better than to bet with you especially on a sure thing!" Jennifer laughed as she headed toward the kitchen.

"So, have you been able to sleep through the night yet?" Sheppard asked as he pulled a chair up next to Jen's.

"I think it's getting better. I'm almost on a first name basis with the kitchen staff," she replied chuckling. "Seriously, I don't have as many bad dreams now and none of them are as bad as right after New Athos. I've been able to talk some with Teyla and that's helped," she smiled. "So, how about you, Colonel? Any more Volkswagens with unlimited seating?" Jennifer couldn't help but tease Sheppard about his disdain for clowns. "Promise not to laugh … when I feel scared in the middle of the night I imagine the Bola Kai painted up like clowns wearing big floppy shoes. It helps calm my nerves," Jennifer blushed, feeling slightly embarrassed by her admission.

Sheppard couldn't help but laugh. "No … that just makes my dreams worse. Now I'll probably dream of clowns wielding axes and swinging clubs."

They both laughed until it was physically hurtful to laugh anymore. Sheppard hadn't relaxed this much in months.

"Well, I'd best get on with my rounds. I _do_ have to get up in the morning," Sheppard signed. "Doc, do you mind if I give you a hand with your investigation? I'd really like to be kept in the loop on this one," he said in all seriousness.

"Sure, I can always use another pair of eyes. Unfortunately, right now the only time I have to work on it is late at night but I'll keep you informed on anything unusual I might find," she offered.

"Sounds good. When I can, I'll help at night too." Sheppard planned on making time to help out. "Don't work too long … you still look tired," Sheppard added. "Sweet dreams, Doc."

Jennifer worked for another hour making notes as she went. She pulled out a small calendar from the back of her supply order file and began logging discrepancies. She also suspected whenever the stock of morphine changed the database would change as well. She made a note to talk with Rodney sometime soon about putting a password on the database so she had better control on who could alter it.

* * *

Ronon finished his lunch, heading toward the gym to ready himself for a personal training session. Dr. Keller had approached him a couple of weeks ago asking for some self-defense lessons and they were just now getting started. Ronon knew he'd have to be firm with her and not allow excuses once the training began. Too often the non-military personnel would start with self-defense lessons and never finish, letting the workload of Atlantis take control of their time. He cared too much about Doc's safety to let her stop her training lessons until he was convinced she could handle herself in battle.

"Hey Ronon," Jennifer called out as she entered the gym. "Ready to get your butt kicked?" she asked grinning.

Ronon raised his eyebrow questioningly. "I'll take my chances," he growled trying not to let his grin show. Except for Teyla, Dr. Keller was the only woman on base not intimidated by him. Maybe that's why both these women held a soft spot in Ronon's heart … he'd go above and beyond to protect them.

Ronon worked on the basics for the better part of an hour setting down a good foundation for Jennifer. He was very proud of the doctor as she never complained and never backed down from anything he asked her to do. As their time was winding down, Ronon went through a little review of what he'd taught her so far. At one point he got in an offensive position and started to scowl at Jennifer and advance on her as an attacker. Jennifer did just fine at first taking the right position to defend herself. The more menacing he looked the harder Jennifer found it to take him seriously, it'd been a long day. When Jennifer was really tired she had a tendency to find everything funny. Just before Ronon attacked, Jennifer burst out laughing.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized as he threw his hands up rolling his eyes.

"Why is it that everyone in Atlantis cowers at me, even in training, but you stand there and laugh at me?" Ronon asked as he stood a short distance from her with his hands on his hips.

"Because they don't know what a sweetheart you really are," Jennifer explained.

"I'll show you sweetheart," Ronon growled as he charged at her.

Jennifer shrieked and turned to run. She actually made it a few feet before Ronon scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder. Jennifer couldn't stop laughing and started tickling him from her inverted position over his shoulder. Holding her with one arm, Ronon reached around and tickled her unmercifully causing even more shrieking.

Major Lorne was almost to the doors of the gym when he heard all the commotion. Hearing Jennifer's screeches he picked up his pace. Throwing the doors open he walked in to see Jennifer wiggling out of Ronon's grasp and landing solidly on the mat. Before Ronon could turn around she was on her feet and hiding behind Evan.

She kept bobbing and weaving behind Lorne using him as a shield all the while making faces at Ronon.

"Whoa," Evan yelled as he put his hands out to stop Ronon's advance on him. "Don't be putting me in the middle of this, Missy," Lorne playfully growled at Jennifer as he tried to get away from both of them. Jennifer continued to use Evan's body pulling him backwards as she bent down and scooped up her gym bag.

"See you tomorrow, Ronon. Same time?" Jennifer giggled as she released Lorne reaching for the door.

"Same time," Ronon growled with a twinkle in his eye. Turning toward Lorne he added, "Don't expect the same treatment."

Lorne smiled shaking his head as he prepared himself for his training session.

* * *

Jennifer was in her office when the call came in. SGA-8 was coming back with wounded. Dr. Keller assembled her team heading to the jumper bay. Colonel Sheppard was already in the bay waiting for the hatch to open.

"Major Graden report," Sheppard ordered as soon as the major exited the jumper.

"Sir, we were ambushed on our way back to the jumper. Sergeant Clives was shot twice … in the shoulder and stomach. Lt. Crayson has a broken leg."

"We'll debrief after your men are stable," Sheppard called over his shoulder following the medical team down the corridor to the infirmary.

* * *

Dr. Keller spent the next several hours working on Sergeant Clives while Dr. Cole took care of Lieutenant Crayson's broken leg. Colonel Sheppard and the rest of SGA-8 looked on from the observation theater above.

It was a tedious surgery, but Jennifer was more than satisfied with the outcome. She pulled her gloves off giving Marie post op instructions for Sergeant Clives before they wheeled him off to recovery. Leaving the operating room Jen made her way to the observation lounge to talk to Sheppard.

"Colonel, the Sergeant did very well and should make a complete recovery. I would guess that he'll be out of your rotation for 6 to 8 weeks. He had quite a bit of blood loss but both wounds cleaned up very nicely," Jennifer explained sighing from fatigue.

"Thanks, Doc. When will he be awake?" Sheppard asked.

"It'll probably be several hours before he regains consciousness but you're welcome to wait or I can have Marie radio you when he's awake," Jennifer said as she slowly rubbed the back of her neck.

"You did good, Doc. Come on, let's get you something to eat," Sheppard said firmly as he reached over to push her toward the door. "I'm sure it's been a while since you've been off your feet."

"Actually, a warm bed and my pillow sound more appealing but I guess I'll settle for a hot meal," Jennifer replied knowing a hot meal would be good for a change. After letting Marie know where she'd be the two headed toward the mess hall.

"You know, Doc, sleep can be over-rated. Besides, I heard a rumor there's chocolate cake on the menu tonight," Sheppard said grinning.

"Perfect! Major Lorne owes me his piece too," Jennifer exclaimed rubbing her hands together.

"How does that work?" Sheppard asked looking rather confused.

"He lost a bet so he owes me his cake until the next jinxed mission I go on," she explained smiling.

"That doesn't seem like a very long reward what with your record and all," Sheppard teased.

"That's mean," Jennifer huffed, playfully socking Sheppard in the arm.

"I hate to burst your bubble but Major Lorne left about an hour ago on a mission. Sorry, Doc."

"Rats! With my luck I'll probably never collect on the bet. I'll be more careful the next time we agree on a reward," Jennifer grumbled.

Jennifer and Sheppard sat around the table with the rest of SGA-1 and Colonel Carter discussing old missions and fast food restaurants. Toward the end of the meal Sergeant Clark approached the table.

"Colonel Sheppard, Sir," Clark nodded acknowledging his commanding officer.

"Sergeant," Sheppard replied putting the man at ease.

"Dr. Keller, I believe this belongs to you," Clark explained pulling a piece of cake from behind his back and placing it on the table in front of her.

"Thank you Sergeant," Jennifer squealed, clapping her hands.

"You're welcome, Doc, but I'm just the messenger," the Sergeant explained grinning.

She took her prize, placing it in the middle of the table for everyone to share. It was the perfect ending to a long day on Atlantis and she couldn't stop smiling.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

_

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Chapter 6

Jennifer sat out on the balcony enjoying a late lunch. It was a sunny day, which prompted her to settle in for a few extra minutes enjoying the warmth of the sun. She'd just finished her last evening shift, with the rest of the day off Jennifer was in no hurry to go anywhere. She'd worked on the inventory problem over the past few nights until the wee hours of the morning. She appreciated Sergeant Clark and Lieutenant Milton keeping an eye on her and running interference with any curious onlookers.

She'd pulled her chair over to the railing of the balcony settling in to soak up the rays of the afternoon sun. Closing her eyes her thoughts once again rushed back to the missing morphine. She thought about all the people who worked in the infirmary and the personnel with access to the supply room and kept drawing a blank for suspects.

Sighing heavily with frustration Jennifer arched her neck back letting the heat of the afternoon warm her face. It just didn't make any sense to her and that was the maddening part of it all. The Daedalus was due in a week with new supplies for the infirmary and she was determined to have this all sorted out by then no matter what. But it wasn't any closer to resolution than the last time they were docked in Atlantis.

"Penny for your thoughts," Sheppard said as he pulled up a chair beside Jennifer.

"You startled me!" Jennifer squealed as she sucked in a quick breath. "Sorry, I was … somewhere else."

"Still working on the inventory problems I take it," Sheppard answered frowning. "Actually, that's why I'm here. Wanted to see how our investigation is going."

"Sherlock Holmes I'm not. I'm either really bad at figuring out puzzles, or this problem is blatantly obvious and I'm just making excuses for someone on my staff," Jennifer confessed.

"The latter gets my vote," Sheppard said trying to be reassuring. "I've seen you work on this from every direction possible but at the end of the day good people can make poor decisions. A room full of unguarded drugs is a pretty big temptation, Doc."

"I know. Just wish it'd been missing weapons from the armory. Then I could be encouraging you right now instead of feeling like I've failed my staff," Jennifer mumbled.

"You've got nothing to feel bad about, Doc. You've gone the extra mile, now it's time to sit down with Colonel Carter and come up with a game plan."

"You're right but could we include Rodney in the meeting?" Jennifer asked. "I'd like to ask him to set up some passwords on my computer system to limit access. That would greatly help with the tracking."

* * *

Colonel Sheppard scheduled a conference with Colonel Carter, Rodney and Dr. Keller to discuss the inventory problem and the appropriate actions to be taken.

"Well, human nature being what it is, I guess this was bound to happen eventually. I'm actually surprised we haven't seen this problem sooner," Colonel Carter concluded after reviewing all the evidence. "Dr. Keller, do you have any idea who's behind all this?"

"No Colonel and believe me I've racked my brain thinking of anyone who could be stealing and I come up empty every time I try to figure this out," she explained frowning. "Rodney, I was hoping you could put a password on my database. If I didn't have so many people changing the inventory then it would be easier to track."

"That'd be easy enough to do. I've been saying all along the system needs tighter security," Rodney replied. "I'll work with you on that tomorrow."

"Let's tighten up the holes in the system and see if that takes care of the problem. It wouldn't hurt to change the locks on the supply room and limit who gets a new key," Carter instructed.

"I agree, the security within the infirmary has gotten pretty lax," Jennifer concured. "I just never thought we'd have a problem … I have a wonderful staff I trust completely."

"Maybe we're dealing with someone outside your staff," Sheppard offered.

"I'll leave the investigation to you and Colonel Sheppard but please keep me in the loop and I'd appreciate weekly status reports until this problem is resolved," Carter concluded as she handed all the data back to Dr. Keller.

Jennifer collected all her files and stood to leave.

"Before you go Jennifer, Major Lorne and Teyla are on M4P-266 working on trade agreements. It seems that one of the delegates has a family member in need of medical assistance. I'll need someone from your staff to leave for the planet right away and assess the situation," Carter explained.

"I'll be happy to go. Just give me a few minutes to get my supplies together."

"Colonel Sheppard, could you please assign someone to escort Dr. Keller," Carter instructed.

"Not a problem, I'll take her," Sheppard offered knowing he had nothing pressing planned for the rest of the day. Sheppard maintained a short list in his head of personnel he trusted to escort Dr. Keller on her off world missions. The Doc had a habit of finding trouble. Right now he was the best choice since Ronon was busy with training sessions and Lorne's team was already on the planet. Besides, he'd enjoy the distraction.

"Sounds good, be back in the gate room in 30 minutes," Carter said as she moved toward the door.

* * *

Sheppard and Jennifer walked along the path to the town carrying an abundance of medical supplies. Thank goodness it was a short distance or they may have needed extra hands to transport all the equipment.

"Sorry, Colonel. I tend to over pack when I'm uncertain what I'll need," Jennifer apologized as Sheppard shifted his load. "I probably should've asked for better information before packing."

"Don't worry, Doc. We're not that far from the town." Sheppard assured her.

"I must admit I'm very thankful you're my escort today," Jennifer said with relief in her voice. "This is my first time off world since my encounter with the Bola Kai and I'm still a bit nervous."

"How are your training sessions going with Ronon," Sheppard asked.

"He's a very patient man," Jennifer answered laughing. "I'm very thankful he hasn't washed his hands of me. Self-defense is a lot harder than it looks but I'm determined to learn. I'm tired of being a liability when I walk through the gate," she added with a large measure of determination.

"You know, Doc, the first duty of an escort is protection so don't beat yourself up over not being as trained as the Marines. Let us keep you safe though it wouldn't hurt to train as though we weren't around … that way you can protect yourself when you're all alone and trying to grab for that last piece of chocolate cake in the mess hall."

"I can just see Rodney and me going toe to toe over the last of the blue Jell-O," Jennifer added laughing uncontrollably. "Great … now I'll have this image in my head at my next sparing session," she giggled.

"Seriously Doc, I hope you keep with the training sessions even after the basics. It can be dangerous out here and I want to see you stay in one piece."

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?" Jennifer asked as she reflected on her own situation. "I mean, do you ever question your decision to come?"

"No, can't say I have. Actually, I haven't given it a whole lot of thought," Sheppard answered. "Do you question yourself?"

"No, and that's the amazing thing. I've never questioned or regretted my decision to come but it's so far out of my comfort zone," Jennifer explained. "I can't imagine being anywhere else."

"I know what you mean. Can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be either," John agreed.

"Maybe that means we're both nuts," Jennifer laughed.

"Did you leave a lot of family behind?" Sheppard asked wanting to know more about the young doctor.

"It's just me. My dad died last year. We were really close so it's been a hard year. He used to think I was overseas working in some top secret facility," Jennifer shared, thinking about how much she missed her dad. "How about you Colonel, did you leave a big family behind?"

"No … I have a brother and there's my dad. We aren't a close family so my taking off for parts unknown wasn't anything new to them. They're both consumed with the business world and can't understand why I wasted my life with the military," Sheppard confessed wondering why he was sharing so much of his personal life.

"I'm sure they'd be very proud of you if they knew the important work you were doing," Jennifer expressed, thankful he was a part of Atlantis.

"You've never met my family," Sheppard smirked.

"Do you get to see them very often?"

"No, thank goodness," Sheppard uttered rolling his eyes. "The last time I was home things didn't go so well. I haven't been back since," he explained frowning.

"Atlantis has become my home now that my family's gone," Jennifer shared deep in thought.

"Well, I consider you part of my family … so there, you're not alone anymore," Sheppard declared smiling.

"Thanks, Colonel," Jennifer mumbled self-consciously not knowing what else to say. She knew he had no idea how important that was to her and it left her speechless. Maybe when they'd gotten to know each other better she'd share her feelings but for now it comforted her beyond words.

"Well, here we are," Sheppard exclaimed as they rounded the bend in the path arriving at the settlement.

"Sergeant Rains, this is Sheppard. Please respond," Sheppard called as he set the equipment down.

"Colonel, this is Rains," the Sergeant replied.

"Rains, I've got Dr. Keller with me at the edge of the town. Can you come escort us to the patient?" Sheppard requested.

* * *

Dr. Keller unpacked her equipment preparing to examine her patient. Delegate Adair had excused himself from the negotiations in order to meet the doctor and attend to anything she might need for her exam. Adair was extremely relieved to see that Atlantis had sent a female doctor to tend to his wife.

Jennifer spent quite a bit of time just getting to know the patient, Ramena, and find out what her normal routine might be. This usually helped with the diagnosis process.

Sheppard realized that this could take some time and since her husband was at the home he decided to conduct a security patrol of the town. It never hurt to get a lay of the land in a new environment.

Dr. Keller started taking Ramena's vital signs and giving her an exam. She had a suspicion that this was probably a rather severe urinary tract infection but wanted to rule out a few other possibilities first.

After seeing the rapport between his wife and the doctor, Adair excused himself to return to the negotiations. He informed Dr. Keller that Colonel Sheppard would be back shortly and left the women talking quietly together in the bedroom.

After the exam, Jennifer prescribed a strong course of oral antibiotics starting the treatment off with an injection. She also gave Ramena some pain medication to help with the discomfort. As the woman drifted off to sleep Jennifer moved her supplies and equipment to the other room to wait for Sheppard to finish his rounds. After quietly closing the bedroom door, she turned running into a man standing in the room.

"Oh! You startled me," Jennifer shrieked, jumping back. "Are you here to see Mr. Adair? I'm sorry but you just missed him," she explained while trying to walk around him.

"I'm here to see you. Are you the healer from Atlantis?"

"Yes," Jennifer felt very uncomfortable around the man and hoped Sheppard would return quickly.

"I need you come with me. My son is hurt and needs a healer," he hurriedly explained.

"I'll be happy to go with you as soon as Colonel Sheppard returns," she replied firmly.

"My son can't wait that long, I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me now," the man said as he grabbed her arm pulling his gun out for persuasion. "If you scream or try to get away you won't live to see Atlantis again. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," Jennifer quietly replied.

"If you come without a fuss I won't tie you up, but one way or another you're coming with me." He turned Jennifer around pushing her toward the door. Hesitating, he peered out to see if the street was clear. Her captor, Miruk, signaled his brother, Jared who was keeping watch across the street then waited for him to join them in the house.

"Grab her stuff," Miruk ordered Jared pointing to her duffle bags in the middle of the room.

The two men quickly made their escape out the front door and around the side of the house pulling Jennifer along with them. From there they ran for the woods behind the town and disappeared from sight.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. _

_**A/N**__: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

_

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Chapter 7

Miruk dragged Jennifer further into the woods never taking his gun from her side. Jared followed carrying Jennifer's medical bags. When they were a sufficient distance from the town Miruk stopped, pulling the dirty scarf from around his neck he blindfolded Jennifer wanting to keep her confused and disoriented. He knew there'd be no mercy if the Lanteans caught up with them and all he could think about was his son lying in their camp bleeding to death. He had to get the healer to him at all costs.

Miruk was the head of a small resistance group that disagreed with the governing body on this world. More and more of their freedoms were taken away each year. Last year the government imposed strict rules on travel through the Stargate. When Miruk's wife had become gravely ill, he'd petitioned the local officials to allow him to take his wife to another planet, to a healer with more experience. His request was denied and shortly after his wife had died. That's when Miruk broke away and began gathering a small army in the woods above the town. Losing his wife just about killed him … he wouldn't lose his son too.

After stumbling along for over an hour, Miruk finally removed Jennifer's blindfold knowing she wouldn't be able to find her way back. They'd be able to make much better time now.

As the landscape grew denser, Miruk handed his gun to his brother, instructing him to keep it pointed at the healer. He then began making his own trail through the thick brush with his machete.

"Excuse me," Jennifer said trying to gain Miruk's attention.

"Be quiet, " Jared hissed.

"Please, can you just tell me about the injury so I'll know what to expect," she asked hoping for more information.

"You'll see soon enough," Jared barked. "Now shut up and keep walking."

"But if I know what I'm dealing with I can work much faster," Jennifer tried to reason with the man.

Jared raised his hand to strike her for talking when Miruk stepped between them. He scowled at Jared and motioned for him to take the lead.

"The boy is 17, been shot in his gut. He's lost a lot of blood," Miruk answered.

"How long ago?" Jennifer asked, mentally planning for the boy's treatment when they reached the camp.

"Close to five hours ago," Miruk estimated.

"How'd it happen?" Jennifer asked.

"None of your concern. Just patch him up so he can travel. Do it quickly and you might just live."

Jennifer began formulating a list of instruments and medications she'd need, thankful she'd packed most of her infirmary in her duffle bags. All the while she kept praying for Colonel Sheppard to hurry.

* * *

Sheppard finished his rounds of the village heading back to Adair's house. The town seemed quiet with nothing unusual to report. John was looking forward to a leisurely lunch with Jennifer out on the porch he'd spotted at Adair's.

Walking into the house he knew something was wrong immediately. Sheppard quietly opened the bedroom door to see Ramena sound asleep. Nothing seemed out of place although he couldn't find Jennifer or her medical equipment. Something was really wrong.

"Major Lorne, this is Sheppard, please respond."

Lorne excused himself from the back of the room and slipped into the hall.

"This is Lorne," he answered.

"Major, I need you and Teyla to meet me at Delegate Adair's house and bring Adair with you," John ordered.

"Right away, Sir," Lorne quickly slipped back into the room, making eye contact with Teyla, he nodded toward the hallway.

"Major, is everything alright," Teyla inquired as she entered the hall.

"Sheppard wants us back at Adair's house. I need you to pull Adair out of the meeting and join us at his house."

"We will be right behind you, Major," Teyla answered as she slipped back into the room.

Delegate Adair and Teyla quickly caught up with Major Lorne arriving at the house within minutes of Sheppard's call.

"Adair, I need you to look around and tell me if anything looks out of place," Sheppard instructed growing more and more agitated with the situation.

"Everything looks fine … what's going on … is my wife okay?" Adair asked frantically as he moved toward the bedroom door.

"She's sleeping," John answered blocking the doorway. "Dr. Keller is missing. Do you have any idea where she might've gone?" Sheppard asked urgently.

"No, no idea … maybe she went home."

Sheppard stepped aside allowing Adair to go to his wife. Walking over to his team he began giving orders.

"Lorne, have Sergeant Rains and Lt. Booker secure the gate. Rains can radio Atlantis and have them send backup," Sheppard ordered. He filled them in on what little he knew, frustrated at the time they were losing. He needed to wait for Ronon but couldn't handle the thought of Jennifer out there somewhere waiting for rescue. The minutes were ticking away and he felt they didn't have much time.

* * *

As soon as the wormhole stabilized, Rains entered his IDC requesting Colonel Carter.

"Carter here," Samantha said as soon as she entered the control room.

"Colonel, Dr. Keller is missing and we need immediate back up," Rains reported.

"Sergeant, let us know what you need," Colonel Carter responded. She turned to Chuck and ordered him to radio Ronon and McKay. Since both men were in the mess hall they were able to make it to the control room before the conversation was over.

"Colonel Sheppard needs Ronon and McKay here ASAP and another team to help with the search," Rains relayed the orders.

"We'll send SGA-6 through as soon as they gear up. Ronon and McKay will be through immediately. Sergeant, I'd like a report in one hour," Carter instructed.

"Yes, Ma'am," Rains answered.

"Carter out." Samantha turned to Ronon and McKay explaining that Dr. Keller was missing. Both men ran from the control room and were back in five minutes to walk through the gate.

* * *

Miruk and his brother moved Jennifer along the trail increasing their speed as the daylight waned. She tried to memorize her surroundings in hopes she'd be able to get away from her captors at some point. Soon they came out of the thick brush onto a well-worn path that ran along a steep cliff. She could hear a river in the distance somewhere below. Not being especially fond of heights, Jennifer hugged the side of the hill as they trudged along.

They'd only been on the path for a short distance before Jennifer started hearing dogs barking in the distance. Rounding a bend in the trail the camp opened up before them.

Jen noted several angry dogs inside a makeshift holding pen as they entered the compound. It was clear the animals were positioned to sound an alarm should anyone attempt to enter the camp. Miruk yelled a command to the animals and their barks turned to whimpers as they tried to quiet down.

The animals were not actually dogs but a similar animal that they'd come upon on several other worlds. They were about the size of a small German Sheppard but a lot meaner, definitely not your average lap dog.

Dr. Keller was led immediately to the injured boy who lay on his bedroll in a tent across the compound. Miruk opened the tent flap for Jennifer and Jared entered right behind carrying her duffle bags. As soon as she crossed the threshold Dr. Keller slipped into "doctor" mode and began barking orders at her captors.

"Put my supplies over there," she ordered Jared. "I will need more light in here. Can you find me a table to put him on up off the floor?" Jennifer asked Miruk as he looked on.

She dropped to her knees beside the bleeding boy and began to examine the damage to his young body. It was evident the boy would need surgery to remove the bullet. Jennifer worried about infection setting in under such primitive conditions.

Dr. Keller spent the next couple of hours working on the boy with several men looking on. Occasionally she enlisted the help of her captors when she needed an extra pair of hands. Eventually, she finished sewing him up and administered more fluids and antibiotics. Now the waiting began. As long as the boy was breathing she knew they'd keep her around.

* * *

Sheppard pulled Adair out of the bedroom and grilled him for any ideas he might have concerning Jennifer's where abouts. The delegate reluctantly explained about the rebels up in the hills above the town. Seems he may have heard rumors about a skirmish between the town security officers and the rebels earlier in the day. He voiced the possibility these men may've taken Dr. Keller to treat their wounded. It took all the strength Sheppard had not to reach out and choke the man.

Colonel Sheppard quickly organized the men once Ronon and McKay arrived. He instructed Major Lorne to have his men search the town and question the townspeople. SGA-6 would guard the gate and search the surrounding area as soon as they arrived. Sheppard would take his team and see if they could pick up her trail. Ronon was the best tracker in two galaxies and they were counting on him today. Time was working against them and the sun was about to set … they needed to move quickly.

* * *

Jennifer kept her vigil beside the boy checking his vitals every quarter hour. He was holding his own but very weak from the loss of so much blood. So far there was no fever, which Jennifer was very thankful for. It had been over an hour since she'd finished the surgery and she was beginning to worry about what they'd planned for her future.

"How's he doing?" Miruk asked as he entered the tent.

"He's stable and his vitals look good. He's lost a blood, which will slow his healing some but there's no fever, that's a good sign," Jennifer explained.

Two men entered the tent setting a makeshift stretcher down beside the boy before moving off to pack up all the contents.

"What are you doing? You can't possibly be thinking of moving him," Jennifer exclaimed turning to face Miruk.

"We have to move our camp. Your people will be looking for you soon."

"What do you plan to do with me?" Jennifer asked.

"I haven't decided yet. No one knows we took you and I'd like to keep it that way." Miruk didn't want to kill her not after she'd saved his son's life but it was probably the wisest thing to do at this point. "I have a guard posted outside so don't do anything foolish."

Miruk left to supervise the men packing up the camp. He still couldn't decide what to do with the doctor but he figured he'd probably have one of his men kill her and bury her where she couldn't be found. That way the authorities couldn't blame him or his men for her disappearance.

Jennifer quietly rummaged through her equipment looking for something sharp. She finally settled on her scalpel. Moving quietly to the far corner she started making an incision in the wall of the tent. Jennifer was convinced the only rational decision Miruk was apt to make would include her demise. She wouldn't accept that … not without a fight.

It took about thirty minutes but Jennifer finally had a slit cut in the tent large enough for her to fit through. She peeked out to be sure there was no one guarding the rear of the camp then slipped out. She quickly made her way into the woods behind the tent moving as fast as possible.

* * *

Ronon picked up a fresh trail in the woods behind Adair's house. Taking point on the search, he took off hoping to make good time before dark.

Rodney found life signs in many directions on the planet making it hard to pinpoint a specific location. Colonel Sheppard decided to have him gate back to Atlantis and return with a jumper making it possible to search more area from the air. Sheppard and Teyla fanned out to the rear of Ronon making a wider sweep as they followed him deeper into the woods.

"Sheppard," Ronon radioed.

"Go ahead," Sheppard answered hopefully.

"Tracks are moving north through the brush. I think it's them,"

"Copy that. Teyla and I are right behind you. We'll continue to sweep the area following you. Keep in touch. Sheppard out."

* * *

Jennifer ran as quietly as possible fearful the dogs would hear her and sound an alarm with their constant barking. She moved in a wide circle north of the camp above their kennel and then dropped back down toward the path. She kept her mind focused on putting one foot in front of the other and moving toward the town. Or what she hoped was the town.

Miruk walked into the tent with two of his men to get his son situated on the stretcher and ready to be moved. Finding Jennifer gone, the man became enraged.

"We don't have time for this," Miruk yelled at his men. "We have to leave, the Lanteans will be here soon." He wanted to send someone after her but he needed everyone's help if they were going to get out of here unseen.

"Here, take this to the animals then release them. Maybe they'll do the killing for us," Miruk ordered handing over Jennifer's jacket for scent. Miruk had trained the animals himself to search and destroy. He was confident they'd take care of her quickly.

"Yes sir," the men answered turning to leave.

Jennifer made good time already finding the well-worn path leading away from the camp. She moved as quickly as possible hoping to make it past the cliff area before dark. Just as she began to entertain thoughts of success, she faintly heard barking that froze her blood.

"Oh no … no, no, no, not the dogs. This can't be happening!" Jennifer said out loud to herself.

Slowing her pace, she began looking around for something to use to defend herself should the dogs be heading in her direction. She'd just entered the narrow path along the ravine. Walking closer to the edge of the cliff, Jennifer spotted some thick branches she could use as a club. She chose one that was easy to swing and continued to jog along the path hoping she wouldn't have to use the weapon.

The light was beginning to wane causing Jennifer to slow her pace, as the shadows grew longer. Soon the setting sun slowed her progress to a fast walk all the while the barking grew louder. Jennifer tried to review the self-defense moves Ronon taught her in the few sessions she'd had with her teacher, but fear had a firm grip on her emotions. Hopefully she'd get away from the cliffs before the dogs caught up.

Jennifer's fears became real as the dogs approached snarling and barking backing her up against the wall of the ravine. She began yelling at the animals hoping to intimidate and cause them to back down. It seemed to work for a moment but then the lead dog charged at her. Jennifer raised her club hitting the leader firmly in the head. The blow knocked the dog to the ground but he recovered quickly coming at her again. Jennifer was able to stop him with a hard kick to the dog's soft belly. She followed the kick with another blow to the head putting the dog down. Two other animals charged her at the same time. Jennifer swung her club and blocked their advances as much as possible but they quickly overwhelmed her. One of the dogs latched down on her arm sinking his teeth in deep. She fought the animals but the path was narrow and soon she was struggling to keep her footing.

Jennifer swung her arm pounding on the dog's head repeatedly trying to get him to release her arm but he was just as determined to hold on. She kept backing toward the edge of the path fighting with both dogs defending herself as much as possible. With one dog holding on to her arm and the other one biting at her legs, she finally lost her footing falling over the cliff.

Jennifer screamed as her body began falling. She fell about fifteen feet to the hillside below then began tumbling over rocks and the uneven ground until she finally settled against a fallen tree halfway down the hill. Her body shouted in pain as she slipped into unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_**A/N**__: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

_**A big thank you to all of you who are faithfully reading… I'm enjoying all the interest in the story and especially appreciate all the wonderful reviews! All of your input is extremely encouraging!**_

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Chapter 8

Colonel Sheppard was becoming more and more agitated as the minutes slipped by. It would soon be dark and Jennifer was still out there somewhere. Their friendship had deepened over the past months causing John to lead the search with an increased urgency.

"Major Lorne, this is Sheppard, please report," Sheppard was hoping for something positive.

"Sir, we've interviewed most of the villagers with nothing of use. My team has scoured the woods around the town but they've found nothing out of the ordinary here either. SGA-6 has checked in with pretty much the same report. The gate remains clear as well as the surrounding area," Lorne reported disappointed they hadn't found her yet.

"Thank you, Major. Keep your eyes and ears open, she's still out here," Sheppard answered.

"McKay, what's your status," Sheppard radioed.

"I did a quick sweep of the area and just now found what looks like the rebel camp. Or rather, what used to be their camp. I'm not detecting any life signs," McKay reported from the jumper.

"Set down and look around but keep in radio contact," Sheppard ordered.

"Ronon, where are you, buddy?" Sheppard asked still hoping for some good news.

"Nothing yet but there's a pretty good trail," Ronon reported. "I can hear roakas in the distance."

"You hear what?" Sheppard asked.

"Mean animal. A lot like your dogs," Ronon answered worriedly. Roakas could be very vicious and not the kind of animal you want to run across in the wilderness. If Jennifer was out here he hoped she wasn't anywhere near the animals.

"Keep me posted on the dogs. Sheppard out."

The terrain had changed as it sloped toward the gorge forcing Teyla and Sheppard to cover less ground. The two were now working together as they neared Ronon's location.

Ronon could hear the dogs getting louder as he entered the narrow path above the ravine. It was slower going now that the sun had set. He was going to need a flashlight pretty soon and hoped this world had a moon or two to help with the search once it was too dark to see.

"Sheppard this is McKay, respond please."

"Go ahead, Rodney," Sheppard answered.

"This looks like the rebel campsite but it's been cleared out. Found some animal pens and the central fire pit still has some burning coals. Otherwise, the camp is empty. They haven't been gone long but it's getting too dark to see through the trees from the jumper."

"Sit tight for a few minutes till we see what's up ahead. We may be close to the camp," Sheppard answered knowing they could take the jumper back to the town if they couldn't find Jennifer in this last stretch.

The evening became very quiet again as the sound of the roakas faded away. At one point Ronon thought he could hear a woman's scream but it was a while ago and he hadn't come across anything or anyone since. It was quiet enough he could hear his own breathing as he pounded along the path.

Ronon reached into his waistband grabbing out a flashlight as he neared something lying on the path.

"Sheppard, come in," Ronon called as he looked over the dead animal.

"Go ahead," Sheppard answered anxiously.

"There's a dead roaka on the path. Looks like it's been clubbed, skull's bashed in. Path's disturbed and there's a lot of blood on the ground," Ronon reported. "I'm going to take a look around."

Ronon knelt down to get a better look at the animal and the markings in the path. He was sure there'd been some sort of struggle but whether or not it involved Jennifer he had no idea. He moved closer to the edge of the path finding more blood. Using the flashlight, Ronon shone it as far down the hill as possible seeing what might have been another animal lying lifeless in the brush at the far end of the drop.

"Sheppard," Ronon called.

"Go ahead," Sheppard answered hoping Ronon had found something but fearful at the same time.

"I'm going to search this hillside by the dead roa ... dog. There's a good drop and then a sloping hillside. You should be here in another twenty or thirty minutes."

"We'll check in with you when we get there. Sheppard out."

Ronon walked up the trail to where the drop was only eight to ten feet then worked his way back to the hillside directly below the dead dog. Soon he came upon the other dog he'd seen with the flashlight finding it dead too.

Ronon worked his way down the hill thinking the scream he'd heard could've been Jennifer. The rough terrain and darkness made it slow going but he was convinced the Doc was down here somewhere and most likely hurt. About half way down the slope he stopped and meticulously swept the area with his flashlight. There … about a hundred feet down the hill in front of him Ronon saw her lying against a fallen log.

Ronon moved as fast as he could covering the distance in a few precious minutes. He reached down checking for a pulse and was rewarded with a strong steady beat. He sat down next to Jennifer and let out the breath he'd been holding as he began to check her for injuries.

"Sheppard, I've got her," Ronon radioed as he continued his exam.

"How is she," Sheppard urgently asked needing to know she was all right.

"She has a pretty big lump on the back of her head and she's unconscious. Lot of blood and bites but it doesn't look like she has any broken bones."

"We'll be there soon. Good work Ronon. Sheppard out."

Major Lorne, as well as the whole search party, had been monitoring the radio calls. There was a collective sigh of relief as Ronon reported finding the Doc.

"Colonel Sheppard, I'll let Atlantis know she's been found," Lorne said knowing it'd be one less thing John would have to do.

Ronon was checking Jennifer's bite marks when she began to stir. Suddenly she came up swinging, screaming for Ronon and John. Ronon reached around her holding on tight as he pulled her back into his chest.

"Doc, I'm here. You're safe … stop moving. I've got you, you're okay," Ronon continued to reassure her hoping to calm Jen down before releasing her.

Jennifer looked back over her shoulder to be sure it was Ronon. She turned in his arms and crawled into his lap sobbing uncontrollably. "I knew you'd come," Jennifer kept repeating over and over as she clung to Ronon's shirt with a death grip.

"Colonel Sheppard, this is Colonel Caldwell, please respond."

"Colonel Caldwell, this is Sheppard, good to hear your voice," John answered relieved for the added help.

"Colonel Carter informed us of your situation. We're in orbit above your location. Can we be of assistance?" Caldwell asked as his crew worked to locate their tracking devices.

"Your timing is perfect Colonel. Can you locate Ronon and Dr. Keller and have them transported directly to your infirmary?" Sheppard requested. "After I give my people their orders I would appreciate a ride for myself and Teyla."

"Let us know when you're ready Colonel. Caldwell out."

Sheppard had Rodney pick up Lorne and his team before heading for the gate. SGA-6 gated back as soon as the jumper was through. Sheppard's recommendation would be to suspend all trade negotiations with the planet until the civil unrest was taken care of. This would be a very long debriefing once they all got back to Atlantis.

"Daedalus, we are ready for transport," Sheppard said as he and Teyla stood on the path next to the dead dog. This was one story he wasn't sure he wanted to hear. He'd almost lost Jennifer today and knew his feelings were more than the normal concern for other members of this expedition. Jennifer was family now … something he'd think about more once he got back to Atlantis.

Ronon paced outside the curtained exam area waiting to hear news on Jennifer's condition. The infirmary staff had to practically pry her out of Ronon's arms when they were beamed aboard. Ronon had stayed by her side until she calmed down despite the frowning from the Daedalus staff. She'd been through a lot today and he knew she needed to have her own team with her right now.

"Mr. Dex, you can go in now. Dr. Keller is asking for you." the nurse smiled as she called to him across the room. "You can visit for a few minutes but keep it short, she needs her rest."

Ronon walked in, pulling a chair over to her bed he settled himself for the night. He wasn't about to leave her alone and felt pretty confident no one would challenge him.

"Hey Doc, how are you feeling?" Ronon asked as she opened her eyes.

"Like I've been chewed up and spit out," she answered laughing softly.

"Kinda looked that way when I found you," he grinned. "Seriously Doc, I found the dead animals … did you do that?"

"Didn't have much of a choice. I don't think I could've done it though without all the things you've taught me," Jennifer whispered as the tears fell down her face.

"Why don't we talk about it tomorrow … try to get some rest." Ronon could tell it was still too overwhelming for her. Tomorrow was soon enough to re-live the whole ordeal.

"Will you stay with me?" Jennifer asked with a strain in her voice. She couldn't bear to be alone … not tonight. She needed her friends to chase away the fears … to keep her safe.

"I'm not going anywhere," Ronon replied as he reached for her hand. "Go to sleep, Doc."

"Thanks, Ronon. Thanks for finding me," Jennifer whispered as her eyes closed.

* * *

Once aboard the Daedalus, Teyla went to sit with Jennifer while Sheppard briefed Colonel Caldwell on the day's events. An hour later he walked into the infirmary to check on Jennifer. Finding her doctor, Sheppard was given the run down on her condition.

"Colonel Sheppard, Dr. Keller is resting at the moment. She has some pretty serious bites on her arms and legs but they should heal in time. We've stitched up a half dozen cuts and she has quite a bit of bruising. She also suffered a rather serious concussion from the fall, which we are monitoring closely. Bottom line, she will be in quite a bit of pain for the next week but no permanent damage, which is pretty miraculous from what I've heard of her ordeal."

"Thanks doctor, appreciate all you're doing for our CMO."

"You can see her for a few minutes if you'd like and then I'll have to ask you all to leave so she can get some rest," the doctor explained.

"Sorry, Doc, we'll be staying with her through the night. We'll try to stay out of your way but she's a part of my team and we stay together till we hit Atlantis," Sheppard explained trying not to ruffle his feathers.

"Very well, Colonel. I'll notify my staff," the doctor answered. He knew the bonds were tight with the personnel on Atlantis and this was one battle he knew he'd lose.

Sheppard quietly walked up to Jennifer's bed getting his first look at her injuries. His expression was full of concern and anger. He felt guilty that he hadn't taken better care of her to begin with. There was no one to blame but himself for her kidnapping and he was having a hard time dealing with it. He hoped she'd forgive him before the whole ordeal was over.

Teyla watched the emotions play across John's face recognizing something new. This was something more than concern. She thought she saw signs of something deeper. Teyla wondered if Jennifer was becoming more than a friend even if John didn't recognize it himself.

"Why don't you two get something to eat," Sheppard ordered knowing they wouldn't leave on their own. "I'll sit with her for a while."

Ronon and Teyla nodded leaving Sheppard to take up the vigil in Ronon's chair. A young Lieutenant approached later in the night with room assignments and key cards for the Atlantis team. Sheppard accepted the keys and thanked the man knowing they'd probably only use the rooms to shower and nap in until they reached home. Most of their time would be spent in the infirmary.

Sometime later a nurse entered to take vitals and wake Jennifer up. Because of the concussion it was necessary to wake her every few hours.

"Colonel, I'll have to ask you to leave while we check on Dr. Keller," the nurse said firmly.

"I'll stand back here out of the way till you're through," he answered leaving no room for argument. Sheppard understood they were invading Daedalus territory but he was not about to leave.

After taking her vitals, the nurse proceeded to wake her patient. Jennifer opened her eyes panicking at the unfamiliar surroundings. She began thrashing around and slapping the nurse's hands away as she was trying to restrain her.

"Where's Ronon?" Jennifer asked urgently.

"I'm here, Jennifer," Sheppard said moving around to the head of the bed so she could see him.

Jennifer reached for Sheppard's hand trying to calm her fears.

"I'm sorry I'm so needy," Jennifer said looking at the nurse. "I don't mean to be rude."

The nurse softened, smiling at Jennifer.

"Colonel, I'll leave you for the night. Please see that she wakes every couple of hours and call me if you need anything," she said gathering her things. It was heart warming to see such devotion and she knew they'd keep a close eye on Dr. Keller.

It was five days before the Daedalus reached Atlantis and they were all ready to be home. Teyla, Ronon and Sheppard took turns keeping Doc company, checking to be sure she was doing okay. They occupied their time with sparring matches, card games and the occasional movie while Jennifer spent the bulk of the journey sleeping. She was determined to heal quickly not wanting to spend too much time in her own infirmary.

In no time they found themselves beaming down into the city.

"Welcome home everyone," Colonel Carter greeted as the team stood in the gate room. "Good to have you home."

"Thank you Colonel, I speak for everyone when I say … good to be home," Sheppard answered grinning.

"I take it Dr. Keller was beamed directly to the infirmary?" Samantha inquired.

"Yes Ma'am," Sheppard answered. "Kicking and screaming I might add."

"Get something to eat and we'll debrief in two hours," Carter instructed leaving for the infirmary.

As she entered the infirmary Carter was greeted by Dr. Cole who pointed her toward the back corner.

"Welcome home, Jennifer," Samantha said squeezing her friend's shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I don't need to be in my own infirmary," she answered scowling at the nurses who were getting her settled in. "Colonel, when do you plan on doing the debriefing?"

"I'll meet with the rest of the teams in a couple of hours but we will do your portion as soon as you're feeling better," Samantha explained knowing it would be a long and rough meeting.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to attend and get this over with. I think I'll be fine if I take some pain meds before I come. I promise to return to the infirmary without complaining afterwards."

"If you can get Dr. Cole to sign off on it then we'll do it all in one sitting," Colonel Carter agreed.

* * *

The debriefing was long and more emotional than expected. Jennifer gave details of her escape and attack, which they all wanted to know about as hard as it was to hear. She worried about Colonel Sheppard's stoic demeanor through her whole story and feared he was blaming himself. When the time was right she'd have a heart to heart with the Colonel and clear the air.

As everyone filed out of the conference room Jennifer briefly put her head down on the table closing her eyes for a moment. She was thankful the whole briefing was over and right now her bed in the infirmary was sounding like an oasis. She just needed to find the strength to get up and start walking in that direction.

Colonel Carter was speaking with Sheppard after the meeting and noticed Jennifer resting on the table. Looking around the room, Samantha caught Lorne's attention and nodded toward Jennifer. He acknowledged, heading over to help the young CMO back to her room.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty, time to wake up and get home before you turn into a pumpkin," Lorne said as he squeezed her shoulders.

"Just a few more minutes," she begged.

Ronon walked over nodding to Lorne that he would help.

"Come on your chariot is here," Evan whispered leaning down to help her to her feet.

Ronon scooped her up heading out of the room. "Ronon, I can walk," Jennifer insisted.

"Hush, you couldn't make it to the corner if you had to," he challenged with a small grin.

"Just wait till the next time you come into the infirmary. Then you'll be on my turf," she quietly answered as she put her head on his shoulder and snuggled into his arms.

Ronon carried the sleeping doctor into the infirmary. Laying her on her bed he removed her shoes and tucked her in. Like every one in Atlantis he was thankful to have his friend back home in one piece. Healing might take some time but she had her family to help get her through it.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

_

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_

Chapter 9

Sheppard sat at his desk staring at the mission report. He'd been working on it all day trying to look at it objectively, distance himself from the facts. He knew he'd never be unprejudiced on this one. Jennifer had been hurt on his watch and there was no way to take it back.

No do overs. No re-winding to the point when he left her alone in the village. No taking back her injuries or fear. He'd failed her and he couldn't get beyond it.

Roughly shoving the paperwork aside, he left his office to wander the City. It was late at night … perfect time to do his nightly hunt for her. Jennifer was having bad dreams again, this time filled with vicious dogs and men with guns. The past two nights he'd found her on the couch in the mess hall. Evidently, her demons didn't like lighted public places.

Passing by one of the laundry facilities, he grabbed a blanket from one of the shelves and headed toward the dining room. At first glance he didn't see her on the couch and sighed with relief assuming she was sleeping peacefully in her quarters. But on closer inspection he saw her feet just barely sticking out from the far side of the couch. "It must be a bad one," he thought grimacing to himself.

Dreams had become a common bond between them and no longer required lengthy conversation or twenty questions. Sheppard wasn't good administering comfort but it was different with Doc. He instinctively knew what she needed and it didn't feel awkward.

He slid down the wall sitting next to Jen. Tucking the blanket around her and under her toes, he settled his arm around her shoulders pulling her to his side.

"Dogs or Wraith," Sheppard asked, tucking her head under his chin.

"Stupid dogs. Last night it was Wraith," Jennifer sniffled. "Why can't I stop crying all the time? Since we got back it seems like I can't stop the flow."

"It's only been a couple of weeks, Doc. Things will get better … you need to give yourself time. Promise me you'll take things easy for a while," Sheppard asked knowing she was a workaholic.

"I will if you promise to stop beating yourself up over the whole mission. This wasn't your fault, John," Jennifer stated firmly. "Everyone did their part. I stayed alive and you guys found me. I think that's the description of a perfect mission," Jennifer lectured trying to stifle a yawn.

"I'll try. Now go to sleep, Jen. We'll both work on it more tomorrow," Sheppard said leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. "Sweet dreams, Doc."

* * *

Dr. Keller set aside her morning to once again work on the inventory issue. It'd been a few weeks since she'd last had time to look at it. She checked out a few key items, order sheets, data base summaries and her invoices from the Daedalus. After a few hours she realized she still had a problem. It was time to try again to have that meeting with Rodney and make some changes to the database. She also needed to contact maintenance and have them change the lock on the supply room door.

Jennifer wandered through the science lab looking for Dr. McKay.

"Dr. Kusanagi, have you seen Dr. McKay today?" Jennifer inquired.

"Sorry Dr. Keller, you just missed him. He decided to take an early lunch … something about his blood sugar levels," Miko replied rolling her eyes.

"Thanks," Jennifer chuckled softly. "I'll check the mess hall."

Grabbing an early lunch herself, Jennifer joined Rodney at his table.

"Good morning, Rodney," Jennifer greeted as she took a seat.

"Jennifer … you're here awfully early," McKay answered barely looking up from his data pad.

"Actually, I was looking for you and decided to eat at the same time … two birds with one stone and all that," she answered smiling.

"What do you need?" Rodney asked, curiosity pushing the data pad aside.

"I was hoping you'd have time to put some stricter security protocols on the drug inventory database," Jennifer asked.

"Yes, Yes … not a problem. I can do that this afternoon," he said while typing on his data pad again. "What kind of restrictions did you want?"

"I'd like it to be read only for everyone except myself and Marie. I'm hoping restricting it to just the two of us will help me track the supplies," she explained.

"I'll do that when I get back to my lab," Rodney confirmed. "Gotta go," he announced quickly leaving the dining hall.

Jennifer finished her lunch as she mentally checked Rodney off her list of things to do. She'd email the maintenance department when she got back to her office about changing the lock. She was curious to see if the stricter security measures would make a difference.

"Hey, Doc," Ronon nodded as he took a seat across from her. "You okay? I don't usually see you here this early in the day."

"I just finished talking with Rodney about some computer issues and thought I'd grab some lunch at the same time." "You eating alone today?" she asked.

"I have an early training session," Ronon replied digging into his lunch. "Are you ready to start our sessions again?"

"More than ready. I'll check with Dr. Cole but the sooner the better," Jennifer answered eagerly.

"How 'bout tonight after dinner?" Ronon offered.

"Sounds good, that will give me time to get caught up a bit on all my paperwork," Jennifer said, looking forward to a good workout. "I guess I'd better get back to work. See you tonight," Jennifer said as she collected her trash.

"See you tonight, Doc."

* * *

"Dr. Keller, do you have a few minutes?" Marie asked sticking her head in the doorway.

"Sure Marie, I thought this was your day off?" Jennifer replied setting her files aside.

"It is but I've been working on the fundraiser and wanted to show you some stuff if you have the time. Marie smiled holding up the folders in her arms.

"Let's see it," Jennifer said making room on her desk.

Marie quickly took a seat spreading out drawings and catalog pictures. Jennifer was very impressed with all the planning and organization that'd gone into the project. The committee had drawings of their vision for the Recreation Room showing a pool table, ping-pong table and air hockey occupying one side of the room with a gathering area and kitchen on the other side. There were smaller tables for board and card games and even a large table for working jigsaw puzzles. The room was very well thought out and Jennifer knew it'd be very beneficial to morale on the base.

Next Marie showed her plans for the fundraiser. There'd be long tables against the back wall holding all the silent auction items. They would scatter all the small dining tables in a semi-circle around the room with the dance floor taking up most of the middle. Along the north wall would be the catering tables with the D.J. located on the opposite side of the room.

"Here's the menu," Marie said placing the chart in front of Jennifer. "I'm sure we'll be adding to it so if you have any ideas please write them down and I'll collect it from you before the big night."

"Marie, I'm really impressed!" Jennifer marveled. "Your committee seems to have thought of everything."

"Believe me, there's a lot of details you don't even think about until you're in the thick of all the planning," Marie said. "We still have a lot to do which reminds me, have you thought anymore about our silent auction?" Marie asked hopefully.

"I've been thinking about that a lot since our last meeting and came up with one idea. What do you think of auctioning off a home cooked meal? I've checked with the kitchen staff and they'd allow me to use the kitchen and their supplies … I've gotten to know the night staff pretty well over the last few months," Jennifer explained chuckling softly.

"Oh my goodness, that would be perfect and I'm sure it would fetch a high bid," Marie exclaimed clapping her hands.

"Don't get too excited. You haven't tasted my cooking," Jen said laughing. "Actually, I can make one or two items pretty well and I'll be sure to finish with some gooey dessert."

"The dessert alone should bring a high bid," the nurse added laughing.

"I do have one question about the big night," Jennifer said tentatively. "Can you explain the whole dance ticket thing?"

"This is one of our best ideas," she said excitedly. "It's sort of a combination of dance cards women had at fancy balls back in the 1800s and the dance tickets soldiers bought at the USO canteens back during the 1940s. We have a dance card for each woman attending the dance and a few days ahead of time we'll be selling tickets. We've set aside a little over an hour in the middle of the evening for the dance cards and we figure there'll be about 12 dances possible in that time frame. At ten dollars a ticket this alone should pay for the game tables," Marie explained beaming.

"Aren't you afraid someone might get their feelings hurt if their dance card doesn't fill up?" Jennifer asked concerned.

"With the man to woman ratio on this base being what it is, I'm sure that won't happen. At this point I'm more worried about some poor scientist missing out on finding an empty slot on anyone's dance card," she said chuckling. "We'll sell tickets clear up to the start of the hour in case we have some empty slots but I really don't think that's going to happen. I've already had guys approach me about buying tickets just from rumors they've heard."

"I see," Jennifer answered grimly thinking about all the strange men she was going to have to put her arms around.

"You'll have nothing to worry about, Dr. Keller, I'm sure your card will fill up long before the dance begins," Marie assured her.

"That's what I'm worried about," she mumbled. "Well, you've done a great job and I'm sure everyone will have a wonderful time," Jennifer said encouragingly. "Keep me informed on your progress," she added as Marie rose to leave.

Jennifer settled back into the pile of paperwork she had in front of her but was soon called away to the infirmary floor. A couple of Marines had been brought in with head lacerations.

"What have we got, Dr. Cole?" Jennifer asked as she approached the men.

"Looks like Ronon is providing us with a little job security," Cole said frowning.

"Why don't you take care of the Sergeant and I'll take the Lieutenant here," Jennifer instructed.

"This way Sergeant," Dr. Cole said pointing toward the empty bed across the room.

"Well, Lieutenant looks like you might need a few stitches. I'll have you fixed up and back to your training session before they finish for the day," Dr. Keller said smiling.

"Please Doc, take your time. I'm in no hurry to get back," the Lieutenant answered scowling. "Our instructor's a scary guy."

"I'm sure it's nothing personal. There're a lot of dangerous things on the other side of the gate, Lt. and you need to be ready for whatever you come across," Jennifer explained. "If it helps any, you won't be put back in the rotation today. I only allow one trip to the infirmary per recruit per day … you have a free pass for the rest of the day," Jennifer said smiling as she patted the Lt. on the back.

As Jennifer finished the last stitch, the scary instructor walked in.

"Hey, Doc, sorry 'bout the extra work," Ronon mumbled as he approached. "They okay?" he asked nodding toward the recruits.

"Minor injuries, they'll both be find," Jennifer reported. "I thought you were going to go easy on the first few sessions?" she asked.

"I was," Ronon answered smirking.

"You're all done, Lieutenant," Jennifer said as she watched his eyes widen at Ronon's remark. "Hang in there, we rarely kill our own," Jennifer added, laughing softly.

The young Lieutenant slid off the bed and was quickly out the door. Jennifer and Ronon looked at each other and started laughing. "You're incorrigible," Jennifer said swatting Ronon on the arm.

"You ready to get some dinner?" Ronon asked.

"I still have a bunch of stuff to get done before our training session. I'll grab something to eat afterwards. I think I'll do much better on an empty stomach," she added.

"I'll meet you in the gym around 1900 hours," Ronon said turning to leave.

"See you then," Jennifer said with a wave.

Jennifer stood watching Ronon leave the infirmary laughing to herself. This was a crazy place she worked in with some pretty amazing people. She hadn't had many friends in her short life but she was making up for it now. And it was worth the wait.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

_

* * *

  
_

Chapter 10

After several weeks of procrastination, Dr. Keller found time to make the final security change in the infirmary hoping to sever the last open access to the drug supply. Jennifer thanked the maintenance worker as she accepted the new keys for the supply room door. One more thing she could cross off her "to do" list. Now it's just a matter of wait and see concerning the missing drugs. Hopefully the tighter security would put a stop to all the pilfering.

Locating Marie, Jennifer gave her one of the new keys asking her to keep it in a safe place. She'd previously informed Marie of the inventory discrepancies and trusted the nurse implicitly with the new keys. Jennifer was tired of the whole mess and hoped it would be over soon … she had more important things to do than track down some opportunistic thief.

The Daedalus was docked on the east pier once again off loading supplies and beaming in new recruits. It seemed like just yesterday Jennifer was beamed into the ship's infirmary after her kidnapping ordeal. Hard to believe it'd actually been almost two months since the dog attack and yet she was still having nightmares. Although the bad dreams were no longer a nightly visitor they still woke her several times a week reminding her how fragile life was in the Pegasus galaxy.

Lately Jennifer had been so busy she'd taken most of her meals on the run or at her desk. Thankfully she'd have some relief in the infirmary with the new medical staff that just arrived. Usually she dreaded new staff orientation but with the promise of fewer hours and more help she was actually looking forward to it.

Colonel Carter crossed the floor of the infirmary finding Dr. Keller in her office.

"Good Morning, Jennifer," Samantha greeted as she entered the office and took a seat. "All ready for the day?"

"Can anyone ever really be ready for "new recruit day"?" she chuckled.

"Jennifer, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," Carter began frowning. "I just found out several of your staff recruits backed out at the last minute. Unfortunately, the SGC didn't have enough time to fill their positions."

"When you say "several" how many are we actually talking about?" Jennifer asked sighing.

"I'm afraid you'll only be getting two doctors and two nurses," Samantha said grimly.

"Colonel, I have two doctors and one nurse scheduled to return on the Daedalus for some much earned leave time," Jennifer complained.

"I know Jennifer, I'm sorry but you'll have to cancel some of the vacation time until we can get more doctors here," she replied apologizing.

"I know it's not your fault but this is so frustrating," Jen growled. "We've been understaffed and overworked for so long I don't have the heart to cancel anyone's vacation. Are there any replacements lined up for the next Daedalus trip?"

"I'm not sure but I'll be happy to check for you. Jennifer, please don't spread yourself too thin. You already put in way too many hours and short staffing yourself will only make things worse. We need you functioning at a hundred percent," Samantha said firmly. Carter worried Jennifer wasn't taking the down time she needed. She'd been through a lot already this year and Samantha knew the damage that could inflict on one's emotional state … she'd been there herself too many times to count.

"I'll take a good look at my staffing schedule for the next couple of months and see if we can make it. I won't make any decisions until I know for sure if we have any personnel coming next trip," Jennifer answered wearily.

"I want to be a part of this decision so please let me know your plans before you send anyone back on the Daedalus. I'll find out if the SGC has any medical personnel waiting in the wings and get back to you tomorrow afternoon," Colonel Carter replied. She reached over squeezing Jennifer's hand as she stood to leave.

Jennifer hadn't felt this discouraged for quite some time. Things just kept piling up on her and she was beginning to feel the strain. A good cry would do wonders but it'd have to wait. The first batch of new recruits was expected any minute.

Fourteen hours later Dr. Keller ushered her last patient out of the infirmary with her customary "Welcome to Atlantis". Looking around she sighed surveying all the clean up that still needed to be done before morning. Hopefully there would be a few support personnel coming with her new doctors and nurses.

Technically, she'd been off duty for several hours. "Too bad I'm not being paid by the hour," she laughed to herself. Jennifer knew she should go get something to eat but her appetite left hours ago. She decided to take a long break and clean up later.

Arriving at her quarters, Jennifer changed her clothes and headed toward the transporter. She hadn't taken any time for herself all week and felt the need for some exercise. Exiting the transporter near the south pier she began a slow jog on one of her favorite circuits along the outer parts of the city.

* * *

Colonel Carter wandered into the mess hall needing a little pick me up. She filled her coffee mug and grabbed a cinnamon roll before sitting down with Rodney, Teyla and Sheppard. The team was enjoying a late dinner together after dealing with recruits all day.

"Colonel Carter, it is good to see you this evening," Teyla said smiling.

"Thank you, it's certainly been a long day," Carter replied.

Ronon and Lorne walked up taking seats across from each other.

"How'd the demonstration go?" Sheppard asked looking at Ronon and his 2IC.

"We wowed them and managed to stay out of the infirmary," Lorne replied grinning.

"Only because you wouldn't let me take some challenges," Ronon grumbled glaring at Lorne.

"Play nice boys," Sheppard said. "You'll get to play with the recruits tomorrow," he added smirking at Ronon.

"Has anyone seen Jennifer lately?" Teyla asked looking around the table.

"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her in the mess hall in weeks," Lorne offered.

"I saw her this morning and she looked tired. Unfortunately, I was the bearer of bad news. She won't be getting the personnel she was hoping for," Samantha explained.

"Well that's not good news," Sheppard grumbled. "I thought she had help coming."

"We had several people back out at the last minute with no time to find replacements," Carter answered. "I'll be working with her tomorrow to hopefully find a solution to the staffing problem."

"I'll find her later and see how she's doing," Sheppard said.

"It's hard to find people willing to sign long contracts," Rodney offered never looking up from his data pad. "The SGC should think about offering a bigger benefits package."

"Well, I for one would like to see Jennifer take more time to rest," Teyla suggested.

"I agree, I'm hoping to find some relief when we go over schedules tomorrow," Carter replied. "Get some rest everyone, tomorrow looks to be another busy day." Samantha smiled as she headed to the coffee dispenser for a refill on her way back to her office.

"Lorne, keep an eye on things … think I'll go find Doc and she how's she doing. I'll be on the radio," Sheppard instructed as he left the mess hall.

Sheppard worked his way through all the usual places he might find Jennifer starting with the infirmary.

"Marie, I was looking for Dr. Keller," Sheppard inquired as he approached the nurse.

"Good evening, Colonel, Dr. Keller took a break about an hour ago. I believe she plans on returning later tonight to help set up for tomorrow. Is there anything I can help you with?" Marie asked.

"No thanks, I'll track her down." Sheppard headed out moving toward her quarters. He knew he could probably raise her on the radio but wanted to actually see how she was doing. The radio would make it less personal allowing her to make excuses and he really wanted to see her.

After checking her quarters, the gym and several balconies Sheppard was running out of places to look.

"McKay, this is Sheppard, please respond," John called.

"Go ahead," Rodney answered.

"Rodney, I need you to locate Doc for me."

"Give me a minute … she's in the reading room. Huh, I didn't think anyone ever used that room," Rodney said surprised.

"Thanks, Rodney. Umm … where exactly?"

"South pier level 22," Rodney snickered knowing Sheppard had never been to the room.

"Thanks, Sheppard out."

John made his way to the reading room wondering why Jennifer was hiding out here of all places. Entering, his eyes took a few minutes to adjust to the low lighting. Looking around, John spotted Jennifer sitting in an easy chair at the back of the room in her favorite position … knees drawn up to her chest. John squatted down in front of the chair placing his hands on her knees.

"Doc," Sheppard called quietly. "Jennifer, are you okay?" John reached up and lifted her chin. "Hey …," John softly whispered looking into her eyes.

"Hey," Jennifer replied wiping the tears off her face. "You do realize this is the reading room?" she said smiling.

"Well, I confess this is my first time here," he slowly smirked. "Come here," John said taking her hand and pulling her out of the chair. He walked over to the couch motioning for Jennifer to take a seat as he sat down beside her.

"Okay Doc, what's going on?" Sheppard quietly asked.

"Would you believe I'm spending a little quiet time reading?" Jennifer asked raising her eyebrow.

"Nice try," he laughed.

"Well, would you believe I'm over worked, overwhelmed, a bit discouraged and needed a quiet place to have a good cry?" Jennifer asked rather bluntly.

"Now that I'd buy," Sheppard grinned. "Your secret's safe with me," John added putting his arm around her. "I'm all yours, cry away."

"Did you hear about my doctors … or maybe I should say lack of doctors?" Jennifer grumbled. "I've infirmary staff ready to leave on the Daedalus and I don't want to cancel their leave. Then there's the inventory problem, eager new recruits and the ever present worry of being stuck with an empty dance card."

"I'm not going to even pretend to understand the whole dance card thing," Sheppard said frowning. He found himself gently running his fingers over Jennifer's arm tracing the fresh scars from the dog bites. "Don't forget dogs and running for your life." John added.

"And clowns … let's not forget clowns." Jennifer chuckled.

"Hey … this is your melt-down, leave my clowns out of it," Sheppard ordered playfully scowling.

Slowly the door to the room opened and several new recruits entered on their self imposed tour of the city. They walked further into the room looking around at the bookshelves and teasing each other about hooking up with a librarian or possibly a lonely bookworm. As they neared the back of the room the men stopped in their tracks and stood at attention in front of their commanding officer.

"At ease, men," Sheppard said. "I'll ask you to give us the room. Feel free to explore more tomorrow, gentlemen."

"Yes sir," they responded leaving immediately.

As soon as the door closed, they both burst out laughing.

"I don't know what I'm laughing at. My reputation's in the toilet after this," Jennifer groaned. "Can I add this to my melt down?"

"Seriously Doc, how are you doing with the nightmares?" John asked as he ran his fingers over the dog bites again.

"I've sort of put it on the back burner for a while. I know I probably need to spend some time and work through it but I'm not quite ready to do that right now. But I will soon," Jennifer confessed.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do," Sheppard offered.

"Thanks, Colonel. I appreciate you and your friendship," Jennifer replied quietly.

"Okay, now it's time to go get you something to eat … I insist," Sheppard said firmly as he pulled Jennifer up off the couch.

"Actually, I need to get back to the infirmary and give Marie a hand cleaning and setting up for orientation in the morning," Jennifer explained.

"Tell you what, you come with me and eat something and I'll come help you and Marie set up. Deal?" John asked as he moved her toward the door.

"Deal," she agreed knowing his offer was more of an order. Jennifer couldn't remember the last time she'd sat down and eaten a real meal. "Maybe there'll still be some fruit cups," she said causing Sheppard to grin.

The three of them had the infirmary set up and ready for orientation in no time flat. Jennifer and Marie thanked the Colonel profusely for his assistance knowing he made it possible for the women to get to bed at a decent time.

John began thinking about Jennifer as he left the infirmary heading toward his quarters. He couldn't remember the last time he'd let anyone get close to him and wondered if that's what was happening between him and the young doctor. The more he thought about it the more he realized it was probably more an enjoyment of having someone to look after and protect. He hadn't felt "needed" by anyone for quite some time. He decided it was just a matter of enjoying her company on a friendship level. She brought him a measure of contentment he hadn't had for quite some time. And if anyone needed looking after it was Dr. Keller especially off world, he chuckled to himself.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

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Chapter 11

Sergeant Clark entered the infirmary looking for Dr. Keller. Marie was busy packing equipment and pointed him toward the supply room.

Dr. Keller and Marie were to accompany SGA-2 off world to join several other teams aiding P28-433 who were recovering from a recent wraith culling. The casualties were heavier than expected with many injuries.

"I'll grab the field kits and return for your equipment bags," Clark said motioning toward Marie's supplies.

"Thanks Sergeant, this is my last bag then I'll be ready," Marie explained.

Walking into the supply room, Clark instantly saw the young doctor and called out, "Dr. Keller, I need to grab two extra field kits for teams on the planet who're running low on supplies," Clark explained as he relieved Jennifer of the kits she was holding. She handed him the two extra kits and turned to lock the supply room door.

"Sergeant Clark, will you be joining us on the planet?" Jennifer asked as they crossed the infirmary room floor to meet up with Marie.

"I'll be taking Sergeant Meyers place with Major Lorne's team. Meyers is on leave for the rest of the month.

"Good to have you with us. Is this your first off world mission?" Keller asked as they all made their way to the gate room.

"Does it show?" Clark asked frowning.

"No, Sergeant, you carry yourself very well. And don't believe all the rumors you've heard about my unlucky streak … I trust Major Lorne's team with my life. You couldn't ask for a better first assignment than to be placed with his team," Jennifer encouraged smiling.

Major Lorne walked his team through the gate delivering Dr. Keller and Marie to the makeshift clinic they'd set up in the town square. He assigned Sergeant Clark to stay with the women and help out in any way he could.

There were four teams on the planet spread out in various locations assisting the villagers with medical care and shelter. Lorne and his team were checking out some nearby caves hoping they could be used as make shift housing for a few weeks until they were sure the Wraith wouldn't return. If returning darts couldn't detect any human population they might conclude the survivors had fled to another planet and hopefully abandon this one as a future feeding ground.

Dr. Keller was very grateful to have Sergeant Clark assisting at the clinic. She and Marie were overwhelmed with survivors needing medical assistance and having an extra set of hands was invaluable. The Sergeant was also able to relay fresh medical kits to the teams scattered around the village.

Jennifer and Marie worked rapidly to establish some sort of order to the clinic and organize the treatment area. Several of the villagers volunteered to help and soon they had a very efficient system in place. Dr. Keller treated those with lesser injuries while stabilizing those with critical wounds.

"Sergeant Clark, I need you to take these field kits to Major Jordan's and Major Siler's teams. Can you find out if they have any other medical needs while you're there?" Jennifer asked pointing to the kits sitting in the corner of the room.

"On my way. I'll be on the radio if you need me," Clark answered strapping the kits over his shoulder.

Dr. Keller and Marie continued treating and triaging the patients throughout the day. SGA-7 came to assist the relocation of patients to the temporary shelters they'd set up in the caves along the cliffs. They also ferried groups of the injured to the star gate where SGA-5 took them the rest of the way to the Atlantis infirmary where Dr. Cole was manning the operating room.

"Dr. Keller, this is Sergeant Clark, please respond," Clark radioed from one of the medical outposts.

"Go ahead Sergeant," Jennifer responded.

"Doc, do we have any extra morphine vials at your location? Major Jordan's team is out of pain killers and this new field bag is missing its morphine," Clark explained.

"Yes Sergeant, I have extras here. Why don't you give them the vials out of the other kit and go on to Major Siler's team. If they need extras then you can come get some from our supply bag. That'll save you a trip," Jennifer suggested frowning. _ That should have been a full kit. Something was very wrong, she thought._

"Will do, Doc. Clark out," he announced.

Jennifer logged the information away in her mind to pursue once she got back to Atlantis. She suspected her inventory thief had found a way around the system once again.

Sergeant Clark returned to the clinic with the used kits and piled them in the corner. He dug out some extra morphine vials from the supply bag and double-timed it back to Siler's team. Once he was back from his last trip he filled Jennifer in on the problem.

"Dr. Keller, it seems the original field kit Major Siler obtained on Atlantis this morning was missing painkillers, I thought you'd want to know," Clark informed the doctor.

"Thanks for the info Sergeant. Could you make a quick note of the incident and place it in the used field kit?" she asked. "I'll deal with it when we get back to Atlantis," she added hoping Marie would have a logical explanation.

Shortly after Sergeant Clark returned Jennifer was ready to gate back to Atlantis and help with the surgeries. She gave instructions to her village volunteers on symptoms to watch for and how to use the medicines she'd be leaving. Jennifer continued to explain that Atlantis would be checking on them daily for a while until they were sure the planet was safe from further cullings.

* * *

Dr. Keller and Marie returned to an infirmary overflowing with patients. As soon as Dr. Cole was free the two doctors worked out a schedule for the remaining injuries and got to work. It still took the better part of the evening to complete the surgeries and settle everyone in beds.

Dr. Keller finally finished her last operation for the day allowing Marie to wheel the young boy off to recovery. It'd been a difficult and lengthy surgery repairing the damage the child had received when the culling first started. The boy had fallen in all the confusion and been trampled before his father could find him. Her team was already back in Atlantis when the boy had been found and Jennifer had worried about losing those precious early hours right after a severe trauma knowing they could make the difference between life and death. Thankfully, the boy looked like he'd make a complete recovery.

She removed her gloves and walked out of the operating room. After checking in with Marie she left for her quarters to change out of her scrubs.

"Marie, I'm going to clean up and get something to eat. I'd like you to do the same as soon as you've settled the boy. Thanks for all your hard work today, we make a good team," Jennifer said squeezing her shoulder.

"Thanks, Doctor, I think I'll take a sandwich back to my room and take a long hot bath," Marie replied. "Have a good night." Marie went to check on the patients one last time before she left for the night.

Jennifer headed toward her quarters thinking about how fortunate she was to have Marie on her staff. Their workload the past few months had been gruesome especially since they'd lost some of their new medical recruits at the last minute.

She'd talked Colonel Carter into allowing some of her staff to take their vacation time even though they'd been short handed and it'd been no small feat getting her to sign off on it. Jennifer her moments when she questioned her decision to put up with the situation for a few more months until they got some relief, but she knew it'd be worth it in the end. The next time the Daedalus arrives it will be bringing her new staff and rested personnel …things will turn around, she kept telling herself.

She dragged her tired body into the mess hall looking for something light to eat. Food was the last thing on her mind but she'd already skipped several meals in the past few days and knew she needed to eat something before she retired for the night.

She fixed herself a cup of tea and stood in front of the pastry case looking for something to snack on. "What I'd give for a pepperoni pizza," she thought. Choosing a couple of fruit cups, Jennifer moved to the far corner of the mess hall settling herself on the couch to relax for a few minutes.

"Hey Doc, do you mind if I join you?" Sergeant Clark asked approaching.

"Sure, Sergeant, I'd love the company," Jennifer smiled.

'You did a good job out there today, Doc. Is it always like that?" he asked as he pulled a chair up next to the couch.

"Heavens no, lots of missions are hours and hours of boring negotiations. So how would you describe your first mission?" Jennifer inquired stifling a yawn.

"Not enough adjectives to describe how I felt," he replied chuckling "You're right about Major Lorne and his team. It was an excellent team to be placed with for my first experience. I have a lot of respect for the Major and his men." Clark added with appreciation in his voice.

"Sergeant, I don't mean to be rude but it's been a very long day. Please forgive me if I nod off on you," she laughed softly.

"Why don't you take a little nap and I'll walk you home after I eat," Clark offered.

"Thanks, Sergeant, I'll just rest my eyes for a few minutes," Jennifer said as she drew her knees up and rested her head.

* * *

Sheppard finished his report and headed to the control room to check in. He spent a few minutes talking with Major Lorne then moved toward the mess hall to get something to eat. After filling his tray he moved into the dining room pulling up a chair next to Sergeant Clark.

"Sergeant," Sheppard greeted as he set his tray down.

"Sir," Clark acknowledged his commanding officer.

"I've gotten good reports on your performance today, Sergeant. Major Lorne's evaluation gave you very high marks," Sheppard commended.

"Thank you, Sir, it was an honor working with SGA-2. I'd like to request permanent placement on an off world team, Colonel," Clark said voicing his desire.

"We'll see what we can do about that, Sergeant. How long has she been here?" Sheppard asked nodding toward Jennifer.

"Not quite an hour. She was in surgery most of the night. I think she wanted to eat something before going to bed but as you can see that didn't work out so well," Clark said smirking at the untouched fruit cups.

"I told her I'd walk her home but I think I'll leave that to you Colonel," Clark suggested knowing Sheppard was especially protective of the doctor. "She was amazing today with the villagers. I've never seen anyone so commanding or skilled in her profession."

"I appreciate you looking after her and Marie today," Sheppard said as he stood moving over to the couch.

"Thank you, Sir, for giving me the opportunity today," Clark said as he stood with the Colonel. "Good night Colonel."

"Good night Sergeant," Sheppard answered as he sat down on the couch.

Sheppard set his coffee mug down on the end table as he got comfortable preparing to wake Jennifer. With so many patients in the infirmary he knew she'd have a busy day tomorrow and needed as much sleep as possible.

Sheppard leaned over and gently shook Jennifer's shoulder hoping not to startle her.

"Time to wake up, Doc. Jennifer?" Sheppard quietly called.

Jennifer slowly raised her head to look at Colonel Sheppard a bit confused at the situation.

"Heard you had a long day," Sheppard said waiting for a response. Lorne said you saved a lot of lives … you did good, Doc."

Jennifer stared at Sheppard with a puzzled look on her face. She'd been dreaming about her dad and his comforting presence. Now that she was awake his nearness floated away leaving her tired and lonely. Yes, it had been a long day, she thought, for everyone.

Jennifer leaned in putting her arms around John's waist and rested her head on his chest. She knew he'd feel awkward but she really needed a hug right now.

"Hey, you okay?" John asked as he settled his arms around her, his usual unease at showing emotions somehow not showing.

"Just need a hug," she softly whispered.

Sheppard held her for a long while as she relaxed in his protective care.

"Thank you Colonel," she said sighing heavily. "I really needed that."

"Come on," he said as he helped her up, "time to get you back to your quarters.

As they neared her door Jennifer suddenly remembered the problems with the morphine vials.

"Colonel, I had some problems with the medical kits and missing drugs today. I need to fill you in on the latest with our inventory problem if you have time," Jennifer explained yawning once more.

"We'll work on it together. I'll set aside some time in the next day or two, as soon as things slow down for you in the infirmary," Sheppard assured her as she opened her door. "Get some rest, sweet dreams, Doc," he said as he gently squeezed her shoulder.

Jennifer kicked off her shoes the minute her door closed and moved toward her bed. She was too tired to even change out of her clothes flopping down on her unmade bed, she curled up in a throw blanket she'd retrieved from the floor. As she drifted off to sleep she thought about the strong friendship she was developing with Colonel Sheppard. There'd been moments over the past months when she questioned her own feelings wondering if it was more than friendship but quickly realized how absurd a notion that was. Not only was he "the guy" as he occasionally referred to himself but she was just a kid in his eyes … way out of her league was an understatement.

If nothing else, she was truly grateful for this relationship they'd forged. She no longer had to carry everything in her life on her shoulders alone. It was comforting to have someone she could go to for advice and help when needed. Jennifer realized she was more content with her life at this moment than ever before and it felt good.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_**A/N**__: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

_**A big thank you to all of you who are faithfully reading… I'm enjoying all the interest in the story and especially appreciate all the wonderful reviews! All of your input is extremely encouraging!**_

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Chapter 12

The jumper slowly rose to the jumper bay having arrived back on Atlantis from P28-433. It'd been a week since Dr. Keller and the SGA teams had helped the people of the planet recover from the Wraith culling. Today they transported the last of the villagers who'd been recovering in the infirmary back to their world and helped them get settled in their temporary clinic. Jennifer had formed fast friendships with several of the women and would miss their company. She was thankful they'd be keeping an eye on the village until they could get up on their feet again. They would make good trading partners in the future and Atlantis was always grateful for new alliances.

Sergeant Clark met them at the jumper bay and helped Ronon carry the equipment and supplies back to the infirmary. Dr. Keller and Marie spent the next hour putting everything away finishing just as their shift ended.

"Marie, would you like to join me for a quick dinner?" Jennifer asked as she closed down her computer.

"Thank you Doctor, but I've a committee meeting to attend for our Rec Room project. We're getting so close to the big event it's hard for me to think of anything else," Marie said excitedly. "It's been hard finding a time to meet with you lately so I've made detailed notes. I'd really appreciate it if you could look this over and discuss it with me as soon as you can … we don't have a lot of time to make changes," she added handing Doc the file folder.

"I'll look it over tonight and meet with you tomorrow. Have a good meeting," Jen

replied as she left the infirmary.

By the time Jennifer actually entered the mess hall it was pretty empty. She chose a table off in a corner by the windows sitting so she could look out on the city.

"Good evening, Dr. Keller," Sergeant Clark greeted as he approached her table.

"Hi Sergeant, why don't you join me?" Jennifer asked.

"Thanks, how are you tonight?" Clark asked setting his tray down across from her. "I see you're eating rather late too."

"We're still short handed in the infirmary so most of my meals are late … if at all," she chuckled.

"Well, it isn't too late so you still have time to get a good night's sleep."

"I wish," Jennifer said frowning. "I still have a meeting and these reports on the dance to go over before my head hits the pillow," she added sarcastically.

"Is that the fundraiser dance for the recreation room?" Clark asked.

"Yes, I'm the overseer of the project … in name only," she laughed. "I have no idea how to put together something like this but the committee is doing a wonderful job."

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Clark asked shyly.

"Sure," Jennifer answered worriedly. Her life was pretty much an open book in her eyes so when men asked her if they could get personal it usually only meant one thing … they wanted to ask her out.

"Do you know if Marie is seeing anyone?" he asked shyly.

"Well, Sergeant, you have excellent taste. And no, she isn't seeing anyone as far as I know. Maybe you should consider filling a few spaces on her dance card."

"Dance card? I'm not exactly sure what you mean," Clark frowned. "And please call me Seth."

"Only if you'll stop calling me Dr. Keller. My friends call me Jennifer or Doc if that's easier," she added seeing his distress at her given name.

"Hey Jen," Major Lorne greeted as he pulled a chair out. What's new?" he asked as he sat down next to her kissing her cheek.

"Hey Evan. I was just about to explain dance cards to Sergeant Clark," she replied smiling.

Jennifer pulled out a sample card from her file folder and proceeded to explain how the cards would work.

"So we only get to dance with the ladies if we buy a ticket?" Evan asked scowling.

"The dance cards only work for an hour in the middle of the evening. There'll be plenty of time to ask the "ladies" early or late in the evening," she laughed. "Looking at these notes it looks like they are going to start selling dance tickets at the end of the week."

"You don't look too happy about that," Evan said raising his eyebrows.

"Since I'm a department head I pretty much have to participate in all the activities. I've never been to this kind of social event so it's a bit stressful for me," Jennifer explained not wanting to go into too much detail with Clark at the table.

"Thanks for the advice, Doc. I think I'll take you up on the dance card idea." Clark said as he stood to leave. "My lunch hour is over … time to get back to patrolling our fair city. Thanks for the company," Clark added as he pushed in his chair.

"Good night, Seth." Jennifer smiled as he walked away. She considered Seth one of her friends and loved the idea of him and Marie together.

"Okay, now that it's just the two of us, what's bugging you about this dance?" Evan asked.

"Oh please … this can only end in disaster for me," Jennifer grumbled. "I'll either be the only person in history to have an empty dance card or it will be filled with strange men who will be putting their hands where they shouldn't. Either way it's an ego buster!

"Come on, Jen, I know lots of men who'd jump at the chance to have a dance with our beautiful CMO, my men being at the front of the line," Evan said hoping to encourage her somewhat.

"Your men are different and they don't have to buy a ticket. I'm just not good at this kind of thing," she complained. "I never know what to say and what will I do if someone asks me out? I like my life the way it is right now."

"It wouldn't hurt you to spend some time with a man once in a while. You might actually like it," Evan teased.

"I spend time with plenty of men, thank you."

"Like who?" Lorne challenged.

"I like spending time with you. Ronon and I hang out sometimes and I visit a lot with the Colonel … all men I might add," she said defiantly.

"We're all safe. How about hanging out with a man you might actually have a relationship with?" he dared.

"Did I mention I like my life just the way it is?" she said stubbornly.

"What about Sergeant Clark? He seems to like spending time with you," Evan asked thankful to have the opportunity to question her about his intentions.

"Seth and I are friends. Actually, he's interested in Marie," Jennifer said smiling.

"Seth is it? Are you sure there's nothing there?" he questioned.

"Just friends," she stressed. "It's not like I have a stream of male suitors knocking down my door," Jen scowled. "I think my worries over an empty dance card are legitimate."

"Only cause they've figured out they have to go through your "friends" to ask you out. Not many are man enough to deal with Ronon if things go badly," Evan snorted.

"You're just kidding, right?" Jennifer asked worriedly.

"Trust me … there'll be a lot of "friends" lining up to swing the first punch if someone breaks your heart, myself and my team included.

"Thanks Evan, I love you too," she said bumping shoulders. "I'll let you know when I'm ready to jump into the dating pool. In the mean time, how am I going to get out of this dance card fiasco?"

"You'll do just fine and I'll bet you a week's pay your card is filled immediately!

"What card?" Sheppard asked sitting down at the table. "Sorry I'm late," he said turning to Jen.

"Doc is stressing over the dance cards for the big event," Evan said taking a few minutes to explain the whole concept to the Colonel.

"Why are you stressed?" John asked.

Jennifer just rolled her eyes and took a big bit of her sandwich so she wouldn't have to explain herself.

"She doesn't think anyone would buy a dance for her," Evan snorted. "Like that's going to happen. Her card will probably fill up before they start selling tickets."

"I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about, Doc. Lorne's right, they'll be lining up to spin you across the floor."

"You're not helping any," Lorne chuckled looking at Sheppard.

"Last thing I need is a bunch of lonely Marines stealing a feel as they whirl me across the dance floor! How did I get into this mess! I'll be glad when this is all over and things are back to normal," Jennifer sighed deeply.

"Well, Doc, be sure and save a dance for me," Evan ordered as he stood to leave. "Seriously, I want to know if there's any groping. Sometimes Marines just have to be taught some manners," he added smiling.

Evan gathered his tray and trash leaving Jennifer and Sheppard alone to work on their inventory problem.

"Doc, don't worry about the dance. It'll all work out and it's only one night. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised," Sheppard assured her.

"I wish it was that simple. I volunteered to donate something for the auction too," she said sheepishly.

"Like what?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"I couldn't find anything in my quarters worth auctioning off so I suggested a home cooked meal. Marie seemed to think it would go for a high price."

"Okay," Sheppard mused, "you might have a problem. I imagine men will be fighting over a home cooked meal with a beautiful woman," he laughed. "Hell, I'll probably bid on it myself."

"I'm so dead," she mumbled.

"Trust me Doc, it's all going to work out, stop worrying," he encouraged. "Now, how bout we work on the inventory."

Jennifer explained about the problems with the medical kits when they were out in the field and the missing painkillers. Marie had assured Jennifer that the kits she took to P28-433 were fresh and not used kits from old missions.

"Have you changed the lock on the supply room door yet?" Sheppard asked.

"Yes, finally, it took longer than I wanted to get to it but it's done now," she answered apologetically.

"So what's the procedure in the supply room with the kits?" John asked as he took notes.

"Unfortunately, right now there really isn't much of a protocol we've been following. I usually check in all the drugs when the Daedalus comes to town. Then Marie and I work on stocking used kits. We're also the only two that can hand out kits to the teams," Jen explained.

"So you don't know if returned kits have been used unless you check them right away. Could the med kits on P28-433 have been used kits that just got put back in the rotation?" he hoped.

"Marie said they were new kits and I trust her memory."

"When a team returns their med kit do you set it aside in the supply room?" he asked.

"When the team returns the kit we usually ask if it'd been used and if not we put it back with the new kits. So, I guess if someone took the drugs we really don't know if it happened out in the field or in the supply room. We also don't know when it happened I guess now that I think about it," Jennifer reasoned scowling.

"I think we're going to have to actually assign each team a kit and then track how they use the pain-killers in their specific kit," John suggested.

"I can put inventory numbers on all the kits and create a check out log for the teams," she added.

"That should work," Sheppard agreed. "What's wrong, you don't look too happy with the idea?"

"No, it's a good idea, I'm just frustrated that we're back to square one. I'm so ready to be done with this problem. And I'm saddened to think that it's probably one of my staff that's doing the stealing," she sighed heavily.

"Don't give up, I do think we're getting closer," Sheppard encouraged. "Put these new ideas into play and let me know what happens. Maybe it'll solve the problem."

"I'll get on that right away and let you know if it works," she assured him.

"Are you done for the night?" Sheppard asked.

"I still have to go over these notes on the fundraiser," Jennifer said rolling her eyes.

"Well, try to get to bed soon, you look tired, Doc."

"I shouldn't be long," she promised. "You look a bit tired yourself I might add."

"I spent some quality time with the clowns last night so I'm a bit worn out this evening," he answered rubbing his face. "I'm going to try and call it an early night too." John stood and picked up his tray as he turned to leave.

"Sweet dreams, Colonel," Jennifer called grinning as she beat him to the punch.

"Hey, no fair stealing my lines," he declared with a boyish grin.

Jennifer couldn't keep from smiling as she watched him walk out of the mess hall. Now it was time to get back to work. It looked like the fundraiser was coming along nicely and very well thought out. Even the menu looked appealing. She knew everyone would have a good time and even admitted to herself the dance cards were a good idea. They should be able to raise enough money to get all the things they were hoping for. "Hopefully there'll be alcohol involved," she grumbled to herself knowing it might help get her through the ordeal.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

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Chapter 13

Jennifer and Marie worked hard for two days getting the changes to the inventory system up and running for the medical kits. They attached serial numbers to each kit then created log sheets to track their movement. Marie spent a lot of her time checking each bag for contents and sorting them according to what they needed. About half the kits were complete including pain meds and were put on the shelves as available.

Marie took the other bags making notes as to what they were missing and set them aside to complete once the Daedalus arrived at the end of the week. She knew Jennifer didn't like to short themselves on supplies in the infirmary and doubted they'd need the extra bags before their next shipment.

Jennifer made a list of items to order to make this a more permanent system with such things as metal numeric tags and large red and green stickers to quickly slap on bags designating their status in the supply room. She wouldn't tolerate the idea of sending teams out with incomplete medical bags. The teams had come to depend on the supplies out in the field making the difference between life and death numerous times.

Having tagged the last bag, Marie was ready to move on to her fundraiser. The committee had decided to move the social out by one day so the crew of the Daedalus could join in the festivities. The dance tickets were scheduled to go on sale later in the day with Marie in charge of the sale and distribution. She'd convinced Lindsey Novak to organize the women on the Daedalus and supply her with names of those wanting to join in the fun.

Marie and her group had requisitioned a small room across from the infirmary to utilize as their headquarters, using it as a workroom, for meetings and storage. Late in the afternoon, armed with the tickets, dance cards, posters and a cash box the small group made their way to the mess hall.

Jennifer cringed slightly as she watched the group gaily making their way down the corridor laughing excitedly. She found herself fantasizing about sneaking up behind the group and pulling a P-90. _"Stop where you are, put your hands in the air and hand me the dance cards," the masked robber demanded holding the weapon on the leader. The robber thumbed through the cards, pulling one out she stuck it in her pocket. "Go …" the robber ordered wielding her gun at the group, " and don't say anything if you know what's good for you."_

Ronon furrowed his brow as he passed Marie and the group in the corridor wondering what all their excitement was about. Turning into the infirmary he all but knocked Jennifer over coming to an abrupt halt in front of her as she stood rooted in the middle of the aisle.

"Hey Doc, you okay?" Ronon asked, watching Jennifer stare off into space. "Doc…?"

"Oh … sorry Ronon, I guess you caught me daydreaming," Jennifer said sheepishly. "What can I do for you?" she asked walking back into the clinic.

"You wanna go get something to eat?" Ronon asked as they walked back to Jennifer's office together.

"Sure, I probably won't get much more done today anyway," Jennifer grumbled knowing she wouldn't be able to think about anything other than the stupid dance cards.

Ronon and Jennifer took a table on the far side of the dining hall away from all the commotion. Marie and her volunteers were setting up some tables just inside the door hoping to be ready in time for the evening dinner crowd.

"What's that all about?" Ronon asked nodding toward the tables.

"They're selling dance tickets for the social this weekend," Jennifer grumbled.

"You going?" he asked between bites.

"Yes, I'm a department head so it's sort of expected," she replied frowning.

"You don't seem very happy about it. Don't you like to dance?"

"It's not that…I'm just not excited about having to dance with a bunch of strangers."

"Just say no," he suggested.

"There's an hour set aside for men to buy tickets so I don't have much of a choice," she explained. "Thank goodness I learned how to dance for my cousin's wedding or it'd be a real disaster."

* * *

Lorne approached the tables and whipped out his wallet to purchase a few tickets before he got his dinner.

"Hey, Casey, how're you doing this evening?" Lorne asked the pretty nurse. "I'd like to buy a few tickets for Dr. Keller's card."

Casey leaned over and thumbed through the cards looking for Dr. Keller's. Not finding it the first time she shuffled through again finding it in the back of the box. She opened the card to find it completely filled out. Casey knew the cards were confidential but wasn't exactly sure what to do with a full card.

"Marie, what does this mean?" Casey asked as she showed Marie the card.

"Dr. Keller's card is already full. Sorry, Major, you'll have to choose someone else," Marie explained smiling.

"Okay, is Lt. Cadman's card in this pile?" he inquired.

"Sure thing, would you like to purchase a ticket for her? She asked as she pulled her card from the file.

"Is there a limit to how many I can buy?" Lorne asked.

"Not at all, would you like to buy a couple?" she asked.

"I'll buy the whole card," Lorne said as he counted out the money.

"Sure you don't want to spread yourself around a bit?" she asked, hoping the Major would buy a ticket for her card.

"No, I like this arrangement," he answered with a small grin.

"What is it with flyboys and their women?" Casey mumbled under her breath as she filled in Laura's card.

* * *

After filling his tray, Lorne took a seat across from Jennifer at the table.

"Good evening," Lorne said as he pulled his chair out. "Bought your tickets for the dance yet?" Evan asked looking at Ronon.

Turning to Jennifer, Ronon asked, "How bout I buy a couple of tickets and we can eat or something? Long as I don't have to dance"

"What a great idea, I'd love that," Jennifer said

"Too late," Evan declared. "I just tried to buy a couple tickets for your card and it's already full," he explained looking at Jennifer.

"How can that be, they just started selling the tickets?" she cried. Jennifer was so frustrated Given the hope of finding a way out of this humiliation just to have it snatched away was too much for her. She lowered her head to the dining table and started slowly banging her head, moaning unintelligently.

Sheppard and Teyla took seats at the table curiously watching Jennifer's antics.

"Okay … are they out of fruit cups?" Sheppard asked nodding at Jennifer.

"Seems like her dance card is filled already much to her dismay," Lorne explained grinning.

"Is this not a good thing, Jennifer?" Teyla asked.

Raising her head, Jennifer began to rant, "Twelve slots … all twelve slots are filled. Which means, I have twelve strange men who _paid_ to put their sweaty hands on my bare back while looking down the front of my dress. And… if I'm lucky, I may end up with a few offers for future dates." Jennifer slowly shook her head back and forth. "What's not to like," she added putting her head back down on the table.

'Come on, Doc, it's for a good cause," Evan reminded her.

"Can't I just write them a big check and call it even?" she asked sarcastically.

"I think it will be a lovely evening and it is just one hour that will be awkward," Teyla reasoned trying to encourage Jennifer.

"You're right, I just need to change my perspective. I can do this," Jennifer declared trying to convince herself.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Sheppard assured her.

"Did you bring something suitable to wear to the social?" Teyla quietly asked Jennifer as the men talked about their upcoming mission.

"No, but Laura went shopping for me before she left Earth. I'm hoping she leaned more toward "modest" when she picked something out," Jennifer replied.

"It will be good to see Laura. It has been quite some time since she was last here," Teyla expressed.

"I'm really looking forward to seeing her too," Jen agreed "Seems like she was on assignment to Area 51 forever."

Laura was one of Jennifer's closest friends but being stationed on the Daedalus didn't afford them much time together. Cadman usually bunked in Jennifer's room when they were docked in Atlantis, which gave them extra time for those late night chats. She still hadn't told Laura about her last mission so she knew they'd get little sleep this trip. Jennifer suspected she'd have to share some of her precious "Laura" time with Evan this week too. His interest in the explosives expert had increased over the past year, which delighted Jennifer deeply. The thought of her two best friends spending romantic moments together pleased her to no end.

* * *

The Daedalus docked late at night on the east pier and began beaming in new recruits early the next morning. Jennifer and her staff would be busy all day with new arrival physicals and post mission check ups for the three teams that were expected back through the gate.

Jennifer spent most of the morning checking in new scientists and a few medical personnel. The infirmary was buzzing with talk of the Social later that evening. She'd finally come to terms with the whole thing knowing it was for a good cause. It was only one night… actually, only one hour that really bothered her if you didn't count the silent auction. She decided to embrace the anticipation of the evening to come and the enjoyment of spending it with friends.

"Hey, girlfriend," Laura called as she entered Jennifer's work area.

"It's about time you got your ass back to the Pegasus," Jennifer said sarcastically as she gave her a big hug.

"Are you almost done here?" Laura asked looking around the infirmary. "We've a lot of primping to do before the dance," she said grinning.

"Can't wait," Jennifer said rolling her eyes. "Have you been checked in yet?"

"That's why I'm here but make it quick so we can grab something to eat after," Laura requested.

"Sit up here on this bed and I'll be with you as soon as I finish with our new botanist over there," Jennifer said pointing to her examination area.

Jennifer quickly finished with Laura and the two headed toward the mess hall catching up on all the news in both galaxies.

* * *

Laura and Jennifer set their clothes out on the bed and proceeded to get ready for the dance.

"Okay, I see everything but my dress," Jennifer noted slowly. "You did find me a dress, right?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes, but it's a surprise so I'll show you as soon as you're hair and make-up are done," Laura said grinning. She'd found a fabulous dress for her friend but knew she'd baulk at the suggestive neckline and lack of material across the back.

Putting the finishing touches on her hair, Jennifer moved to her dresser to thumb through her jewelry box. She hadn't brought much with her to Atlantis, a few pair of earrings and several bracelets. Hopefully she'd be able to find something that would make do for the evening.

"Oh no, Missy, not your everyday trinkets for tonight," Laura scolded as she handed her a small box.

"What's this?" Jennifer asked shaking the box.

"It's not a Christmas present, open it," Laura said grinning.

Jennifer opened the box to find a stunning set of earrings with a necklace to match. She inhaled sharply at their brilliance.

"Laura …" Jennifer exclaimed before she was cut off.

"Think of it as an early birthday present … and Easter, Christmas, St. Patrick's Day … you get the picture. Besides, I was stuck at Area 51 without any access to shopping or QVC for longer than I like to think about. This was therapeutic," Laura smiled reaching over to hug her. Taking the box, Laura helped her put the jewelry on.

Jennifer stood speechless admiring her gift in the mirror when her radio went off calling her to the infirmary. Ronon had been hurt in a sparing accident and the infirmary was busy with return mission physicals. Dr. Cole asked if Jennifer could please take care of Ronon's injury so they could process the rest of the infirmary before the dance started.

"I've got to run take care of Ronon, which should take less than an hour," Jennifer explained grabbing a clean pair of scrubs off her dresser.

"We aren't even through dressing yet," Laura complained stomping her foot.

"You finish dressing and I'll meet you in the rec room as soon as I can," Jennifer promised. "Find a table and order me something to drink," she added.

* * *

Jennifer walked up to Ronon frowning at his bleeding arm. "Why are you sparing just hours before the big event?"

"One of the new recruits challenged me," Ronon replied shrugging his shoulders.

"Wow, a new recruit actually won a challenge from you?" she asked amazed.

"Not exactly," Ronon answered nodding to the bed across the infirmary floor.

"Great, now I'll be even later getting to the dance," she mumbled

Dr. Keller quickly finished stitching up Ronon's cut and prepared to move on to the new recruit.

"Sorry, Doc. Didn't mean to make you late," he apologized.

"How'd you know?"

"You don't usually look so fancy when you stitch me up," he said grinning.

"Oh … I guess I forgot about the jewelry," Jennifer laughed touching her necklace. "Are you going to the dance?"

"Yeah, guess I should go get ready," Ronon answered. "See ya there, Doc."

Jennifer quickly moved across the room and introduced herself to the battered recruit.

"Well, Lieutenant, let's see if we can get you fixed up and out of here in time for the big social tonight.

"So, Doc … are we allowed to pick which doctor we want to work on us cause you'd certainly get my business every time," the Marine said grinning.

" Sorry, it doesn't work that way," Jennifer answered smirking.

"Well, seems like the big lug you were just working on got special treatment then," the Lt. challenged.

"Tell you what, when you can hold your own against the "big lug" then I'll consider taking you on as a special patient," Jennifer offered.

"It was just a lucky shot! Did you notice he was cut too?" the Lt. smirked raising his eyebrow.

"What I just stitched up was a "tap" to his forearm, Lieutenant so I wouldn't brag too much about it if I were you. That "big lug" is your training instructor and you'll be spending a lot of time with him in the next few weeks," Jennifer explained.

"Well, I've never been one to sit on the sidelines," he grinned.

"In that case, I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot more of you in the next few weeks too," Jen mumbled shaking her head.

"So, Doc, are you going to the wing ding tonight?"

"Yes, Lt., if I ever get out of here," Jennifer replied sarcastically as she placed a bandage over his stitches. "You're all fixed up now. Have a good time at the dance, tonight," she added.

"See you there, Doc. Be sure to save a dance for me," he said winking as he walked out the door.

Jennifer watched the arrogant lieutenant swagger down the corridor knowing he was going to be a handful. Hopefully Sheppard would deal with him immediately and save them all the hassle of breaking him in.

Jennifer quickly cleaned up her workstation and left for her quarters to finish getting ready. She found herself having mixed feelings about the evening. She was excited about dressing up and spending the evening with her friends and even looked forward to the dancing. If she could just get rid of the hour of dancing with strangers then the night would be perfect.

Upon entering her quarters, Jennifer quickly went to the bathroom to clean up. She fixed her hair again and touched up her make-up before heading back to her bedroom area. As she neared her bed she could see her dress spread out on top. It was an incredible shade of hunter green and was absolutely gorgeous. Picking the dress up Jen held it against her body and whirled around in circles. She couldn't believe what a good job Laura had done at picking out the perfect dress in the perfect color and it even had a decent hemline.

She quickly put the dress over her head and shimmied into it. The fabric fell over her body creating an incredible fit. Unfortunately, when she looked in the mirror Jennifer couldn't believe her eyes, seeing the front neckline plunge way below her comfort level. She slowly twisted enough to see the back of the dress and realized there was no "back of the dress". This was disastrous, how could she show herself in something this skimpy. What was Laura thinking?


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. _

_**A/N**__: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

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Chapter 14

Jennifer stood in front of the mirror checking out her appearance one last time before leaving her quarters for the dance. She'd searched through her closet for something more suitable to replace the skimpy dress she now wore but it was the "dress" or various styles of the Atlantis uniform. She eventually decided to go with the dress.

Sheppard leaned against the portable bar scanning the room. He hadn't seen this much flesh since his college party days. One thing was for sure … the women of Atlantis certainly cleaned up nicely. His gaze roamed the room before him, glancing over at the room's entrance he did a double take. Standing in the doorway was Atlantis' CMO causing many heads to turn and stare. What intrigued Sheppard the most was the fact Jennifer Keller had no idea how beautiful she looked.

Jennifer stood in the doorway surveying the tables looking for Laura and some sort of sanctuary. At least sitting at a table would help her feel a little less conspicuous. Spotting Cadman sitting across the room she headed over.

"What were you thinking?" Jennifer sternly whispered as she took a seat next to Laura.

"My, my, Dr. Keller, don't you look smashing this evening," Laura replied wiggling her eyebrows. "You can thank me later," she added grinning.

"Thank you? I should throttle you for all the embarrassment you're causing me," Jennifer snarled.

"Seriously Jen, you look fabulous. Now get out there and mingle," Laura instructed pointing toward the dance floor.

"I haven't had nearly enough alcohol to pry me from this chair," she argued.

"Then let's get started," Laura instructed handing Jennifer a gin and tonic.

The first hour of the dance was spent jockeying for position around the room. A memo had gone out to all key personnel earlier in the week to spread themselves around the room and interact with those outside their usual circle of friends. In other words, step outside your comfort zone and mingle was the directive for the evening. After an hour of "mingling" Sheppard and his team started to drift over to Jennifer and Laura's table.

Ronon arrived first pulling a chair up beside Jennifer.

"Hey, Doc, you look real good tonight," he stated rather awkwardly.

"Well, thanks to Laura I feel naked," she leaned over and whispered frowning.

"She pick out your dress?" Ronon asked smirking.

"Obviously," she answered sarcastically. Jen took a deep breath deciding to forget about the revealing dress and just enjoy the evening. "You look nice too, Ronon," she offered smiling.

"Hey, what about me?" Laura asked feeling a bit left out.

"You always turn heads. Come to think of it, so do you, Ronon," she added laughing. She was already beginning to feel the effects of her first drink.

A determined Marine approached Jennifer asking if she'd like to dance. She opened her mouth to gently let the man down when Ronon cut her off.

"No, she's busy," Ronon, growled causing the poor guy to bump into someone at the table behind them as he made his hasty retreat. Two other brave souls attempted to engage Jennifer in conversation before being chased away by the glaring Satedan. Jennifer was beginning to appreciate his protective behavior.

Finally, Sergeant Clark approached their table grinning at Jennifer. "Good evening, Dr. Keller," Seth said bowing slightly. "You look beautiful tonight, Jennifer. Would you like to dance?" he asked politely.

Jennifer shot a sideways glance at Ronon who nodded knowing the Sergeant and Doc were friends. "I'd love to Seth," she said standing up.

Lorne arrived at their table taking a seat next to Laura. He'd put in enough mingling time and was ready to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. "Hey, Lieutenant, good to see you found your way back to the Pegasus," Lorne grinned taking a seat beside her.

"Good to see you too, Sir," she answered smiling.

"How bout we show 'em how it's done?" he asked nodding toward the dance floor.

The two of them headed off as Sheppard and Teyla took seats across from Ronon. After taking orders, Ronon left to get drinks for everyone and some appetizers.

"Colonel, are you not enjoying yourself this evening?" Teyla asked.

"What's not to like? Beautiful women, yourself included, decked out in next to nothing looking very tempting," John answered grinning. "I'm enjoying myself very much, thank you. Why do you ask?"

"It seems most unlike you to sit alone in such pleasant company," Teyla explained arching her eyebrow.

Marie approached the table asking Teyla to help her distribute the dance cards. The hour for the dance tickets was fast approaching and Marie was extremely excited at how well the evening was going.

Ronon returned to the table to find Sheppard alone.

"Hey, how come you're alone tonight?" Ronon asked smirking.

"Just enjoying the view," Sheppard replied.

"You seem a little off your game lately," Ronon added wondering about Sheppard's lack of female companionship over the past months.

"My game is just fine, thank you. I'm considering my options," Sheppard answered looking around he room. Truth be told, he wasn't in the "mood" tonight and just wanted to sit with his friends and relax.

Teyla returned to the table with three dance cards in hand.

Sergeant Clark returned Jennifer to her table thanking her for the dance. He'd come to admire the young doctor and found himself growing more and more protective of her. He was hoping she'd have honorable men on her dance card.

"Sergeant," Sheppard greeted the man as he held Jennifer's chair out for her.

"Colonel." Seth replied nodding at his commanding officer.

"Are you enjoying the festivities this evening? Sheppard asked watching Clark's body language toward Jennifer.

"Yes, Sir, it's a welcome evening of relaxation."

"Would you like to join us Sergeant?" Sheppard asked anxious to see his reaction to spending the evening sitting next to Jennifer.

"Thank you, Colonel, but I'm already seated at a table across the room," Clark declined. "Thank you, Doc for the dance. Enjoy the rest of your evening," Seth said smiling.

"Thank you, Seth. Enjoy the next hour," Jennifer winked knowing he'd purchased several dances with Marie.

"Well, seems like you two get along a lot better than your first encounter," Sheppard said teasing Jennifer.

"I would hope so," she answered laughing. "I'm hoping to see a lot more of him around the infirmary in the future." Jennifer didn't want to come across as a matchmaker but she did think he and Marie made a perfect couple.

Sheppard mulled her last comment around in his head thinking she was hopeful for herself. John thought Clark was a good man but somehow he didn't like the idea of Jennifer spending a lot of time with him. Come to think of it, he didn't like her spending a lot of time with any of the men on Atlantis.

Marie stepped up to the podium and thanked everyone for coming and for all the support for the Recreation Room. She took a few minutes to report on the plans and purchases they'd made and what everyone could expect to see once the room was finished.

She went on to explain the dance cards once again then turned the hour over to the DJ who started the time off with a slow dance as they lowered the lights.

"Teyla slid Jennifer's dance card across the table to her and handed Laura her card as she approached the table taking her seat once again.

Jennifer placed her card in front of her not ready to open it quite yet. She figured the man who had the first dance would find her soon enough. Laura grinned after opening her card and stood with Evan ready to take the floor again. Jennifer couldn't help but smile knowing Laura had a huge crush on the Major.

Jennifer watched Radak approach the table hoping he was her first dance. She enjoyed his company and wouldn't feel so awkward in his arms. The man stopped in front of Teyla and extending his hand he walked her out to the dance floor.

Jennifer was starting to feel nervous waiting for her first dance partner to show up. She watched Ronon walk over to the bar leaving her and Sheppard alone at the table.

"Don't you think you should take a look at your card?" Sheppard asked with a boyish grin.

"You know how much I love surprises," she replied sarcastically.

"I think you should take a look and see how bad it is," John teased. "If it's military I can always order them to stand down," he joked.

"Could you?" she asked hopefully.

"Bring it over here and we'll look together," Sheppard suggested.

Jennifer got up and walked around the table taking a seat beside him.

"Okay, you look and tell me if I should worry. Seems like I've already been stood up for my first dance … not sure if that's a good thing for my ego," she grumbled handing the card to the Colonel.

"No, you need to look first," he insisted.

Jennifer took a deep breath and slowly opened the card peeking at it through half closed eyes. Her face lit up with a huge smile as her eyes brimmed with tears of joy. All the dance slots had been filled with Colonel Sheppard's name. Leaning over, Jennifer kissed the Colonel on the cheek and whispered, "You're my hero."

John felt his heart do a couple flip-flops and his stomach plunge as if he'd been dropped from the top of a ferris wheel. He wasn't sure why he was at a loss for words or why he felt so nervous. He chalked it all up to too many beers.

He stood up and taking Jennifer's hand said, "I believe this is my dance."

"Why, Colonel, I'm not sure if this is your dance or the next one," she teased laughing. "Let me check my dance card," Jennifer joked as they headed out to mingle with the other couples.

They caught the end of a fast dance and then moved closer as the next dance slowed considerably. Sheppard had a few short moments of panic realizing he'd have to place his hand on her back … her bare back. Then he reminded himself that they were good friends and there was nothing to worry about.

Jennifer moved closer as they settled in for their slow dance. It felt nice resting in his arms protected from the world. Had it been anyone else she would have felt very uncomfortable but John always made her feel safe.

After finishing a few more dances Jennifer realized she was getting quite a few scowls from some of the women on her side of the dance floor.

"I think I might be in trouble for monopolizing your time," Jennifer said nodding toward several women in their immediate vicinity.

"Have you noticed their partners? You're not the only one being glared at," Sheppard softly chuckled. "I think I'm the envy of every guy here."

"Why, Colonel, I do think you've had a bit too much to drink," Jennifer laughed.

Teyla's next dance was with Ronon and after seven straight dances her feet were thankful. Ronon had grabbed a couple pieces of pie and some coffee and had the dessert waiting when Teyla took her seat back at the table.

"Thank you, Ronon, this looks wonderful," Teyla sighed happily.

"Are you having a good time?" Ronon asked.

"Yes, it has turned out very well and they have raised enough to acquire the items they desire for the room," she replied. "Are you enjoying yourself as well?"

"Good to see everyone relaxing plus the food's good," Ronon declared starting on his second piece of pie. "Looks like Sheppard and Doc are spending a lot of time together," Ronon observed.

"They do seem to enjoy each other's company," Teyla agreed. Actually, she'd noticed it for quite some time. John seemed much more content now than he'd been in a very long time. She'd also noticed the protective and loving way he looked at Jennifer and wondered if he was even aware of his feelings. She guessed neither one of them had realized the attraction going on between them.

Sheppard and Jennifer decided to take a walk and get some fresh air. They left the dance floor and walked to the balcony across from the recreation room. Atlantis was a small community filled with beautiful people who possessed exceptional I.Q.s. The down side was everyone knew everyone else's business. The gossip flowed freely and could cause problems at times. Leaving the dance for a while was sure to cause tongues to wag.

"I love this time of night with the moon reflecting off the water," Jennifer said as the two leaned against the railing. I love being near the water … ocean, lake, river, the sound of water is very comforting to me," Jennifer shared. "What about you, Colonel, where's your favorite place to visit?"

"I guess I gravitate more to ocean living. I love to surf or kayak … actually most water sports," he confessed. "I keep thinking I should look around the mainland and see if there're any good swimming holes… in my free time." They both laughed at his last comment. There was little 'free time' to be found in Atlantis.

"Well if you need help scouting out the terrain I'm volunteering right now and calling shot gun," she laughed.

"Next time we have a day off I'll requisition a jumper and you pack a lunch. We'll make a day of it," Sheppard promised grinning.

"Well, should we?" Jennifer asked pointing back toward the festivities.

"I'll grab us some drinks if you'll find some dessert. I hear they went all out to make some special dishes," he suggested.

"I've already scouted out some cheesecake. I'll see if there's any left and meet you back at the table."

John and Jennifer sat down at the table as Rodney and Katie Brown walked up.

"I think we've mingled enough," Rodney said as he pulled a chair out for Katie. "Ooh, cheesecake," McKay exclaimed looking toward John and Jennifer. "Think I'll get us a piece," he said to Katie before walking over to the dessert table.

"My feet are killing me," Lorne complained as he and Laura sat down.

"It's the shiny shoes," Laura grinned.

"I'd be more comfortable in my boots," he answered frowning.

"Yes, but there's nothing like a man in his dress blues," Colonel Carter said taking the empty chair at the table.

"I don't know, there's something really sexy about a man in his BDU," Cadman added with a wink.

"I tend to agree with Laura, my favorite is those tight black t-shirts that show off all the muscles," Katie agreed blushing.

"What about you Teyla?" Carter asked.

"As much as I appreciate both types of attire, I tend to enjoy leather more," Teyla offered raising her eyebrows.

"Well, if that's in the mix it has my vote too," Laura exclaimed.

"Make up your mind, woman," Lorne growled jokingly.

"In my humble opinion it's not just the uniform but a lot depends on the hairstyle," Jennifer said giving Ronon a slow nod of approval. "… or lack of," she added pointedly, looking at Sheppard's unruly spikes.

"Hey, I work long and hard on this style. I'll have you know this isn't easy to maintain," he replied sternly.

"There's nothing nicer than a tight military cut," Samantha added with a far away look.

Carter's comment got a lot of raised eyebrows around the table. Sam finally realized all eyes were on her. "Okay, you've all had a lot more to drink than I have," she frowned. "Time for a re-fill," she said lifting her empty glass and heading toward the bar.

"I second that," Sheppard said adding Jennifer's empty glass to his own and following Sam.

Toward the end of the evening Marie took the podium again and gave a ten-minute warning for the silent auction. While Marie worked on the final details of the auction Sergeant Clark made his way back to Jennifer's table.

"Dr. Keller, would you like to dance?" Clark asked.

"I'd love to," she said taking his hand.

Leaning closer to Teyla, Sheppard quietly asked," So, what's with Doc and the Sergeant?"

"I believe he is thanking her for her encouragement concerning Marie," Teyla answered smirking. "Does this cause you concern," Teyla asked.

"No … no, I was just wondering. Making sure he wasn't bothering her," Sheppard quickly explained.

"I see," she replied rolling her eyes.

As the dance ended, Marie called for everyone's attention and began announcing all the winners for the auction.

"Stop fidgeting," John whispered trying to calm Jennifer. "Why are you so worried?" he added.

"I'm about to find out who I have to cook for, you'd be nervous too. I hope they don't think this is some romantic dinner for two type thing."

"Just don't cook in that dress and you should be fine," he answered with that little boy grin.

"Not funny," Jennifer growled as she socked Sheppard in the arm.

"And now, I've saved the best for last," Marie began as she announced the last auction item. "This is a home cooked dinner for two, which I might add drew the most bids, goes to Colonel Sheppard with a bid of one thousand dollars."

The room erupted in applause as Jennifer began a slow blush. Turning to John with a wide-eyed stare she slowly began to smile. "I'm not a very good cook," she warned him.

"Maybe you should wear that dress then," he fired back laughing.

Marie thanked everyone for coming and all their support. She then announced the last call for the bar and the last dance. Jennifer couldn't remember when she'd had such a lovely evening. Sheppard asked her to join him for the last dance and she floated across the floor feeling like Cinderella at the ball.

Everyone gathered around the table for one last drink and dessert before drifting off in different directions.

"Well, I have an early call in the morning so I'll say good night," Jennifer sighed as she stood to leave.

"I'll walk you," Sheppard said standing with her.

Jennifer picked up her shoes, which she'd discarded some time ago and hooked her arm through Sheppard's as they left the room.

Upon reaching her quarters, she turned to face Sheppard, "Colonel, I want to thank you for making this a wonderful evening for me. I meant it when I said you're my hero," she laughed softly.

"My pleasure," John answered smiling.

Jennifer reached up on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek again, "This one's for the auction."

She wasn't sure what happened next but in the blink of an eye she found herself in John's arms as he leaned down to kiss her good night. The kiss caught her totally off guard and she hesitated a moment before returning the gesture.

The two stood in front of her door locked in each other's arms exploring these new sensations. Jennifer reached up and ran her hand over the door sensor and they slipped into her room without breaking the kiss.

This was not a new situation for John to find himself in by any means. He'd ended many a night with a beautiful woman in his arms but he was not prepared for how he'd feel emotionally about this young doctor who'd wound her way into his heart these past months. As the door shut John held her face and kissed her passionately trying to express all his feelings in that one moment.

Jennifer couldn't think. She didn't want to. John's touch had put a spotlight on feelings she'd ignored for months. She'd treasured this friendship they'd shared but now she realized her feelings ran deeper. Jennifer returned his kisses running her hands along his shoulders and over his chest losing herself in his touch.

John suddenly pulled back holding Jennifer at arm's length.

"Whoa … I'm sorry, Doc," John said trying to compose himself. "I shouldn't have done that. I think I had too much to drink," he rambled making excuses for his behavior.

"Oh … I thought you felt … I mean I thought we were getting close … that you wanted this," Jennifer babbled growing more and more flustered.

"Jennifer, I'm sorry. This was a mistake … I care about you too much," John tried to apologize as Jennifer cut him off.

"It's okay, Colonel, I thought we felt the same," Jennifer stammered. " So, you think I'm a mistake?" she asked feeling deeply wounded.

"No … no, it's not you Doc, it's me," he assured her.

"If I had a nickel," she murmured. "I've heard that line pretty much my whole life, I just thought you were different," Jennifer stammered.

"Doc, I do care about you. Look, it was a very romantic evening and we both had a lot to drink," John reasoned. "I should go."

"You're right, I'm sure we'll both laugh about this in the morning," she tried to lighten the situation. "Thank you for a wonderful evening, I appreciate all you did for me."

"I'll see you tomorrow … sweet dreams," he said walking out the door.

Jennifer turned out the lights and laid on her bed thinking about John. Curling up on her side she cried herself to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

_

* * *

  
_

Chapter 15

Sheppard sat on the edge of his bed his head resting in his hands, cursing at his own stupidity for the mess he'd made. _Why did I kiss her?_ He moaned to himself, everything was perfect till he had to go and push things too far. Now he couldn't stop thinking about her, wanting her.

John had decided his future a long time ago. He never wanted to care about someone that deeply again after his failed marriage. He'd loved Nancy, in fact she was the best thing that ever happened to him. But he messed it up and he'd never really gotten over the heartache. That was a long time ago but the pain and disappointment were still there just under the surface. He made up for it with a fierce loyalty and devotion to those he called family. He would lay down his life if it came to it but he wasn't prepared to love again.

He'd tried to blame the kiss on too many beers, but deep down knew the alcohol had nothing to do with it. He had feelings for the young doctor and he'd let his guard down. John was determined not to let that happen again. He'd try to remain friends but that was as far as he was willing to go. The safest course of action would be to sever all ties and by morning that was what he'd decided to do.

* * *

Jennifer woke before the sun was up with a splitting headache. Knowing she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep she sat up leaning against the wall in the dark. She began playing back the events of the previous night that ended with the kiss, his kiss, John's kiss. It could've ended so much better, could've been the beginning of something so wonderful. But John ended it and labeled it a mistake … that pretty much said it all.

Unfortunately the kiss had the opposite effect on her. In those few moments of intimate contact, Jennifer realized she'd fallen hard for Colonel John Sheppard and knew there'd be no turning the clock back and pretending it never happened. She was stuck once again hearing the words, _it's not you, it's me _and it left her with serious trust issues.

Jennifer decided to watch the sun come up and headed to the mess hall balcony. At this time of morning the dining room was empty flooding her with relief as she made herself a cup of tea. Choosing a table in the far corner she sat drawing her knees up to her chest to stave off the early morning chill

Soon she found herself thinking about her situation and chastening herself for acting like a schoolgirl. "I need to get beyond this," she scolded herself. Unable to keep her emotions in check, she put her head down on her knees and let the tears flow.

"Jennifer?" Teyla called as she stood at the table.

Jennifer jerked her head up in surprise at the sound of Teyla's voice," Oh, you startled me,"

"May I join you?" her friend asked.

"Sure, I'd love your company," Jennifer said wiping her face.

"Are you okay?" Teyla asked concerned.

"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd watch the sun rise," Jen explained trying to hide her emotions.

"I enjoy these quiet moments too before the city awakes. Did you enjoy your evening?" Teyla asked smiling.

"It was wonderful spending the whole evening with everyone. Seems like we never get time to just relax together," Jen answered truthfully. She'd enjoyed every moment until she got back to her room. She hoped she'd be able to separate the two and remember the dance for the good time it was.

"Yes, it has been a long time since we have had such a memorable night," Teyla agreed. "It looked like you and John shared an enjoyable time together as well, yet I sense you are troubled this morning. Can I be of any help?" she asked sincerely.

"Thanks, Teyla, I appreciate your concern. I'm just trying to sort through some things right now," she answered quietly.

Jennifer felt on the verge of tears again and really didn't want to drag Teyla into this whole mess although it would be nice to have someone to confide in.

Both women turned as the door opened and watched Sheppard walk out onto the balcony.

"Good morning," he greeted regretting his decision to eat breakfast on the balcony.

"Good morning, John. Would you like to join us?" Teyla asked.

"I don't want to interrupt, looks like you might be having some girl time," he answered jokingly.

"We are enjoying the sunrise and you are welcome to join us," Teyla informed him.

"You girls are up awfully early. I figured I'd be the only one up for hours after all the festivities last night," John said stealing a sideways glance at Jennifer.

"We were both just saying how lovely the evening had been," Teyla shared.

"Did they raise all the money they were hoping for," Sheppard asked looking at Jennifer. He found himself watching her longer than necessary trying to analyze her feelings. She looked like she hadn't slept much and knew it was probably his fault after the way he behaved in her quarters. He needed to find a time they could talk.

"Marie seemed very pleased at how everything turned out. I'm sure they raised enough to purchase all the game tables," Jennifer replied trying to appear cheerful.

Teyla wanted to give the two of them time along and announced her need to prepare for an early morning training session with the new recruits. She excused herself leaving Jennifer and Sheppard sitting at the table alone.

"How are you doing today?" John quietly asked.

"I'll be fine, you don't need to worry about me," Jennifer answered a bit defensively.

"I just want to make sure we're okay," he explained keeping his eyes trained on her face. "I'm sorry for messing things up last night."

"Listen, Colonel, you've come to my rescue more times than I can count. You've been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on and you went above and beyond last night. You really don't need to keep apologizing," Jennifer said trying to reassure him. "Can we please just forget about your panic attack in my quarters? I'm starting to feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on the high school quarterback."

"I just wanted to be sure we were both feeling the same way. I don't want to ruin our friendship over this and thought you'd probably feel the same way," John explained gently squeezing her hand that was resting on the table.

"Look, I told you I'm not good at relationships and obviously I'm not good at reading people," Jennifer explained as she pulled her hand away and picked up her cup to leave. "I'm not prepared to talk about my personal feelings especially any I might have toward you. You're right, let's just go back to the way things were. I don't want to lose our friendship either," Jennifer agreed as she stood.

"Doc, I never meant to hurt you," John said standing with her.

"I need to get to work. We'll be okay, stop thinking about it," Jennifer insisted smiling.

They both walked back into the dining room where Sheppard left to sit with Ronon and Jennifer walked out toward the transporter. Stepping out near her quarters Jennifer fought to keep it together until she was safe in her room. As soon as her door closed she sat on her bed and let the tears flow. She may be able to fool Sheppard but she recognized she was falling in love with the Colonel and didn't know what to do about it.

* * *

The first week after 'the kiss' Jennifer continued as normal taking her meals with her friends. To all outward appearances it looked as if nothing had changed. But Jennifer could tell that Sheppard was becoming more and more uncomfortable. She couldn't find a way to put him at ease and decided to slowly pull back from the group.

Dr. Keller took more and more of her meals in her office or skipped them all together. She became so focused on her research and overwhelmed with work that it left little time for her to think about her unrequited love.

The third week after 'the kiss' Sheppard excused himself from working on the inventory problem and assigned Lorne to oversee the security issues arising from the continued theft. At Lorne's recommendation, Jennifer had an additional deadbolt installed on the supply room door. Again, only she and Marie had keys to the room but the deadbolt prohibited the lock from being picked. Once again, Jennifer hoped the problem was solved.

By week four after 'the kiss' Jennifer was lonely. She continued having trouble sleeping, spending two to three nights a week in the mess hall reading or sleeping on the couch. She never ran into Sheppard and figured he'd found someplace else to hide from the clowns.

Jennifer averaged three to five missions a month with Colonel Sheppard's team but since the dance she hadn't joined them for any off world trips. Lorne and SGA-2 had her assigned to them several times and Evan was beginning to suspect something was wrong.

* * *

Major Lorne's team along with Dr. Keller returned from their mission in the middle of the night and everyone was dog-tired. The men had accompanied Jennifer to a planet suffering from a rampant virus their healers couldn't handle. It'd taken 4 days to administer antibiotics and instruct the local healers on proper procedures to stem the spread of the disease. Colonel Carter had several Marines meet the team in the gate room and help carry the supply totes back to the infirmary.

Things were quiet in the city at this time of night and the lights were dimmed after midnight adding to the peaceful atmosphere. Sheppard stood in the back of the control room watching their return … making sure Jennifer made it home safely. It wasn't unusual to have Sheppard present or in the general vicinity of the gate room when teams left or returned so no one thought it unusual that he was there whenever Jennifer returned through the gate. He kept telling himself he was just concerned for an expedition member. But deep down he knew it was more. He missed her … missed her a lot.

Dr. Cole finished with Jennifer's return physical just as Evan finished and they headed to the door together.

"Come on, Jen, I'll buy you dinner. Colonel Carter had the kitchen make us a hot meal," Lorne invited putting an arm around her and guiding her in that direction.

"How can you even think about eating? I'm so tired I could sleep standing up," she moaned.

"You haven't eaten anything substantial in four days and I insist you eat something before you sleep away the next two days," Evan ordered. "Besides, I never see you anymore so indulge me tonight."

"As long as I don't have to carry on much of a conversation and can put my feet up," she conceded sighing.

Jennifer enjoyed eating with Evan and his men. She hadn't sat and carried on a conversation with friends in a long time and it felt good. Evan walked her to her room afterwards and ordered her to get some much-needed sleep.

"Come here little sister, I think you need a hug." Evan smiled as he held his arms open wide.

"How do you always know what I need?" Jennifer asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. She stood in his embrace for a long time soaking in his strength.

"I don't know what's going on little one but I'm always here if you need me," he promised holding her a bit tighter.

"Thanks … I know that and it's all that gets me through some days," she whispered. "I'm trying to work it out but if I can't I'll come looking for you."

Jennifer was close to tears so she broke off the hug and opened her door.

"Good night, Evan."

"Good night, Jen … sweet dreams."

Jennifer quickly entered her room and shut the door so he wouldn't see the tears. She thought she'd made it through the night without crying but then he had to go and say 'sweet dreams'. Those had always been the Colonel's words of endearment and she couldn't bear to hear them anymore.

She laid her head down on the pillow and was out in a matter of minutes. Sleep engulfed her solidly for a few blissful hours but then around 0400 hours she awoke gasping for air from a bad dream and decided she needed to walk it off.

Jennifer walked into the mess hall and fixed herself a cup of cocoa before moving over to her corner by the windows. She propped her legs up on the window ledge and stared out at the twinkling lights of the city. The grand view always made her feel so small, which wasn't helping her melancholy mood.

John had been awake for over an hour thinking about Jennifer and how much he missed her. It seemed to him that the longer he was away from her the more he desired her company … this was new to him and he didn't know how to deal with it. He finally decided to go for a walk knowing he'd never get back to sleep tonight.

Before long he found himself at the doors to the mess hall debating whether to go in. He just wanted to see if she was there, wanted to see if she was sitting in 'their' corner with her feet propped up. Curiosity won out over good judgment and he quietly opened the door and surveyed the room. He quickly poured himself a cup of coffee and went to join her.

"Hey, couldn't sleep?" Sheppard asked as he pulled up a chair.

"Hey yourself," she answered softly. "Slept for a few hours but a bad dream shook me up." Jennifer was pleased to see her old friend and thankful he'd joined her.

"Heard it was a difficult mission, you okay?" John asked concerned.

"We lost a few people … several children," she answered quietly as a tear escaped down her cheek. She knew she'd see those little faces for many nights in the weeks ahead making sleep near to impossible.

"I'm sorry. If it's any consequence, I'm sure your presence kept the death toll from rising. You did good, Doc.," Sheppard said sincerely wanting to take her in his arms and hold her through the night.

They spent a while looking out at the city together lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Jen felt herself start to drift and stood moving her chair back where it belonged.

"Well, I think I'll head back and see if I can fall asleep again. Thanks for the company," she said with a slight smile.

"Sweet dreams, Doc," he wished her.

"I've missed you, John," she whispered before turning and walking out of the dining room.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

* * *

Chapter 16

Jennifer and Marie finished their weekly check of the morphine vials and were pleasantly surprised to find no shortages.

"Looks like the deadbolt worked," Jennifer exclaimed, hugging Marie. "It's about time something went right."

"I'll put everything away and lock up," Marie offered, pleased to see Jennifer smiling. She'd noticed her friend becoming more and more withdrawn lately and was worried for her.

"Thanks Marie, I'll write up a report for Major Lorne and let Colonel Carter know the good news."

Major Lorne was off world for the day so she wrote a brief description of their findings and stuck it in his mailbox. It felt good to have this finally resolved and decided she'd celebrate with a hot meal tonight instead of eating in her office. SGA-1 was off world so there wasn't any worry of running into Colonel Sheppard. She was thoroughly enjoying her day.

* * *

Corporal Jeremiah Norton finished eating a late lunch and headed to his quarters to get ready for his shift. Norton had been on Atlantis for almost two years working with the support staff for most of his tour. He'd had opportunities the past year to transfer out to a different posting but he enjoyed the anonymity this job offered. No one paid any attention to the janitorial staff.

Norton had a plan for his life and he wouldn't tolerate anything or anybody getting between him and his goal. Being on Atlantis afforded him the luxury of banking almost every penny of his salary and the added hazard pay was frosting on the cake. Another year at this rate and he'd be able to leave this hellhole and buy a decent bar anywhere he wanted. His life's ambition was to be his own boss and call his own shots. Once he left the Marines he planned on never following another order in his life.

He'd signed up for a three-year stint in the Marines but realized after boot camp he'd probably need to re-up at least once to have enough money for his own business until he'd accidentally stumbled across the unguarded drugs lying around the infirmary. It'd turned out to be a goldmine and he quickly realized with the added income he'd be able to retire much sooner than he thought. That is until the CMO started putting her nose where it didn't belong.

Norton had been helping himself to the morphine for well over a year now without any problems. He used his supply for his own needs and for a small clientele of Lanteans willing to pay a high price for an occasional break from reality.

Once he donned his janitorial overalls, Norton had unquestionable access to almost any part of the base he wanted so moving in and out of the infirmary was no problem. The high and mighty doctors and nurses never gave him a second look. Hell, they never gave him a first glance or even the time of day. He mopped his way unchallenged in and out of the supply room anytime he wanted until the locks were installed.

When Norton first discovered the lax security in the supply room he set about to wine and dine one of the lonely nurses to do his biding. He studied all of the newly recruited personnel looking for the most vulnerable and the rest was easy. All it took was a little sweet-talking and a few little gifts and he had Nurse Stephanie eating out of his hands. Not only did he have her stealing the vials for him but she'd change the inventory log in the database as well. It was a sweet deal for him until little miss CMO got wise to the missing drugs and put a stop to the computer access. Nurse Stephanie transferred back to Earth shortly afterwards forcing Norton to do his own dirty work. Still … it'd been a great little racket he had going and he wasn't about to let Keller put a stop to it.

He was able to get around all the safeguards she'd implemented until the deadbolt. It'd been easy to slide into the supply room late at night when he was cleaning and help himself to whatever he wanted. When they actually started keeping a record of all their drug supplies he'd started taking what he'd wanted from the field kits. When they'd put a lock on the door he laughed at how stupid they were. Anyone with a minimum of instruction could pick a lock; did they think he was ignorant? But the deadbolt was another story. After all this time he wasn't about to close up shop. He wasn't about to let Keller take his dreams away … not without a fight.

Norton had been without a fix for a couple days and was getting desperate. He used up the last of the vicodin he had on hand and there wasn't enough alcohol in the Pegasus to take the edge off anymore. He needed a fix soon.

I'd been over a week since he'd found the supply room open and unattended. He'd been forced into making daytime raids when the locks were open for convenience but he knew his luck wouldn't last. He needed to go back to his late night break-ins.

Norton needed to find a key to the deadbolt or it was all over for him. Knowing Keller had to have one he was determined to get his hands on it before the night was over.

* * *

Dr. Keller took some time for herself after work and jogged one of her favorite circuits around the east pier. It'd been weeks since she'd taken time for a run and it felt good. After cleaning up she went down to the mess hall to have her first hot meal of the week. She took her tray and found a table by the windows so she could enjoy the view.

"Hey Doc, do you mind if we join you?" Seth asked as he and Marie approached her table.

"Please, I'd love the company," Jennifer answered cheerfully. "So, what're you two doing this evening?"

"We borrowed the first season of _Roswell_ from Katie Brown and thought we'd start it tonight. Are you interested?" Marie asked excitedly.

"I've never seen it but Evan talks about it all the time," Jennifer said. "I thought I might go back to the infirmary and work on some patient files but thanks for the invite."

"Come on, Doc, you work too hard. Come spend a couple hours with us and I'll bring dessert," Sergeant Clark insisted grinning.

"Okay, as long as you don't think I'll be a third wheel," she said smirking.

"Not at all, this can be our reward for our first week with a perfect inventory," Marie suggested.

"This isn't something that's going to put me on the couch in my office for the night is it?" Jennifer asked warily. "You know, the need for lots of lights and people milling around."

"Teenage alien angst at it's best," Marie grinned.

"I'm in," she chuckled.

Jennifer really enjoyed her evening with Marie and Seth, in fact, it was the best day she'd had in a long time. Maybe things were turning around for her, she hoped. Jennifer's quarters were just down the hall from Marie so she could almost open her door before Marie could close her own.

She was still laughing at something Marie had said as she approached her door sliding her hand over the sensor to open it. Stepping across the threshold she froze. Sensing something was wrong she backed up and quickly returned to Marie's quarters to get Seth.

Sergeant Clark pulled out his sidearm as he entered Jennifer's quarters. After thoroughly searching her room, Seth gave her the all clear and Jennifer walked into what used to be her quarters. Every thing she owned was tossed around, most of it landing on the floor.

Clark notified Colonel Carter of the break in and she requested a security detail to help with the clean up and then stand guard as a precaution. Seth helped her look through everything checking to see if anything was missing.

Jennifer couldn't understand why anyone would do this or what, if anything, they might have been looking for. It's not like anyone carried money on the base and she owned nothing of value unless someone was interested in her _Sliders_ DVD collection.

Seth picked up her mattress and was putting it back on her bed when he heard a sharp intake of breath. Turning quickly, he found Jennifer behind him examining the items that'd been beneath the mattress. "Are you okay?" he asked concerned.

Jennifer was kneeling on the floor sifting through the fragments of a broken snow globe. It'd been a present from her Dad their last Christmas together.

"My Dad gave me this so I'd remember winters at home," she softly explained as she began to cry.

"Maybe he can send you another one," Seth suggested, trying to help.

"Not this time," she whispered.

Jennifer brushed the tears away as she collected the broken pieces. Sitting back on her heels, she picked up the base and wound up the music box. Clutching the broken pieces to her chest Jennifer lost herself in memories of the past year. The highs and lows were just too extreme threatening to drive her over the edge.

In the midst of her sorrow, Jennifer finally registered Evan's voice calling to her.

"… Jen, are you hurt?" he urgently asked pulling her out of her thoughts.

"What … no, I'm fine," Jennifer answered snapping herself back to reality. "When did you get back?" she asked.

"We just got back and Colonel Carter told me what happened," Evan explained. " Jen, you're bleeding," Evan growled prying her hands open and pushing the glass to the floor.

"I'm … sorry … I didn't notice," she stammered.

Lorne pulled her to her feet and put his arms around her holding her in a tight hug.

"They broke everything, everything I treasured. Why would they do that?" Jennifer began to sob at the loss of her precious gifts from her father.

Lorne looked at the pile of broken picture frames and nick knacks noting they'd been smashed in the middle of her bedroom floor. They hadn't been swept off her dresser or desk but rather purposefully thrown to the floor in what looked like a fit of rage.

"Come on, let's get you to the infirmary and have your hands looked at," Evan coaxed turning her toward the door.

Lorne instructed Clark to have pictures taken of everything and then put some order to the room so she could sleep tonight.

* * *

SGA-1 returned early from their mission and went directly to their debriefing knowing it would be a short meeting. Colonel Carter asked Sheppard to stay a moment afterwards so she could inform him of Jennifer's situation. He was shocked someone had targeted her and wanted to know how Jennifer was doing. He could always ask Lorne for the details later but needed to see for himself. He left immediately to find her.

Jennifer and Evan were sitting on the couch in her office when he walked in. The Colonel hesitated at the doorway knowing he'd no right to intrude on her life especially since he'd pushed her away but he reasoned he was concerned about the safety of his CMO and charged ahead.

"Are you okay?" Sheppard asked squatting down in front of her so he could see into her eyes.

"I'm fine, Colonel," she replied.

Lorne was sitting beside her and felt her tense as Sheppard entered the room. He wasn't sure what was going on between the two of them but knew it was hurting her.

"Is there a security detail stationed outside her quarters?" Sheppard asked looking at his 2IC.

"I can't go back there," Jennifer said shaking her head. "I'll stay here in my office tonight."

"Move the detail here to the infirmary," Sheppard ordered.

Lorne stood to leave nodding slightly at Sheppard to join him. The two men moved outside Jennifer's office so they could talk freely.

"Most of Jennifer's personal items were purposefully taken to the middle of her bedroom and smashed on the floor. It looked very personal and very angry," Lorne explained.

"I want security with her at all times. I'll leave it to you to set up their shifts," Sheppard hissed angry that something like this could happen on base.

Sheppard took a deep breath to calm himself then returned to Jen's office. Resuming his position in front of her he began asking her questions.

"Jennifer, is there any reason someone would go through your room like that?" he inquired quietly.

"No, I don't keep anything valuable here on Atlantis. At least not valuable to anyone but me," she stated sadly. "I don't understand how they got into my room," she wondered out loud.

"Do you keep your room locked normally?" he asked.

"Yes, I've always locked my door," she declared.

"I'll see if McKay can figure out who accessed your room," he assured her. "What happened?" John asked as he gently looked at the bandages across her palms.

"I cut them on my snow globe," Jennifer remarked distractedly.

"Snow globe?"

"My Dad gave it to me for Christmas last year. Something to remind me of home," she explained sadly. "I guess I cut my hands on the glass shards."

"Do they hurt," Sheppard asked softly as she gently rubbed her fingers.

"I'm okay, Colonel Sheppard," Jennifer said as she slowly pulled her hands back. She knew he was concerned for her as a friend but she couldn't handle the feel of his touch without wanting it to be more. "You should probably get your return physical taken care of and get something to eat. I assure you I'll be fine," she insisted.

"Jennifer, I'm so sorry, are you sure you're okay?" John asked gently squeezing her arm.

"John, you need to go," she implored. "It's just too hard having you comfort me right now," she added as a tear escaped down her cheek.

John took a long look then gave a nod and left. He's the one who set the rules, he reasoned. He had no one to blame but himself.

He went to check in with Major Lorne and look at Jennifer's quarters. The men had put most of it back together but Sheppard could still tell the place had been tossed. Like everyone else, he had no idea why anyone would've torn her room apart. What had him the most concerned was the way her things had been destroyed. He didn't like the idea of someone having a grudge against her.

"Major, find anything interesting?" Sheppard asked as he entered.

"No sir, it's rather a mystery," Lorne answered.

"What's all this blood from?" he asked concerned.

"I found Doc clutching a handful of glass from a keepsake her dad had given her," Evan explained pointing to the remaining pieces he'd put aside on the dresser. "She wasn't even aware she was cutting herself … made quite a mess," he added looking at the blood on the floor. "Fortunately, it looks worse than it is."

"You'll check on her later, Major?" Sheppard asked.

"Yes sir, I'm heading that way as soon as we're through here," Lorne confirmed.

"Thanks Lorne," Sheppard said as he headed toward the door. He knew Evan would keep an eye on her, make sure she was safe.

Corporal Norton sat in his room fuming. He'd scoured Keller's quarters and come up empty. It never occurred to him that he wouldn't find the key. He'd made no back up plan. Regardless of the outcome, he was in desperate need of something to feed the pain screaming through his body. Security was tight tonight but tomorrow he'd find a way into the supply room during the day when no one would expect it. Just a few more hours, he could wait that long.

Major Lorne picked up Jennifer's blanket and pillow placing them on top of the extra clothes and toiletries he'd packed in the small bag. Turning the lights off in her quarters he entered the hallway heading toward the infirmary.

When Evan reached Jennifer's office he found her curled up in the corner of the couch. Taking off his jacket and boots, Lorne grabbed the blanket, turned the lights out and moved over to the couch.

"Jen … move over," Evan whispered shaking her gently.

"Evan?"

"Yes … move over Missy you're hogging the couch," he urged.

Jennifer scooted over letting Evan settle himself in the corner before she moved over snuggling into his side resting her head on his chest. Jennifer was extremely thankful her couch was so roomy.

"Thank you Evan," Jennifer sighed, hoping there was some truth to the thought that not sleeping alone would somehow ward off bad dreams

"Go to sleep Jen," Evan whispered. "We'll figure it all out in the morning."

* * *

_AN :Thank you so much to all of you who are faithfully following John and Jennifer on this journey. I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

_

* * *

  
_

Chapter 17

Jennifer grabbed her bag heading for the infirmary showers to get ready for the day. Major Lorne had already left for an early morning mission off world after spending the night with her on her office couch. Yesterday had started off so promising and even ended on an enjoyable note with Seth and Marie but then things went downhill fast when she returned to her room. "Plenty of time to think about that later," she thought to herself. The Daedalus would be docking on the east pier and recruits would be flooding the city before noon. If she hurried she could grab a little breakfast before the long day began.

* * *

Corporal Norton lay in bed planning his day. After trashing Keller's room last night he'd visited a couple of his "customers" promising new product soon. Today he had to score some morphine to keep everyone happy. With the Daedalus beaming new recruits in all day he was confident the confusion would give him the perfect cover allowing him ample opportunities to sneak into the supply room and take what he so badly needed.

* * *

Jennifer loaded up a light breakfast and joined Seth and Marie at their table.

"Good morning," Jennifer greeted as she sat down.

"Glad you're taking time to eat, looks like it'll be a long day," Marie announced smiling. "What happened to your hands?"

"It's nothing, I cut my hands on some shards of glass cleaning up last night. See… ," Jennifer explained flexing her hands as she moved them back and forth. "Only one deep cut and it only took two stitches."

"Did you find anything missing from your room?" Marie asked.

"It looks like everything is there although "they" broke a lot of my personal things I can't replace," Jennifer sighed.

"I'm so sorry, I should've had you stay with me last night, you shouldn't have been alone," Marie said apologetically.

"Thank you, Marie, but I slept in my office and Major Lorne stayed with me so I wasn't alone. I'm not quite ready to go back to my quarters yet," Jennifer answered sheepishly.

"Will your shadows be with you all day?" Marie smiled pointing to the two Marines sitting at the next table.

"I guess so but I really don't think it's necessary." Jennifer frowned.

"Until we know why someone broke into your room it's best to err on the side of caution," Sergeant Clark explained.

"I understand. Well, I'd better get things ready for the recruits," Jennifer said. "Gentlemen, are you ready?" Jennifer asked her escort as she rose to leave.

"I'll be right behind you," Marie concurred.

* * *

Corporal Norton walked by the infirmary every hour waiting for an opportunity to slip in unnoticed. Security guards were posted just inside the doors, which irked him. He assumed it was for Keller. He decided to wait an hour and then slide in with his cart while they were still busy with recruit physicals.

Moving down the corridor to the janitorial closet Norton loaded up his cart and filled his mop bucket with cleaning solution. Taking his gun out of its holster he slipped it in between cleaning towels where it'd be more accessible … just in case. Donning his overalls, he began to move down the corridor cleaning windowsills and wiping door panels as he neared the infirmary.

* * *

Jennifer finished with her patient and began cleaning up her work area waiting for the next batch of recruits. Major Jordan's team had just returned from their mission and was in need of attention. One of Jordan's men, Lieutenant Richards, had sustained a nasty leg wound, which Dr. Cole was working on. The rest of Jordan's men were spread out between the other two doctors getting their return physicals.

So far the day was moving along without getting too backed up, which pleased the whole staff. It was getting late in the day and Jennifer knew Lorne's team should be returning any minute plus they still had two more groups of recruits to check in. It'd be a long day for everyone but it was hard to complain when everything was progressing so smoothly.

One of the security guards approached Jennifer asking if the janitor could begin cleaning some of the areas not being used. Since there seemed to be a lull in activity, Jennifer gave her permission before moving on to set up the next exam station.

Norton moved his cart to the back of the infirmary and began emptying trashcans and syringe cylinders. As usual, no one paid him any attention and stayed out of his way. He took his time wiping off counters and mopping work areas hoping the traffic in the infirmary would pick up a little making him even less conspicuous. Seeing Major Lorne's team enter the front doors gave Norton the distraction he'd been hoping for and he quickly slipped inside the supply room bringing his cleaning cart with him.

* * *

Marie was helping Dr. Cole irrigate Lieutenant Richards leg wound getting it ready for suturing when Jennifer walked up to see how they were doing. From the look on Richards face it was evident he was in a fair amount of pain.

"Marie, could you grab a suturing tray and a local anesthetic for me," Dr. Cole asked her assistant.

"I'm free, I'll grab the anesthetic if you get the tray Marie," she offered.

Jennifer unlocked the medicine cabinet and finding it empty of anesthetic she went to get some out of the supply room to replenish the cabinet. It'd been such a busy day that the room was left unlocked, which was common practice during the day shift.

Jennifer opened the door and nearly tripped over the mop bucket just inside, she quickly scooted around it moving it to the side so the door would close. Scanning the room she spotted the janitor pushing a mop back and forth by the back wall.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry, I don't know your name," Jennifer said getting Norton's attention.

"Ah … Johnson, Sergeant Johnson," he lied.

"Okay, Sergeant Johnson, as much as I appreciate how clean you keep our infirmary, this isn't an area you're allowed in," she instructed trying not to offend the man.

"Sorry, I'm rather new to the day shift. I'll get out of your way," he said moving his mop bucket in front of the door again blocking her exit.

Walking past the field kits on her way to the extra supply of anesthetic Jennifer noticed one of the kits was open and looked rummaged through. Turning around to question the janitor about the bag she received the full blow of his fist to her face knocking her to the floor. Jennifer lay on the floor stunned from the blow trying to regain her senses.

Norton panicked looking down at the doctor, _what had he just done_? He hesitated for a moment deciding what to do next.

Jennifer's adrenaline kicked in and she frantically searched for something to use as a weapon. Pulling herself to her knees, she grabbed a metal bedpan off the shelf swinging it as hard as she could to his groin bringing the man to his knees.

Writhing in pain, Norton lashed out knocking her backwards into the shelving unit. Her act of aggression infuriated him into action. Instantly he was on her again pounding her with his fists over and over for ruining his life.

Jennifer was trying to protect herself using her arms as a shield to bear the brunt of the blows.

Determined not to die in the supply room she gathered what strength she had left and desperately tried to inflict some sort of pain digging at his face with her fingers tearing at his flesh.

Norton was out of his mind with rage. Pulling himself up he lunged for his cart reaching for the gun.

Jennifer took the moment of reprieve and pushed herself up she stumbled toward the door shoving the mop bucket out of the way. She'd managed to grab at the doorknob before she felt the first bullet hit her in the shoulder. As she was falling to the floor she heard another shot ring out feeling the bullet rip through her side. That was the last thing she remembered.

* * *

The security team was standing at the front of the infirmary reporting to Major Lorne when the first shot rang out. Before the second shot was heard all the military personnel in the infirmary were running toward the sound including a limping Lieutenant Richards. Lorne and his team along with the security detail were the first to reach the supply room just as Norton came out waving his gun. Not knowing what'd happened Lorne ordered him to stand down and drop the weapon. When Norton pointed the gun at Evan's head his men opened fire killing Norton instantly.

Evan leaped over the dead body hurrying into the supply room to discover Jennifer crumpled on the floor. Finding no other assailants in the room he called for help.

"The room is clear, get Cole in here," Lorne yelled checking for a pulse.

* * *

Colonel Sheppard and Carter were in the gate room welcoming the next batch of new recruits when their radios came to life.

"Multiple shots fired in the infirmary," the security guard announced urgently.

The new expedition members watched in confusion as Sheppard and Carter turned and ran at full speed out of the room.

"No, no, no, no … not Jennifer, please not Jen," John kept thinking over and over as he ran down the corridor.

Major Lorne knelt next to Jennifer as Dr. Cole worked on the other side of her battered body. Evan watched her drift in and out of consciousness trying to keep her awake.

"That's it Jen, look at me. Stay with me Doc … do you hear me Jen … you need to stay awake," Evan kept urging her swallowing back his own fear for her life.

By the time Sheppard and Carter made the short trip to the infirmary there was already a crowd of people spilling out of the doorway into the corridor waiting to hear what happened. The two muscled their way through the throng to the supply room. Sheppard wasn't prepared for the scene in front of him. He moved around and knelt at her head as Cole and Dr. Burns worked on stopping the flow of blood.

"Jennifer, you're going to be alright, do you understand? You're safe now and Dr. Cole is patching you up. You need to hang in there … no going to sleep Missy," Evan ordered.

Major Lorne was in control of the situation but on the inside he was frantic with worry. She didn't look good and he couldn't imagine losing his best friend.

John didn't know what to do with his hands. He needed to feel her… hold her hand …squeeze her arm … something. But there was so much blood and she was so battered and broken he was afraid to touch any part of her.

Jennifer kept drifting in and out trying to focus on Evan. He was talking to her but she couldn't hear anything but the sound of the ocean in her ears, which seemed odd to her. She just wanted to go to sleep but Evan seemed so determined to tell her something so she just kept staring at him.

Slowly she became aware of her surroundings, pain slamming into her making her almost lose consciousness.

"Evan?" Jennifer whispered.

"That's my girl. Dr. Cole's right here … you're going to be okay," he stated firmly, willing it to happen.

"Where's John?" she asked.

"I'm right here Doc," John said gently touching the side of her face.

Someone slid a stretcher in the doorway with a gurney waiting right outside the door. Dr. Cole looked out the door and nodded at Ronon to enter the room.

"We're ready to move her," Cole announced. "Colonel, I'll have you hold her head still as we lift. Major you and Dr. Burns lift on my call, be careful of her arm it looks like it might be broken. Ronon I'll have you lift with me," Cole instructed as she arranged the stretcher on the floor.

Jennifer moaned loudly then cried out as they lifted her onto the stretcher moving her out of the room. As they placed the stretcher on the gurney she thankfully slipped into unconsciousness. Burns and Cole wheeled her away to the operating room while Atlantis personnel stood in shock over what'd just happened.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. _

_**A/N**__: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

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Chapter 18

Major Lorne stood at the glass window above the operating room watching Dr. Cole finish the last of the suturing on Jennifer's face. No one looked frantic in the operating room, which he hoped was a good sign. He needed Dr. Cole to come tell them she'd be okay.

Sheppard moved between pacing and sitting with his head in his hands. If nothing else, the shooting had shown him how much he cared for the young doctor. He wasn't saying much but from the clenched jaw and constant frown he wore it was obvious to those around him he was worried.

"It's about time you got here," Lorne grumbled as Lieutenant Cadman walked in the door.

"Sorry, I just found out. How is she," Laura asked moving over to the window.

Laura inhaled sharply at her first glimpse of her best friend lying on the operating table. "What the hell … what'd he do to her?" she asked looking at Jennifer's cut and bruised face still covered with dried blood.

"There was quite a struggle before he shot her," Evan sighed watching Cole take her gloves off.

Dr. Cole came into the operating theater as they rolled Jennifer out of the operating room to settle her in the intensive care room.

"She did just fine," Dr. Cole began as everyone gathered around her. "The bullet wounds cleaned up nicely causing very little damage. The wound in her side was a through and through hitting nothing major in its path. The shoulder wound left the bullet lodged in her muscle, which will need some physical therapy once she recovers. Her left arm is fractured and her face is pretty beat up. Barring unforeseen complications, she should make a complete recovery physically. We'll keep an eye on her emotional state in the next week and deal with that when the time comes." Cole explained wearily. "She'll be out for about an hour. Marie is cleaning her up right now so give her another 15-20 minutes then you can sit with her. I realize she is very tight with your team, Colonel, so I'm limiting her visitors to SGA-1, Major Lorne and Lt. Cadman for the time being as well as you, Colonel Carter. "I'll leave it to all of you to see that she gets as much rest as possible," Dr. Cole instructed sternly.

"Thank you, Doctor, we're all very grateful," Lorne said speaking for all of them.

"Colonel Sheppard, please keep me informed on her progress and radio me as soon as she regains consciousness," Colonel Carter ordered as she left the room.

Sheppard slumped into a chair releasing the tension in his body while Ronon and Rodney went to grab a quick bite to eat before Jennifer woke up. Teyla sat with Laura quietly filling her in on all that'd happened.

Lorne took a deep breath and approached Sheppard determined to ask some frank questions.

"Colonel, Sir, permission to speak freely?" Lorne asked standing in front of his commanding officer.

"Go ahead, Major, what's on your mind," Sheppard replied standing up.

"John, is there anything going on between you and Doc?" he asked bluntly.

"No Major," he replied just a little too quickly. "Why do you ask?" Sheppard began to feel uncomfortable he did _not_ want to be having this conversation.

"I've noticed Jen's been rather tense in your presence lately and it appears she's been avoiding all contact with everyone yet when she was lying on the floor bleeding to death she asked for you. I know it's none of my business but I've been worried about her state of mind even before all this happened and I want to see her make a quick recovery."

"Doc and I've spent a lot more time together this past year and I consider her part of my circle of friends, as I do you, Major. Naturally, I'm concerned for her well being," Sheppard explained.

"Thank you Colonel, I appreciate your honesty," Lorne said knowing there was more to it than friendship.

Sheppard excused himself to check in with the control room before he went to see Jennifer. As he walked down the corridor he mentally kicked himself for not owning up to his feelings. But he'd only just realized himself how he felt about her and wasn't ready to share that with his 2IC just yet.

* * *

The team along with Lorne and Cadman assembled themselves in her room keeping vigil until she woke up. She'd slept most of the night waking occasionally acknowledging her friends around her bed. John stayed as long as he could without raising suspension leaving near dawn to check in with the control room. Ronon left with him telling Lorne he'd be back in the morning. Laura woke Rodney in the middle of the night sending him to bed and excused herself shortly afterwards to get some sleep as well before her shift. Lorne suggested she sleep in his room since he'd be with Doc all night. Laura usually bunked with Jennifer when she was in Atlantis but was a little freaked out about all that had happened and was grateful to Lorne for his offer.

Lorne stretched out as much as he could in his chair pulling up another chair to prop his feet on. He was able to sleep some off and on during what was left of the night.

Jennifer felt herself pulled into a deep dream filled sleep with dogs and men trying to grab her. She started running through darkened streets hearing the dogs panting at her heels. Then the dream switched to her Dad handing her a present beautifully wrapped in Christmas paper. He was smiling at her full of life and the two of them were laughing about something. She unwrapped the present and beamed with joy at the beautiful snow globe. Turning it over to make the snow fly it slipped out of her hands and crashed to the floor shattering into a hundred pieces. She cried out and looked up to find her father gone and the night was pitch black. Jennifer started to spin round and round looking for anything to give her direction but all she could see was darkness. She reached out with her hands trying to feel her way to safety when out of the darkness someone grabbed her throwing her to the ground. She couldn't see anything but she could feel fists punching her…lots of fists hitting and punching her over and over. She kept trying to pull away and fight back but there were just too many of them.

Evan came out of his chair with the first scream. Jennifer was thrashing and calling out for help. Lorne tried to hold her back but it only made her twist harder.

Dr. Cole had been sleeping in the infirmary and came running into the room. She joined Lorne holding Jennifer down trying to get her awake. The nurse brought in an ammonia capsule and broke it running it under her nose to wake her up.

Jennifer looked around wildly settling down finally when she recognized Evan's voice and registered where she was. "Oww." she moaned, "I'm sorry," she called grimacing at the pain.

"Looks like she's pulled her stitches loose," Dr. Cole declared watching the blood soak into her scrub top. "I'll need to get her under the scanner and make sure she hasn't made her arm worse. Major, please make sure she doesn't move and I'll get the portable scanner and a suture tray."

"Jennifer, are you okay?" Evan asked once she calmed down.

"Bad dream. Really bad dream," she growled.

Dr. Cole returned moving the portable scanner into the room followed by the nurse on duty. Evan slipped out stretching his legs while they worked on her. Strolling out into the hallway he spotted Sheppard heading his way.

"What's going on?" Sheppard asked as he approached the Major.

"Doc had a nightmare, pulled her stitches loose. Dr. Cole's working on her now," Evan explained.

"You had a mission scheduled in a couple hours but I pushed it out a day. I'll let you notify your men," Sheppard informed him. "Will you be able to get some rest soon?"

"Ronon and Teyla are coming to sit with her after breakfast so I can sleep then," Evan replied.

"Why don't you go now, I'll sit with her till they get here," Sheppard offered.

"If you don't mind, it'd be nice to stretch out," Lorne accepted gratefully.

Sheppard walked into the infirmary meeting Dr. Cole on the way.

"Good morning, Colonel," Dr. Cole greeted as she approached. "Dr. Keller apparently had a bad dream and pulled her shoulder stitches loose. I've checked her arm and it's okay but I've secured it to her body to keep it immobile. Will you be sitting with her?"

"Yes, I'll be here for a few hours," he confirmed.

"At her request I've cut back on her pain meds hoping to curb the dreaming. The drugs have always had a negative effect on her body but I'm not sure how much added pain she'll be able to endure. Let me know if you need anything, I'll be resting just outside the door," she explained. "Oh, and Colonel, if she comes up swinging hold her down as best you can and call me. Jennifer's our only patient so feel free to yell as loud as you want if you need me."

Sheppard slipped into Jennifer's room trying not to disturb her. Settling into Lorne's chair he took a few minutes to look over her injuries. He'd been in enough skirmishes to know she was hurting and he felt helpless to ease her pain.

"Evan?" Jennifer called sensing someone beside her.

"It's me, Jennifer. Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?" he asked.

"Thanks Colonel, I hope you sent him to bed," she sighed.

"Are you doing okay? Dr. Cole said you cut back on your painkillers. Do you think that's a good idea?" Sheppard asked concerned.

"I don't tolerate them very well, started having nightmares already."

"Try to get some sleep, Doc. I'll be here if you need anything," Sheppard assured her.

Jennifer drifted off into a fitful sleep. Her body couldn't relax with the lower dose of painkillers. Soon she began dreaming again.

She was working in the infirmary checking on patients as they slept. It was a quiet night but she could hear unfamiliar noises. Walking toward the front of the infirmary she saw a shadow off to her right. Whirling around she came face to face with her attacker. Jennifer backed away then took off running through the infirmary yelling for help. No one was listening to her, no one would help her. Norton reached out and grabbed her hair pulling her backwards off her feet. Jennifer tried to push away from him but he pounced on her hitting her again and again without mercy. All she could do was raise her arms up to protect her face and kick at him hoping to connect with a lucky thrust.

John startled awake watching Jennifer thrash and kick in her sleep. She kept calling for help and jabbing at the air with her free arm. He jumped up and put his hands on her shoulders trying to hold her down all the while yelling for Dr. Cole.

"Jennifer, stop," Sheppard called to her gruffly. "You need to hold still," he insisted holding her tighter.

After a few moments Sheppard could feel her thrashing lessen.

Jennifer opened her eyes and inhaled deeply trying to calm herself.

"I'm awake, I'm awake Colonel," she whispered as tears spilled over her cheeks. "Can you get Dr. Cole? I'm hurting really bad," she said beginning to sob.

"I'm here Jennifer. I'm giving you another pain shot," Cole explained giving her the injection.

"Colonel, you need to get me out of here. I saw him, he's here," Jennifer pleaded panicking.

"Who's here?"

"The janitor, Sergeant Johnson, he's waiting for me. I don't want to be here John," Jennifer sobbed.

"He's not here, Jennifer. The janitor is dead, he can't hurt you again," he assured her.

"I saw him," she whispered. "He's coming after me again."

"I'm right here, Jen. I won't let him touch you," Sheppard promised watching her drift as the painkiller kicked in.

* * *

Dr. Cole logged three more incidents of nightmares before noon and was becoming very concerned about Jennifer's emotional state. Each time Jennifer was convinced the janitor was in the infirmary waiting to attack. Sharing her concerns with Colonel Carter, the women worked together to come up with a course of action that would ease Jennifer's fears.

Colonel Carter talked with Colonel Caldwell explaining Jennifer's condition and Dr. Cole's concerns. The two agreed that transferring Jennifer to the Daedalus infirmary was worth a try. The Daedalus would be docked in Atlantis for another four days, which would give Jennifer a good start toward healing if she could relax and rest.

Shortly after lunch Jennifer and Dr. Cole were beamed into the Daedalus infirmary. Hopefully the new surroundings would give Jennifer the advantage she needed to put her fears aside and heal.

* * *

General Landry sat in his office at the SGC reading Colonel Carter's report again, growing more and more concerned with Dr. Keller's state of mind. Picking up his phone, he called Walter asking him to find and bring him Dr. Keller's personnel file and mission reports for the past year.

Landry started with personal information in her file reading about her father's unexpected death then moving on to mission reports covering the highlights of the Bola Kai capture, kidnapping off world and dog attack ending with the current shooting and the events leading up to it. After careful consideration he ordered Dr. Keller back to the SGC until she made a complete recovery.

Once the decision was made, General Landry scheduled a videoconference with Colonel Carter and the details were discussed. Carter mentioned the relationship Jennifer shared with Daniel Jackson suggesting he be informed of the decision knowing he'd want to be a part of her support system at the SGC.

* * *

Colonel Carter sat at Jennifer's bedside working up the courage to tell her she was going home. Sam knew she wouldn't be happy.

"Good morning Jennifer," Carter said as she pulled up a chair. "How are you feeling today? You're starting to get some color back."

"It feels kind of weird to be in the Daedalus infirmary although I will admit I haven't had any dreams about the janitor since moving here," Jennifer confessed. "I worry they'll forget to transport me back to Atlantis before they leave tonight," Jennifer chuckled.

"That's what I want to talk to you about," Samantha began hoping her friend would understand. "General Landry has ordered you back to the SGC for recuperation."

"Samantha, no … are you kidding? Please tell me you're just kidding," Jennifer cried. "This is my home Sam, please don't send me back."

"It's only temporary until they feel you're fit to resume your duties. Dr. Cole will be filling in for you while you're gone but this is just considered sick leave. You _will_ be coming back Jennifer. I wouldn't be sending you if I didn't believe that," Samantha explained trying to reason with her.

"What if they won't let me come back?" Jennifer asked as her eyes welled with tears.

"Jennifer, you've had an extremely difficult year and you need time to heal. You're my CMO and that won't change, you'll be back," Sam insisted. "Here are my keys," she said holding up a small key ring. "House and truck, Daniel will get you all situated once you're ready."

Jennifer nodded accepting her circumstances.

"It's time to take care of yourself," Samantha said softly as she squeezed her hand.

Colonel Carter made all the arrangements with Colonel Caldwell and took time to discuss everything with Laura knowing she'd take good care of Jennifer on the way back to Earth.

Marie packed up some of her belongings and even slipped in several Atlantis uniforms in case she did any work in the SGC infirmary. She didn't want anyone to forget that Dr. Keller was a part of the Atlantis Expedition.

Major Lorne delivered her bags to the Daedalus and sat with her for a while. He assured her the time would go by quickly and before she knew it she'd be home. He even promised to come see her if she wasn't home by the time his vacation rolled around. Evan finally gave her good shoulder a squeeze and kissed the top of her head before he headed out to find Lieutenant Cadman and say good-bye to her as well.

* * *

Jennifer resigned herself to the fact she was heading back to Earth. She refused to call it home. She couldn't remember the turning point, the exact time when everything changed and spiraled out of control. But here she was feeling broken and lost without a clue of how to fix it. She'd miss Atlantis…she'd miss John.

* * *

John sat in his room unwilling to engage in conversation with anyone. They'd sent Jennifer home before he could even tell her how he felt. They'd returned from their mission just hours after the Daedalus had left yet it may as well have been weeks. He didn't know how to fill the emptiness he felt. He was in unfamiliar territory and he missed Jennifer.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. _

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Chapter 19

Lt. Cadman finished her breakfast in relative silence thinking about Jennifer as the Daedalus sped through hyperspace on its way to Earth. Depositing her dirty tray in the bin and grabbing a couple extra fruit cups she made her way to the infirmary to see if Jen was awake for the day.

"Hey sweetie, how ya feeling today," Laura asked handing Jen the fruit cups. "I smuggled these out of the mess hall for you."

Jennifer smiled taking the offered gift.

"Seriously, how are you feeling today?" Cadman insisted.

"Ironically, I could use a shot of that morphine that put me in here," Jen grimaced.

"I know your body will heal but I want to know how your heart's doing,"

"I left it in Atlantis," she mumbled staring off into space.

"Did you leave it with anyone?" Laura asked suspecting there may have been something between her and Sheppard.

"No… nobody wanted it," she whispered.

"You'll get through this, Jen, I promise," Laura guaranteed.

Jennifer didn't remember much of her trip on the Daedalus. Laura spent all her free time at her bedside regaling her with snippets of gossip and daily menu options from the mess hall. In week two of the trip Laura began supplying her with desserts in the afternoon while they played gin rummy. Laura could tell her heart wasn't in it but she wasn't going to let Jen slip away without a fight. Her body was healing but her emotions were dying a slow death.

Jen was totally surprised one afternoon when her doctor informed her that they'd arrived and would be beaming her down to the SGC shortly.

"Hey sweet pea, you ready to get off this bucket of bolts?" Laura grinned as she entered the infirmary. "I got permission to be your official escort."

"Laura, I don't want to arrive in these pajamas," Jen frowned.

"Funny you should ask," Laura laughed "I went through your bag before they beamed it down and found this," she smiled pulling an Atlantis uniform out from behind her back.

Jennifer looked at the uniform and felt her eyes well with tears. "Marie must've packed my bags," Jennifer said gratefully. She stood up and walked to Laura putting her arm around her she hugged her firmly. "Thank you for everything," Jen whispered.

"Go get dressed and I'll do your hair before we leave," Laura instructed pointing her toward the bathroom.

Jennifer was a little slow getting dressed but was amazed at how much she'd healed in the short time it's taken her to get back to Earth. Her shoulder was stiff and sore but the wound had healed without infection and she was ready for physical therapy.

She felt a bit embarrassed about arriving at the SGC. She didn't know what to expect or even if they'd remember she was coming. Taking one last glance in the mirror she ran her fingers over the scars on her face wishing she had a bit more color in her complexion. The scars stood out drawing attention to her face. Looking at the way her uniform hung on her body surprised her. She hadn't realized how much weight she'd lost. "Moment of truth," she thought to herself as she joined Laura for the walk to the transporter room.

* * *

Vala came sliding into Daniel's office all aflutter and out of breath.

"She's on her way," Vala announced as she entered Daniel's office and lab.

Daniel looked up at the clock, moving quickly around the research table he hurried out the door. Halfway down the hall he realized he was alone and raced back to his office.

"Come on, we don't want to be late," he said reaching for her hand.

"No Daniel, I think you should go alone, we'll get reacquainted later tonight," Vala insisted knowing Jennifer might need some time to settle in. "Now hurry."

Daniel arrived, literally, as Jennifer and Laura beamed down. Jennifer was determined not to get emotional and she was true to her decision until she looked into Daniels' face and all control flew out the window. He walked up to Jennifer and pulled her into a warm embrace holding on for a long time.

"I'll leave you in Daniel's capable hands and go check in," Laura said brushing her hand over Jennifer's shoulder. "I'll find you later."

Holding her at arms length, Daniel looked her over taking in the scars and haggard look then pulled her close again.

"Okay, I promised Dr. Lam I'd deliver you as soon as you arrived, let's get you settled in," Daniel said moving her toward the corridor.

Dr. Carolyn Lam warmly welcomed Jennifer to the SGC and helped her get settled into the infirmary. After she'd rested for a while, Carolyn gave her a thorough check up and looked over the medical records she'd brought with her from the Daedalus.

"Jennifer, I'm really pleased with how well you're healing. I'd like to keep you in the infirmary tonight but then let's consider assigning you quarters on base out of the infirmary. I know how doctors hate being confined to a hospital setting," Dr. Lam offered smiling.

"Actually, I'd like to move off base as soon as you can approve my request," Jennifer stated. "Colonel Carter has offered to let me stay in her house and I can commute."

"I'll see what I can do to get that approved. Also, when you're well enough, I'd like to offer you a position here in the infirmary for as long as you're here. We can always use the extra help," Carolyn proposed.

"I appreciate your offer. It'd be nice to keep busy until I'm allowed to go home," Jennifer replied gratefully.

Dr. Lam welcomed her once again and suggested she get some rest.

Jennifer was feeling pretty wiped out and thought a nap sounded good while she waited for Laura to return.

She slept for quite some time choosing to skip dinner in lieu of a few more minutes of sleep. She was amazed at her lack of energy realizing it may take longer than she thought to feel like her old self again. Daniel and Vala came to visit for a while after dinner. It was good to see her old friends again. Daniel promised to come by again and check on her before he went to bed.

Laura dropped by later in the evening bringing her a light snack knowing she hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

"It's been a long day, how're you feeling? Still in need of that painkiller?" Laura asked concerned at how Jen looked.

"I didn't think it'd be so hard just walking from one infirmary to the other but I feel like I've been on a fifty mile hike. Did I mention I don't want to be here?" Jennifer said sarcastically.

"I expect you to bunk with me on my next trip to the Pegasus so suck it up and get better," she chastened.

"Sounds good to me, let's plan on it," she smiled, feeling good to have a goal.

"Sweet pea, you don't look so good," Laura said squeezing Jen's hand. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm ready for that pain shot," she said grimacing.

"I'll find a nurse on my way out. I'll be back in the morning," Laura assured as she stood to leave.

"Thanks Laura, for everything," she said sincerely.

"Sweet dreams," Laura said as she walked out to find a nurse.

If she hadn't already been thinking about Sheppard that would have started it. Didn't people understand those were always John's parting words? She missed him. Even if he didn't want her at least on Atlantis she got to see him. After receiving some pain medication she rolled over on her side facing the wall and let the tears flow as she drifted off to sleep.

Daniel woke in the middle of the night knowing he wouldn't be able to get right back to sleep so he dressed and went to check on Jennifer. It was quiet in the infirmary almost peaceful. Daniel caught the eye of the on-duty nurse and nodded toward Jennifer's bed.

Pulling up a chair he decided to sit for a few minutes but quickly drifted off to sleep. A short time later he was awakened by cries of anguish and watched as Jennifer thrashed and cried out in her sleep. Leaning over her, Daniel shook her shoulders and called to her trying to wake her up.

Jennifer woke up afraid and trembling. Another bad dream, another nail in her "you can't go home" coffin. Why did she have to have a nightmare in front of all her judges? She had visions of Dr. Lam checking the "not mentally stable" box on her evaluation form.

She sat up in bed wiping the sweat off her face and taking deep breaths. "Sorry," she whispered. "Hope I didn't say anything weird. I do this a lot especially when I've taken drugs."

"Just a lot of thrashing," Daniel said as he reached down to hug her. He decided not to mention she was calling out for John in her sleep wondering if it was John Sheppard she was seeking for help.

"I hate having a nightmare here in the infirmary, everyone's going to think I'm crazy or unstable at the very least," she complained.

"Relax Jen, it's just me and I've always known you're a bit crazy," he said jokingly. "Now lay back down and I'll sit with you till you fall back to sleep."

* * *

Jennifer received approval to move off base and commute back and forth during the week. Dr. Lam had set up a physical therapy schedule for her as well as appointments to see the base psychologist. Laura helped her get some groceries and open up the house before ordering some take out and watching a chick flick.

Jen felt at a loss when it came to healing. She knew she couldn't go home until she was completely well again but what did they expect from her. Dr. Lam even said she was healing quickly but Jennifer didn't know how to heal emotionally. What did that mean anyway? What were they looking for? At least at Sam's house she wouldn't feel like people were watching her every move.

Late in the evening the doorbell rang announcing the arrival of Daniel.

"What's going on guys?" Jennifer asked waking up on the couch where she'd fallen asleep watching the movie. "Daniel, why are you here? Sorry, that didn't sound very gracious," she frowned at how rude she sounded.

"I have the night shift," he grinned. "Laura's on duty tonight and we didn't want you staying alone your first night at Sam's."

"I'll be just fine," Jennifer groaned. "I'm sure you have better things to do than baby sit me."

"Hush and get ready for bed while I lock up," Daniel ordered walking Laura to the door.

Jennifer finished brushing her teeth then sat with Daniel on the couch while he channel surfed looking for something to watch.

They slipped into a familiar routine with Daniel coming over each evening for her first week until SG-1 was scheduled for a 2-day mission. And each night Daniel helped her through the nightmares that claimed her sleep with a variety of boogiemen. At the end of the week Jennifer thanked her friend profusely but felt strong enough to stay on her own.

* * *

Colonel Sheppard's team and Major Lorne's team were at a debriefing together after a two-day mission to a new trading partner. It was an uneventful mission and the briefing was short. As the meeting drew to a close Colonel Carter gave them an update on Jennifer's progress.

"Since we're all together I'd like to pass along a progress report I just received from the SGC on Jennifer. She arrived in good shape and already starting physical therapy. Dr. Lam was very pleased with her physical recovery," Samantha reported.

"So when can she come home?" Ronon asked.

"It's too soon to make any kind of prediction on her return. They want to be sure she's completely healed physically and emotionally. They agreed to give us weekly reports so I'll pass them along as I'm updated," she offered.

"Thank you Colonel, we are grateful for the news." Teyla nodded as she stood to leave.

The team members slowly filed out leaving Sheppard and Carter in the room alone. Sam could tell Sheppard had something on his mind so she lingered giving him an opportunity to speak his mind.

"Did they elaborate on her metal state?" Sheppard asked

"I had a conversation with Daniel on other matters and he mentioned that she seemed fragile. She's having nightmares again but they're keeping a close eye on her. It's going to take time, John," Samantha answered frankly. "Are you asking on a personal level?'

"Yes … thanks Sam," Sheppard said grateful for the added information as he left the room.

* * *

Jennifer was doing well with her physical therapy; she was almost back to a hundred percent on her range of motion. It took a little longer to get her strength back but each day seemed a bit better than the day before. By week three back on Earth she started working in the infirmary with Dr. Lam three half-days a week. It felt good to be back to work, to wake up with a purpose and goal was a real boost.

Her psychologist, Dr. Midland, recommended she start a daily journal so Jen went out and bought herself a little computer netbook to write in each evening. At first she didn't feel it was necessary. How many times did she need to write down "I miss John … I miss Atlantis", but she had to admit it felt good to express herself and eventually she started writing about other things as well.

Dr. Midland suggested that she look up old friends or family members but Jennifer just didn't feel any desire to see old acquaintances. She had an uncle she hadn't seen in years but quite frankly, didn't know what they'd talk about if they did get together. She liked the routine she'd fallen into and for the moment was content. Daniel kept hounding her to join them for movie nights or a night out at O'Malley's but she usually begged off. Lately Vala had joined the cause asking her to go shopping and join the girls for poker night but she felt like she'd be betraying her friends in Atlantis so she continued to shovel out excuses.

By her fifth week back at the SGC Jennifer was working a standard week in the infirmary easing their workload tremendously. Dr. Lam was amazed at what a talented doctor and surgeon she was; secretly wishing she could keep her. Dr, Midland felt she was making steady progress although she was far from what he'd describe as stable. At least she was moving in the right direction.

On Friday night of her first full week at the infirmary, Carolyn and Daniel insisted she join all of them for dinner at O'Malley's promising to have her home early. Seeing no easy way out, she agreed allowing Daniel and Vala to pick her up at Sam's house after work. She had to admit it was a very pleasant evening and she enjoyed getting to know Colonel Cameron Mitchell a bit better. If there were a betting pool going she'd put her money on Cam and Carolyn hooking up. Sitting with friends and watching everyone dancing and enjoying themselves reminded her of the fundraiser dance back home. It seemed like so long ago but thinking of all her friends all dressed up and having such a good time caused her to smile at such a wonderful memory. She missed her Atlantis family.

* * *

Colonel Carter found Sheppard and Ronon in the hallway about to enter the transporter when she asked to speak with the Colonel. She had bad news that his father had passed away suddenly from a heart attack.

John was stunned with the news. Packing a few things in a duffle bag he left through the stargate with Ronon at his side. The men were attending Patrick Sheppard's wake when they were pulled away on a matter of national security. They were involved in leading the search for a human-form replicator that was loose somewhere in the city. The search was being coordinated from the Apollo and once again Sheppard and Ronon found themselves in the middle of an unexpected situation.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. _

**_A/N_**_: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

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Chapter 20

Jennifer was looking forward to the weekend with the Daedalus finally arriving back from the Pegasus galaxy. Hoping to have Laura stay with her at Sam's house she'd stocked the house with junk food and chick flicks. She was ready for a little girl time and even felt strong enough to enjoy some late night double features.

Dr. Lam got the word early in the morning that the Apollo was seeking some medical assistance for a day, possibly two at the most. The SGC had teams on the ground working from the Apollo and they were requesting a surgeon on site in case they needed the extra help. Lam met with Landry and they decided it was time to turn Jennifer loose and see how she'd do on her own.

"Jennifer, could I talk to you in my office for a moment?" Dr. Lam asked.

"Sure, I'm just about through here and I'll be right with you," she answered wondering what the problem might be.

"The Apollo is requesting a surgeon for a day or two and I was hoping you could take the assignment. You'd need to leave today," Lam explained.

"I'd be happy to do that. It shouldn't take me more that thirty minutes to get ready," she replied making a mental list of things to do before she left. "Carolyn, thank you for the opportunity, I appreciate the confidence you have in me."

Lam had a lot more than confidence in the young doctor. Most of the time she stood in awe at the brilliant and skilled surgeon Jennifer had become. It puzzled Carolyn how authoritatively Jennifer moved around the clinic and operating room yet was so subdued in her personal life. Hopefully Dr. Midland was making progress in that area.

* * *

Jennifer heard the ruckus in the infirmary and pushed the data pad aside to go investigate. She'd been beamed onto the Apollo yesterday to stand by in case they needed an extra surgeon. Evidently, they had teams tracking a rogue replicator with supernatural strength. Thankfully, they'd just received news that the mission was a success and teams were returning. Jennifer assumed the disturbance had something to do with the mission.

"I said I'm fine," Ronon hissed at the nurse as she tried to attach a blood pressure cuff to his upper arm. "I don't need that," he continued slapping her hand away.

Jennifer approached and couldn't believe her eyes. "Ronon?" she exclaimed grabbing everyone's attention.

"Doc?' he questioned as he got off the bed and enveloped her in a big hug. "What're you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you," she declared laughing. "You sure are a welcome sight."

The medical staff took a step back and looked on in amazement. The fierce warrior they'd been fighting with for the last ten minutes reduced to a grinning pussycat by this wisp of a woman.

"If you don't mind, I'll take care of Mr. Dex," Jennifer said to the head nurse as she motioned for Ronon to return to the bed.

"I'd appreciate it," the nurse said mumbling something under her breath about giving Jennifer a week's pay if she'd take him off her hands.

Jennifer quickly took his vitals and checked for any obvious injuries. "I need to get you under the scanner and be sure there's nothing serious going on I may have missed," Jennifer concluded.

"I'm fine, Doc, but I'll do it if it'll make you happy," Ronon agreed.

Looking over all his test results, Jennifer was happy to see that he was, indeed, just fine.

"Looks like you're going to be sore with some major bruising and you did sustain a mild concussion but otherwise you're good to go," she reported smiling. Jennifer sat down on the bed next to her friend and situated herself sideways as the two began chatting.

"So … how are things at home?" Jen asked quietly.

Ronon hesitated as his radio came to life. "Ronon, this is Sheppard, where are you?"

"I'm in the infirmary," he answered gruffly.

"I'm on my way," Sheppard responded.

Turning to Jennifer Ronon continued their conversation. "Everything's the same on Atlantis. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye," Ronon said apologizing. "How're you feeling?" he asked taking her face in his hand and moving her side to side to examine her scares.

"There're fading," she whispered. "Still dealing with the emotional baggage. They want me in better shape before I come home," she sighed frowning. "Don't suppose you could fit me in your duffle bag?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Say the word and I'll blast our way out," Ronon offered smirking.

"I miss all of you," Jennifer signed as she leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder.

Ronon slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest trying to comfort her. "You'll be home soon or I'll come back and get you myself."

Jennifer laughed as she wiped the tears from her face grateful to have this man in her life.

"Hey, Chewie," Sheppard called as he pushed the curtain aside.

Ronon watched Sheppard come to a dead stop seeing Jennifer sitting on the bed with him. The two stared at each other and he wondered if something was going on between them.

"Doc?" John asked surprised. "Ah … what are you doing here?"

"I'm … ah … here for the day," she stuttered standing up.

Sheppard and Jennifer reverted back to staring at each other at a loss for words. Ronon thought he'd give them some space.

"I'll be in the mess hall," Ronon said as he turned toward the doors. "It was good to see you, Doc, keep working on getting home," he whispered squeezing her shoulders before walking away.

Jennifer turned to Sheppard not knowing exactly what to say. She began wringing her hands together wishing she didn't feel so awkward.

"I heard about your father, Colonel … I'm really sorry," she said sympathetically. "I know how hard it is to lose a parent."

"I appreciate the concern, it was pretty unexpected," John explained.

"Were you part of the team hunting the replicator?" Jen asked trying to calm her nervousness. She didn't know how to behave around him anymore. The last time they were together he'd pushed her away so now she had to figure it out all over again. Jennifer wasn't good at confrontation.

"We got pulled out of my father's wake, which really impressed my brother … again," John confided. "Seems like I continue to disappoint the family."

"I'm sorry, Colonel. I know if your brother knew the lives you've saved and the sacrifices you've made he'd be extremely proud of you." Jennifer placed a hand on his arm feeling the need to make some kind of contact.

"Well, I guess I need to be checked out before I can officially leave," Sheppard said awkwardly, feeling the need to change the subject.

"Let me get someone for you," Jen replied before leaving to find the doctor. "I'm going to go find Ronon in the mess hall."

* * *

Jennifer grabbed something to eat and joined Ronon at his table in the dining hall. Shortly afterwards Sheppard walked in and the three of them spent some time catching up. Late in the day they were given clearance to beam back to Cheyenne Mountain.

"Well, gentlemen, I need to pack up my gear and sign out of the infirmary. I'll meet you in the transporter room," Jennifer said standing to leave.

"I'll help you with your gear, Doc," Sheppard offered leaving with her. "We'll meet you in twenty minutes," he instructed Ronon hoping he'd have some time to talk to Jennifer.

She quickly got her things together and signed out thanking their doctor for his hospitality. Sheppard grabbed her bag and they left to meet Ronon.

"So Doc, how have you been feeling?" Sheppard asked as they made their way to the transporter room.

"I'm getting better every day. Thanks for asking, Colonel," she stated confidently.

"So I was wondering if you'd have time to meet with me once we get back to the SGC?" he asked hoping she'd be receptive to his request. "I was hoping you might know some private place we could sit and talk."

"Are you leaving right away or will you be here for a few days?" she asked.

"I'll probably be here for a day or two. I have some loose ends to tie up but I'm pretty sure Ronon will be leaving right away for Atlantis," Sheppard explained.

"You're welcome to stay with me if you'd like then maybe we can talk after my shift," Jennifer offered anxious to hear what was on his mind. "I've been living at Sam's and there's a guest room you can use. Otherwise, we can arrange a time and place to meet here on base."

"If you don't mind, I'd appreciate the guest room," Sheppard said gratefully.

* * *

"Daniel, would you mind giving Colonel Sheppard a ride to Sam's house on your way home tonight?" Jennifer asked smiling.

"Sure, no problem," Daniel replied happy for the opportunity to talk to the  
colonel in private.

"I left him in the control room but he'll wander this way when he's through checking in with Atlantis. We had a team return with injuries so I'm needed in the infirmary," Jen explained.

"Are you doing okay?" Daniel asked concerned for his friend.

"I think so. Colonel Sheppard wanted to talk to me about some things we sort of left unresolved so I invited him to stay in Sam's guestroom until he returns to Atlantis," she replied with a bit of worry in her voice.

"You know, he can stay with me or even on base if you're feeling uncomfortable at all," Daniel offered.

"I'm sure we'll be fine but thanks Daniel for the concern."

"Call me if you need me," he declared firmly.

Jennifer headed for the infirmary to give Dr. Lam a hand. Not only were they dealing with injuries but there were two more teams scheduled to return this evening that would be in need of return physicals.

Daniel sat stewing about Jennifer's unresolved issues with Colonel Sheppard wondering if he was the cause of the sadness she carried since returning from Atlantis. She held a special place in Daniel's heart ever since her days working at the SGC years ago. Daniel was very protective of Jennifer and their friendship.

Sheppard finished his videoconference with Colonel Carter and went to find Daniel.

"Dr. Jackson," Sheppard announced knocking on Daniel's doorframe.

"Colonel Sheppard, I heard you were wandering our halls," he answered moving to the open doorway to shake hands.

"Good to see you again Jackson. Dr. Keller tells me you'll be my ride tonight… hope you don't mind," Sheppard said.

"Not a problem, I just finished up here," he said as he grabbed his coat and car keys.

The two chatted about sports and earth related topics as they found their way to  
Daniels car and headed toward Sam's house. Upon arriving, Sheppard invited Daniel in for a beer or cup of coffee, which he immediately accepted hoping to get more information out of the Colonel.

"So … how is Jennifer doing?" John asked diving right into the conversation.

"She's getting better everyday, physically. Her scars are healing and Dr. Lam feels she's recovered nicely," Daniel explained.

"But …?" Sheppard asked frowning.

"I'm not sure she's made a whole lot of progress on an emotional level," Daniel added. "She still struggles with nightmares and is slow to let anyone get too close. "But she's better than when she first arrived so there's a small measure of progress."

"How so." Sheppard asked finding himself growing more and more agitated.

"I've know Jennifer for a long time, since she first came to the SGC just out of medical school. She was so positive and full of wonder. A refreshing change from the hard core military I'm used to dealing with," Daniel described. "When she arrived here over a month ago she was a very broken woman. The emotional healing is taking time. But she's trying harder to spend time with her friends."

"I appreciate all the help and support you've given her," he said gratefully. "She's had a very tough year."

"What are you doing here, John?" Daniel asked bluntly. "I can't help thinking you might be part of the problem."

"Why do you say that?" Sheppard asked feeling offended and guilty that it might be true.

"I sat with her every night her first week here and she had nightmares most of those nights. I held her through Wraith attacks, kidnappings and brutal beatings and every time she woke up screaming your name. Why is that John? Why was I rocking her back to sleep and not you?"

Sheppard stood up and started pacing. He walked the length of the room a couple times absently running his hand through his hair, a signature move for him when things turned difficult. He finally sat back down across from Daniel. "I really messed things up before she left Atlantis. I'm here to ask for forgiveness."

"Do you love her?" Daniel asked.

"Yes, it took her leaving for me to realize how much," Sheppard answered honestly for the first time.

"She's still pretty fragile," Daniel noted.

"I realize that. I'm hoping to have a second chance," John confessed.

"Fair enough," Daniel replied as he stood to leave. "I better see a smile on her face in the morning or you'll have a whole other galaxy to answer to," he warned.

John walked him to the door and the two shook hands.

* * *

Sheppard sat back on the couch replaying all the things Jackson had said.

_Why wasn't I here? _he asked himself. _Why did I leave it to someone else to take care of her? _

John couldn't believe he'd messed things up so badly. He was desperate for a second chance. He didn't know what it'd take but he was determined to bring Jennifer home with him.

He wandered into the kitchen looking for something to drink. As he headed back to the living room the phone rang. John hated answering other people's phones so he let it go to the answering machine.

"Hi Colonel, it's Jennifer, I'm running really late. We're still backed up in the infirmary and I'm sure I'll be at least another couple of hours. Why don't you get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning. I've taken the day off so sleep in and we'll have a late breakfast."

Listening to the message as it recorded he felt disappointed she was going to be so late. He really wanted to talk to her tonight but maybe it'd be better to do it when she wasn't so tired. Whatever it took he wasn't leaving Earth without her.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful._

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Chapter 21

Security had standing orders to walk Jennifer to her car when she worked late. She hated to impose on people but knew there'd be hell to pay if anyone found out she made the trip alone. After saying good night she drove to an all night market and purchased enough groceries to get her through breakfast and lunch.

Jennifer started thinking about John on the drive home wondering what he could possibly want to talk about. They'd pretty much parted ways long before the attack so he couldn't possibly be feeling guilty about that. Maybe he was having a hard time with his father's death and just needed someone to talk to, she reasoned. As much as she'd like to help, it was still too hard to be near him. Jen hoped he wouldn't be staying long.

After parking the car, she quietly opened the kitchen door setting her groceries on the counter. Jen quickly put everything away and made herself a cup of tea hoping it'd relax her enough to get to sleep quickly. Thankfully John was already in his room for the night. Jennifer carried her tea with her as she turned off all the lights on her way to the bedroom leaving a small table lamp on in the living room in case her nightmares chased her out of her bed tonight.

After washing her face and brushing her teeth Jennifer crawled into bed with her book and the last of her tea. In a matter of minutes she started to drift and turned the light out. Hopefully she'd be able to sleep through the night knowing she wasn't alone in the house.

* * *

Sheppard sat straight up in bed reaching for his gun that wasn't there. It took a few moments to realize where he was before he jumped out of bed looking for the source of the screaming.

He raced into Jennifer's bedroom finding her sitting sideways on the far side of the bed, feet on the floor with her head in her hands trembling. He reached out to comfort her only to have Jen jump up swinging and yelling at him to get away. John was doing his best not to hurt her as he tried to grab hold of her wrists.

Jen hit him solidly in the face then shoved him as hard as she could before running toward the door, away from her attacker. It was dark in the bedroom and she stumbled over a pile of clothes hitting the floor and the corner of the door sending shooting pains through her head. Groaning loudly, she continued to rapidly crawl through the doorway and into the hall looking for a way of escape.

Sheppard pushed himself off the window seat where Jennifer had shoved him and hurried after her into the hall. He tried to reach down and scoop her up when she connected with a kick to his kneecap. Thankfully she was in such a position that the kick didn't pack enough momentum to do any damage but it did cause him to pause long enough for her to get away.

She made it to the living room and looked around wildly for some kind of weapon and someplace to hide. She was in such a panic that she couldn't hear John calling her name trying to calm her down. Halfway to the kitchen she felt arms encircle her from behind and pull her off her feet. She continued to squirm and thrash trying to get away but her attacker had her arms pinned to her sides and she knew she'd lost the struggle.

John could feel the fight leave her and he slowly set her feet on the floor. When she didn't resist he felt it was safe to let her go all the while talking to her softly, reassuring her she was okay. Sheppard was totally engulfed in his own set of emotions wanting to hold her and chase away the nightmare.

Jennifer slowly turned and began backing away cowering and holding her hands in from of her face protecting herself. When she hit the back wall she slid to the floor and curled into herself sobbing. Realization finally sunk in that she was in Sam's house and she'd had a nightmare.

"I'm sorry … I'm so sorry," Jennifer cried as she held herself rocking back and forth. "Will I ever be normal again?" she sobbed.

John reached down and pulled her up and into his arms. He had a hard time holding on as she began hitting him and trying to push him away.

"I'm not letting go," he whispered getting a better grip.

"Where were you? Why didn't you come for me?" she cried throwing her pride to the wind. "I can't do this alone, I can't find my way home," she sobbed trying to push away again.

"I'll show you the way," he sighed rubbing her back.

Jennifer buried her head in his chest frantically grasping his t-shirt. "Don't let go," she implored. "Not tonight."

John wanted to declare "not ever" but knew she needed more than declarations from him right now. He needed her forgiveness before they could start building something to last a lifetime and he wasn't letting go till she listened to all his groveling.

He reached down and picked her up heading back to the bedroom. John put her in the middle of the bed then went looking for a box of tissues. Finding some in the bathroom he returned and found her trying to get out of bed.

"I can't sleep in here tonight," she whimpered as he handed here some Kleenex.

"Yes, you can," he answered as he turned out the light and got in bed pulling Jennifer in close wrapping her in his arms. He rubbed her back and whispered words of assurance until they both fell asleep.

* * *

John woke first thinking it must be late morning by the amount of light that was streaming in around the edges of the shades. He knew he should probably get up and shower but liked the feel of Jennifer draped across his body so he lingered in bed enjoying the contact.

As Jennifer began to stir, John gently lifted her arms and slid out from under her trying not to wake her completely. Tucking her back in he leaned over and whispered not to get up yet, hoping she'd sleep longer. Before he went to shower he walked out to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. Back in the bathroom he rummaged around until he found a clean washcloth, which he soaked with the water. Returning to the bedroom he placed the cloth over Jennifer's eyes knowing she'd have one hell of a headache from all the crying.

"Lay still," he ordered as he arranged the cold cloth over her eyes. "I'll let you know when the shower's free."

* * *

Shutting off the water, John quickly dressed heading to the kitchen to start breakfast. He couldn't help but worry about Jennifer's state of mind. She'd been so upset with him last night and he wasn't exactly sure how to make things right between them.

Jennifer woke completely but wasn't ready to get up. Her emotions were all over the place the strongest one being embarrassment. "He must think I'm a total psycho," she thought to herself. She wasn't sure how she could walk out there and face him after the way she behaved. Hopefully he'll say his peace and be gone by the end of the day.

Jennifer showered and quickly dressed. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and ventured out to the kitchen.

"Wow, everything smells so good," she exclaimed looking at the food spread out on the table. "I see you started a fire too, it's my favorite part of Sam's house," Jennifer added looking out to the living room.

"Sit down … hope you're hungry," he said awkwardly.

"Look, Colonel, I'm truly sorry and really embarrassed for my behavior last night," Jennifer confessed determined not to cry. "I don't usually have an audience for my melt downs … as you can see they've taken on a life of their own lately."

The two awkwardly chatted about meaningless things through most of their breakfast, neither feeling very comfortable. Jennifer was mortified at breaking down in front of him and Sheppard didn't know how to begin his apology.

"How've you been feeling since you've been here?" Sheppard finally asked wanting to hear how she thought she was doing.

"Dr. Lam gave me my last check up a couple weeks ago. She's happy about everything except my weight but we both agreed it may take a bit longer to gain back what I lost," Jennifer explained. "I don't have as much energy as I used to but I think that's from not being able to sleep," she said expressing frustration. "I'm tired of talking about my problems. How are you doing, Colonel?"

'Why don't we take our coffee and sit by the fire? We can clean this up later," Sheppard suggested nervously. He may as well have his talk with her now than stretch it out any longer.

Jennifer agreed and sat on the floor in front of one of the chairs by the fireplace while Sheppard sat in the chair across from her. They sat facing each other in silence for several minutes while Sheppard tried to organize his thoughts. Jennifer could tell he was struggling with something but didn't know how to make it easier for him.

"Colonel, was there something specific you wanted to talk to me about?" Jennifer asked trying to get some conversation going. "Because I thought we cleared the air a long time ago back on Atlantis."

"Yes … no, I mean yes we did but I was wrong," Sheppard growled at himself. He stood up and began pacing trying to find the right words.

"Look … Doc, I'm not good with feelings. I failed miserably with my ex-wife and vowed never to go through that again. Then you came along and I didn't want to go down that road another time. I messed things up but before I could fix anything you were gone," John rambled as he sat down on the floor across from her and leaned against his chair.

"Stop saying you messed things up," Jennifer stated firmly willing herself not to cry. "I'm beginning to feel like a child you have to lecture over and over because they just don't get it. But I do get it … I got it the first time you told me you made a mistake. I totally understand that you don't want anything with me but if you still want to remain friends then you have to stop bringing it up over and over again. I know how you feel about me …," Jennifer explained slowly raising her voice while losing her battle with the tears.

"No you don't understand," he said cutting her off. "You don't know how I feel about you. I messed everything up for us and I need you to forgive me," John stammered. There, he'd said it and now he sat holding his breath waiting for her answer.

Jennifer looked at him dumbfounded. She wasn't sure what he meant but a small kernel of hope started to creep into her heart. "For us? Like you and me kind of 'us'? Because if it's the good friends kind of 'us' then there's nothing to forgive, we're okay. But if you mean the other kind of 'us',"Jennifer let her words trail off afraid to hope for anything more.

John took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair again trying to find the right words to express himself. "I mean traveling through two galaxies to say I'm sorry for being such a jack ass about the way I behaved. I'm sorry for everything I put you through and especially for pushing you away. I'm asking you to forgive me for hurting you and messing everything up between us. I'm asking you, Dr. Keller, for a second chance," he groveled uncomfortably.

Jennifer sat in front of him stunned at his confession. It took a few moments for all of it to sink in while he continued to stumble around with awkward words of apology. In the middle of his ranting she crawled to him and began covering his mouth with small kisses. "You talk too much," she whispered with tears streaming down her cheeks.

John placed his hands on her face and drew her in for a longer kiss. Reaching his hands around her waist he pulled her into his lap attacking her with passionate kisses till long after the fire burned out.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

_**A/N**__: Thank you so much to Vana1970 for your excellent beta skills! You've made me a better writer. And to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement … thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone on this one!_

_**A big thank you to all of you who are faithfully reading… I'm enjoying all the interest in the story and especially appreciate all the wonderful reviews! All of your input is extremely encouraging!**_

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Chapter 22

Jennifer couldn't believe what was happening. How could her life change so drastically and so quickly? She was afraid to let herself be happy for fear of having the rug pulled out from under her. She thought all these things as she lay in John's arms never wanting this moment to end.

"As much as I hate to say this, I have to leave for a little bit," Jennifer groaned. "I'm afraid when I get back this will all have been a dream."

"Well I hope not! Your dreams don't usually end very 'happily ever after-ish'," John chuckled sarcastically. "Come on, let's clean the kitchen then you can drop me at the SGC so I can check in with Carter."

"Works perfect, I'll run my errand then check on the Daedalus," she answered sealing the plan with one last kiss before heading to the kitchen.

"I'm afraid to ask this but… how long can you stay?" Jennifer tentatively asked as they started clearing the table.

"I don't plan on leaving your side for a while so get use to me," he answered pulling her in for a hug, spinning her around the kitchen.

* * *

Jennifer lingered in the meat department at the grocery store looking for inspiration. She'd only mastered a few recipes over the years and those were questionable at times. Deciding on steaks she began to fill her cart with the meat and fixings. She also grabbed some fresh shrimp to sauté knowing it would compliment it perfectly. Dessert … now she was really out of her element. "It took me years to master slice and bake cookies," she thought to herself. Wandering over to the bakery section she found a small cheesecake that looked perfect. All she needed was a bottle of wine to round out the meal.

* * *

Sheppard received the incoming data burst from Colonel Carter stating his request was approved on her end but he'd have to get Dr. Lam and Dr. Midland to sign off on it as well. She closed by saying she'd be happy to run interference with the doctors if he needed it.

John left Dr. Midland's office feeling like he'd just run a victory lap at the Olympics. He thought he'd have a harder time convincing the doctor to sign Jennifer's release for active duty papers but other than a few strict requirements he reluctantly agreed to her returning to Atlantis. Midland required that she keep her journal daily and email it to him with the weekly Atlantis data burst and that she return home on the Daedalus so she'd have ample time to prepare herself for the transition. John was feeling pretty good about his mission to bring Jennifer home with him. Now he just needed to convince Dr. Lam.

* * *

Jennifer checked with Walter and found the Daedalus was due in late tonight and they'd start beaming in personnel in the morning. That'd work out perfectly for her. She'd have John all to herself tonight then tomorrow she'd figure out what to do about Laura. Rounding the corner she ran into Daniel and almost knocked him over.

"Whoa … what's the hurry?" Daniel asked smiling. "You look ... all atwitter, today."

"Sorry, I guess I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going," she laughed.

"So, how'd your talk go?" he asked concerned.

"Actually … it sort of caught me off guard, but in a good way," she smiled sheepishly.

"I hope there was a lot of groveling involved," Daniel stated firmly not wanting Jennifer to get hurt again.

"Very much so," she said shyly. "I've never seen the Colonel quite so determined or sincere."

"It's good to see a bit of twinkle back in your eyes," Daniel said as he drew her in for a hug. "Are you free for a late lunch?"

"I'd love to but I'm here to pick up John. Can I have a rain check for next week?" she asked.

"Sounds good."

Jennifer walked into the infirmary just as John was leaving Dr. Lam's office. The two were laughing about something and shaking hands. Jennifer wondered what that was all about.

"Here you are," John said as Jennifer approached. "I was just pleading for a couple of days off for you," he explained smiling at Carolyn.

"Oh, I was just coming to talk with you about my schedule," Jen said looking at Dr. Lam.

"Not a problem, we're pretty quiet in here right now and the Daedalus only has a few personnel beaming in so we should be good. Enjoy your time off," Carolyn grinned.

"I'm through here are you ready to go?" John asked.

"Yep, all set." Jen smiled turning to leave.

As they entered the hallway John reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together she couldn't remember being happier.

* * *

Jennifer banished John to the living room with the remote control while she prepared dinner. She found some candles and holders in Sam's linen closet to complete the table setting.

Slipping into Sam's bedroom, Jen went through her closet and found a simple black evening dress and accessories to borrow for the night. Taking a deep breath she returned to the dining room and lit the candles then went to retrieve the Colonel.

Walking into the living room looking like a runway model completely took away his breath and ability to talk.

"Colonel, I believe I owe you a home cooked meal," Jennifer announced as she entered the room. "If you'd like to put the remote down and follow me, dinner is served."

John turned to face Jennifer, his breath caught at the sight of her. It took him a few moments to compose himself enough to answer her.

"You look beautiful and I'm … so underdressed," he frowned.

"You look just fine. Now hurry before the food gets cold.

Jennifer had prepared a feast fit for a king although she wasn't sure it lived up to the thousand-dollar price tag. They indulged themselves until they could eat no more and chose to eat dessert after they cleaned the kitchen and made coffee.

"Shoo, you're not going to help clean up," Jennifer scolded as they rose from the table. "Go find a football game to watch and I'll join you shortly."

"Not till I get an after dinner mint," he said grabbing her around the waist and pulling her into his arms. John held her close hesitating just a moment before he gently kissed her.

"I'm sure that wasn't part of the auction description," she said as she tried to pull away smirking.

"I'm pretty sure kissing the cook was part of the deal," he stated firmly nuzzling her neck.

"So you're saying if Sergeant Clark or Rodney McKay had won my dinner I'd be obligated to end the meal by making out with them?" she asked raising an eyebrow still standing in his embrace.

"Not if they wanted to live to talk about it," he growled. "That's why it was a thousand dollar dinner. I'm not willing to share you with anyone … and it was worth every penny," John declared pulling her in for a longer kiss.

Jennifer finally pulled back, reluctantly, and spun him around pushing him toward the living room.

"Go, I'll put on a pot of coffee and join you in a few minutes," Jen scolded playfully.

Jennifer finished cleaning the kitchen, set the dessert dishes out and put on a pot of coffee. Slipping back to her bedroom she changed into comfortable lounge clothes and took a moment to sit on the edge of the bed. It'd been a short night and a long day pushing her to the edge emotionally … in a good way. Falling back on the bed she rested for a few minutes pulling herself up just before sleep engulfed her.

"Are you ready for dessert?" Jennifer asked as she entered the living room.

"Come here," he called patting the couch at his side.

Jennifer walked over and sat on the couch next to him resting her head on his chest. Cuddling into his side she sighed heavily unable to believe any of this was real.

"Let's wait on dessert till dinner settles," John suggested. "Thank you, that was a fantastic meal," he said as he kissed her cheek.

He took a moment to look carefully at her face. Placing his hands on either side of her head he gently pulled her closer and began softly kissing all the scars on her face.

"I should have been there, I should have stopped him," he whispered.

"You couldn't have known. Besides, you're here now and that's all that matters to me," she sighed contentedly.

John got up off the couch announcing he was going to get their dessert and for her to put her feet up. When he returned with the coffee and cheesecake she was sound asleep stretched out on the couch. John smiled as he covered her with a throw off the back of the chair and resumed channel surfing as he finished his coffee.

A short while later he took the dishes to the kitchen and straightened everything up making sure the coffee pot was turned off. Walking back through the house he turned off all the lights and locked the doors. Leaving the table lamp on beside the couch, he picked up a sleeping Jennifer and moved to the bedroom placing her in bed beside him.

John smiled in the dark as he thought about the day. He was thankful she'd given him a second chance. It all could've turned out so badly. Looking down at her wrapped in his arms he kissed her lightly on the cheek determined to never sleep alone again if he could help it. John began to drift into sleep all the while thinking of the woman in his arms.

* * *

Lt. Cadman was tickled with herself having convinced Daedalus command that it couldn't hurt to let her beam into the SGC with some of the empty supply containers. She was looking forward to stretching out in a real bed with real coffee in the morning.

Arriving at Colonel Carter's house, Laura rummaged under the bushes at the back door looking for the hidden key holder. Jennifer had pointed it out to her just before she left for the Pegasus. Opening the back door she quietly moved into the kitchen and set her duffle bag down. Laura tiptoed through the house and peeked into the guest room to be sure it was unoccupied. Cracking the door a few inches she could see a duffle bag and a pile of clothes on the floor. She quickly shut the door assuming Jennifer had a guest for the night. No problem, she thought, I'll just crash on the couch.

Laura collected a couple scatter pillows and grabbed the throw blanket settling herself on the couch. It'd been a long day and the Lt. was extremely tired. Moments later she was sound asleep.

* * *

John could feel Jennifer start to stir as she lay splayed across his chest.

"Good morning sunshine," John said softly and he brushed her hair off her face.

"Morning already?" she questioned yawning. "Did I have another bad dream?" Jennifer asked confused.

"No, just a little experiment in nightmare control," John said smirking. "Actually, I just wanted you close but you did sleep through the night," he pointed out.

"I must admit I feel more rested than I have in a long time," she said kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you." Jennifer turned to get out of bed when John pulled her back.

"Not yet, I just want to hold you for a bit longer," he insisted as he nuzzled her neck.

"Again, I hate to spoil this but you never said how long can you stay?" she sighed afraid of his answer.

"How long do you want me to stay?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows.

"How about till I get released," she teased wishing it were possible.

John rolled Jennifer over onto her back and leaned over her as he gave her his answer.

"I'm scheduled to return on the Daedalus in four days," he said kissing her softly. "But I don't want to leave here without you so you're coming with me … I'm taking you home Jennifer," he whispered softly

"Oh, John, seriously … seriously, I get to go home?" Jennifer asked, her breath catching as she searched his face.

"I wouldn't joke about something like this," he assured her leaning down to kiss her tears away.

The two embraced in celebration, each kiss becoming more intense than the previous as they began to spiral out of control. Jennifer wanted to spend the rest of her life right here wrapped in this man's arms, lost in his touch.

They continued to search and explore enjoying their deepening connection when the sound of Sheppard's pager filled the room with its urgency. It took a few moments for the pair to realize that a new sound had been added to their own sounds of pleasure.

Groaning loudly, John rolled toward the bedside table and hissed as he grabbed the insistent device. Checking the display, he flopped back on the bed and growled clutching the pager to his chest.

Jennifer rolled onto her side and kissed him lightly, "Hurry, I'll keep the bed warm."

"It's Landry, this can't be good," he grumbled clearly upset.

John pulled himself out of bed, crossing the room he grabbed his cell phone and sat on the foot of the bed as he dialed the mountain.

Jennifer heard a lot of _yes sir_ and _I understand_ and her heart began to sink knowing this could change her world in a matter of seconds.

John finished his phone call and hung his head as he closed the phone dropping it to the floor. He took a moment to sigh heavily and run his hands through his hair before turning and crawling back on the bed hungrily taking her mouth, pouring all his emotions into his kiss.

She knew something was wrong. His kiss left her breathless and wanting more but his hesitation spoke volumes. "What's wrong," she asked when they came up for breath.

John rolled onto his back and pulled her to his chest. "I'm needed in Atlantis, I need to gate back," he grumbled holding her tight as he rubbed her back.

"When," she groaned. She couldn't remember when she'd been so disappointed or sexually frustrated for that matter.

"Now," he whispered. He was so aggravated and angry at the situation but tried not to let that rob them of the last few minutes they had together. John held on to her for a few more moments before he slid out of bed to get ready.

Jennifer laid in bed watching him collect his things. He retrieved his duffle and clothes from the guest room and spent a few minutes in the bathroom before emerging dressed and ready to go.

She got out of bed looking for something presentable to wear to the base when John stopped her.

"No, I don't want you coming with me. This is hard enough, I don't want you watching me walk through the gate," John said firmly as he reached for her. "I'm sorry, this isn't how I planned things," he sighed pulling her close, running his hands through her hair. He leaned down wiping away her tears before gently taking her mouth with his, expressing everything he was feeling.

"Can I make you a quick breakfast?" she offered hoping to delay the inevitable.

"I'll grab something when I get back to Atlantis," he said as he ran his hands over her body burning the moment into his brain.

"You can take Sam's truck and I'll get it later, leave the keys with Daniel," she offered holding his face in her hands wanting one last long look into his eyes.

"Come on," John said pulling her toward the bedroom door.

They walked out of the bedroom arm in arm heading toward the front door. As he entered the living room John caught sight of Laura sprawled on the couch half covered and half dressed. "Good morning, Lieutenant, you might want to cover that up," he stated firmly, grinning mischievously."

Laura snapped her head up immediately at the sound of her commanding officer's voice. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir," she snapped fumbling with the blanket. To say she was shocked was an understatement. She peaked over the arm of the couch watching the tender scene at the front door unfold.

"Come here," he said pulling Jennifer into his arms and wiping away a stray tear sliding down her cheek. "It'll only be a few weeks and then we'll be back together."

"I know … don't forget about me," Jen whispered feeling very unsure of herself.

"Not gonna happen," he said pulling her closer. " You're mine, you're all I think about."

John opened the door and grabbed his duffle as he leaned down giving Jennifer one last toe curling kiss.

"Lieutenant, be sure you bring her home, that's an order," he barked as her turned to leave.

"Yes Sir," Laura called after him. "I'll look after her."

Jennifer shut the door and collapsed on the couch beside her best friend sobbing. She could feel Laura put her arms around her but all she could think about was John and how much she missed him already.

So much had happened in the last hour. The man she loved had claimed her as his own then in the blink of an eye he'd left her to return home. She didn't know whether to shed tears of sorrow at his leaving or tears of joy for his declaration and then there was the fact that she was going home in four days, which required tears or shouts or something. She felt emotionally drained and the day had just begun.

"Okay, I need details. Lots and lots of details," Laura said handing Jen a box of Kleenex.

* * *

John found Daniel in his lab and entered. "Morning Jackson," John greeted as he wandered in.

"John … I heard you got recalled," Daniel said looking up.

"I left Sam's truck in the parking lot. Could you give Jen the keys when she shows up?" he asked handing them over.

"Didn't she drive you?" Daniel asked surprised.

"She's pretty emotional right now and doesn't need to watch me leave," John explained. "Daniel, I wanted to ask a favor. If anything should happen to me, ever, I'd like you to see that she comes back to Earth."

"I'll take care of her," Daniel promised. "Let's hope it won't be necessary."

The men shook hands as John turned to leave.

* * *

Jennifer sat on the couch and talked to Laura for a long time before they separated to clean up for the day. Laura decided they should go out for breakfast and then start making plans for their trip home.

Jennifer shared lots of things with Laura but tended to hold back on the details of her relationship with John. It was just too soon to be discussing any details and she wanted to keep it all as private as possible swearing Laura to secrecy. There'd be plenty of time when she got back home to endure all the gossip and stares but for now she wanted to keep it perfect.


	23. Chapter 23

_**AN:**__ Here is the last chapter to my story. I'm extremely grateful to all of you who read and reviewed. … all your remarks were very encouraging! _

_A Huge thank you goes out to Vana1970 for your awesome beta skills. Thanks for all your support and kind words. _

_To bailey1ak, thanks for all your help and advice and proving me wrong every time I said I could never do it. You were right … it's been a lot of fun!_

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Chapter 23

Jennifer and Laura spent the next few days getting ready for their trip home. They went shopping so Jen could find a few things she wanted to take with her to Atlantis for her friends. She especially wanted to find a gift for Sam for her hospitality; it would have been harder on her if she'd had to stay at the SGC during her time on Earth.

It was hard to say good-bye to all her SGC friends but Vala organized an impromptu good-bye party in the mess hall and everyone showed up to give her a hug and wish her well. Dr. Lam reminded her that she would always have a place at Cheyenne Mountain and Daniel even gave his overwhelming approval of John, which touched her and brought on the first tears of the evening.

In no time at all the women were beamed onboard the Daedalus and settling in for their long journey to the Pegasus galaxy.

* * *

Jennifer relaxed once they were on board thankful she was able to bunk with Laura. She established a routine writing in her journal everyday and going for long walks around the ship. Her sleeping patterns unfortunately reverted back to the days before she slept in John's arms proving his theory that nightmares were a product of sleeping alone. Having Laura with her helped immensely but during the nights Laura was on duty Jennifer would visit the mess hall when the dreams got bad.

In her second week of the trip Jennifer woke with a start gulping for air as a Wraith was sucking the life out of her again. Knowing she wouldn't get back to sleep she wandered down to the mess hall to make a cup of hot tea. She was one of a handful of people sitting at different tables around the room when Major Collins walked it.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I join you?" Collins asked looking down at Jennifer.

"Sure Major, pull up a chair," Jennifer invited smiling.

"I'm Adam Collins," he said holding out his hand.

"Nice to meet you Major, I'm Jennifer," she said shaking his hand.

"So, is this your first trip to Atlantis? If you'll forgive me for saying so, you look too young to be part of the expedition," Adam said as he stirred his coffee.

"Thank you, I think," Jennifer chuckled. "Actually, I've been a part of the expedition for several years now. I work in the infirmary," she explained. "I've been at the SGC for the past couple of months recuperating and working in their infirmary," she explained knowing he'd have all the details before they left the Milky Way. The rumor mill on the Daedalus was even faster than the one on Atlantis.

"Were you the one who was shot?" Adam asked trying not to sound nosey.

"That'd be me," she smiled. "So Major, are you on duty or just slumming?"

"Can't sleep, still getting used to space travel," he explained. "What about you?"

"Nightmares … I find lighted places help. My bunkmate is on duty tonight so I'm hoping this cup of tea settles my nerves," Jennifer shared.

"So, the nightmares, are they all part of the experience?" Collins asked.

"Pretty much with old-timers. The longer you're part of the expedition the more experiences you have to draw from. Some of those experiences will keep you up at night," she said smirking.

Laura entered the mess hall looking for Jennifer spotting her sitting with the Major.

"Major, sir," Laura acknowledged as she approached the table.

"Lieutenant," Adam nodded.

"Thought I'd find you here. Wraith or dogs?" Laura asked smiling at Jen.

"Wraith, the Major here was keeping me company." Jen explained.

"Sir, is this your first tour in the Pegasus?" Laura asked.

"Actually it is, how about you Lieutenant?"

"I'm currently stationed on the Daedalus but I work with the Atlantis teams as well under Colonel Sheppard's command. Been doing this for quite a while now." Laura explained.

"So is there much rivalry on base?" Adam inquired.

"You'll find military protocols are a bit relaxed on base. We're all a tight knit group regardless of which branch you serve under, sir," Laura described as best she could.

"We've heard lots of stories and sat through various training sessions while getting ready for this assignment. I must admit, I've been looking forward to it more than any other assignment out there," Collins admitted grinning. "We heard a lot of guys at the SGC talking about one of your instructors, Ronon Dex, … have either of you met him?"

"It's a very small community so yes, we know Ronon. He's a very honorable man and part of SGA-1," Jennifer smiled describing her friend.

"I imagine working in the infirmary you get to see most everyone who lives in Atlantis at one time or another," Collins said thoughtfully.

"Work in the infirmary?" Laura said raising her eyebrows as she looked at Jennifer. It seemed like such an understatement considering she ran the place.

"Well, I do," she answered shrugging her shoulders.

"Major, if you'll excuse us, I should get our little infirmary worker back to bed. I've been ordered to look after her and I take my orders seriously," Laura smirked as she stood pulling Jennifer to her feet.

"It was good to meet you, Major. I'm sure we'll run into you again before we get to Atlantis. Hope you enjoy the rest of your trip," Jen smiled as they walked toward the exit.

* * *

Jennifer visited quite often with Major Collins and two of his friends especially when Laura was on duty. It helped pass the time and kept her from stressing unnecessarily. If left alone, Jennifer tended to start doubting her situation. "What if John's changed his mind? What if he's come to his senses and doesn't want a relationship with me?" she kept asking herself. She didn't think she could live through his rejection again. The time apart was becoming unbearable for her.

Laura did the best she could to keep Jen's spirits up. Several nights a week the girls played poker with Major Collins and his friends. Dr. Novak even joined them a couple of times when her schedule allowed.

During their last week of the trip Jennifer was visiting late at night with Adam and his friend when those awkward personal questions were finally asked.

"So Jennifer, are you seeing anyone back on Atlantis?" Collins finally worked up the courage to ask?

"I'm flattered Major but yes, I'm sort of involved with someone," she bumbled feeling like she was back in high school. This was all new to her and she didn't know how to explain that she had a boyfriend. At least she hoped she still had a boyfriend by the time she got home.

"You don't sound too sure. Maybe I'll check again once we get to Atlantis," he teased winking.

"Thanks, but I really am interested in someone else," she explained getting rather flustered.

Just then Adam's friend piped in and asked about Laura and her dating status. Jennifer explained that it'd be best to look elsewhere. Jen was pretty sure Evan wouldn't like her dating anyone. But then again, maybe that'd be the push Lorne needed to do something about their situation. After all, the IOA had finally loosened the fraternization regulations concerning military personnel on Atlantis and the two of them were crazy about each other even if they didn't want to admit it.

The last few days of the trip were the hardest triggering a killer nightmare for Jennifer but Laura was there to help her through it. She was beginning to think that stress contributed a lot to her bad dreams and not just exhaustion.

Finally, early one morning during breakfast they announced over the intercom that they'd just exited hyperspace and were in orbit above Atlantis. All personnel were encouraged to get their belongings together and they'd be docking soon. Laura entered the mess hall to collect Jennifer just as she finished breakfast.

"Hey missy, Colonel Caldwell invited us to come view Atlantis from the bridge if you're done. Major Collins would you like to join us?" Laura asked as they deposited their trays in the bin.

"I would love to, Lieutenant," he said jumping at the chance to see the City.

The three stood looking at Atlantis rising proudly from the surrounding ocean. The sight never got old. Jennifer stood engulfed in emotions as the tears flowed.

"You're home, Jennifer," Laura whispered squeezing her hand.

"Thank you Laura for everything," Jen said gratefully.

"Major, I know new recruits are scheduled to beam down in groups but I got approval for you to beam down now if you'd like to go ashore with us," Lt. Cadman offered. "It'd give you a chance to wander around before your orientation. I'll be delivering Jennifer as soon as we dock," Laura explained.

"I would really appreciate that, Lieutenant," Collins answered excitedly, he couldn't wait. He also couldn't help but wonder about the special handling Jennifer was receiving. He wondered if this was normal.

After beaming in, Adam stood back and watched the reunion unfold before him.

Jennifer looked around at her beautiful city as Evan advanced enveloping her in a big bear hug. "Hey Doc I've missed you," he grinned swinging her around.

Adam wondered if Doc was a pet name or if she really was a doctor. He never actually asked her what she did in the infirmary but after careful consideration he decided that it was probably a pet name since she didn't look old enough to be a seasoned doctor.

Colonel Carter joined the festivities on the gate room floor.

"Welcome home, Jennifer," Sam said as she hugged her friend.

"Thank you Sam for all your help getting me home," Jen whispered wiping away a lone tear that found it's way down her cheek.

Lorne was so caught up in the moment that he let his guard down long enough to give Lt. Cadman a hug whispering in her ear how much he missed her. Laura acknowledged his sentiment with a blush, which was very unmilitary like in appearance.

Adam realized two things as he watched the welcome unfold. First of all, the Lieutenant was definitely off limits, which he planned on passing on to his friend and the military protocol was a lot more relaxed than he expected. He knew he was going to like his new posting.

Colonel Carter informed Jennifer she wasn't on the work schedule until later in the week and suggested she take some time to settle in. They only had one team off world right now so the staff should be able to handle the load in the infirmary without her.

"I might help out with new recruit physicals for a while. Which team is off world?" she asked anxious to know where Colonel Sheppard was.

"Colonel Sheppard's team, I'm sure your staff would appreciate the help with Ronon when they return. I think they should be back later tonight. But Jennifer, be sure you don't wear yourself out," Sam instructed firmly.

"I promise," she agreed. "It's just good to be home."

Jennifer introduced Major Collins to Major Lorne and Colonel Carter who turned him loose to explore the immediate areas around the central tower. Jennifer noted he looked like a kid in a candy store as he headed off toward the mess hall.

* * *

Colonel Sheppard had been having trouble focusing his mind all day. He'd decided to keep his relationship with Jennifer to himself not wanting to talk about it with anyone. It still felt too private, too new and he didn't want to jinx it or share it with anyone until she arrived. Jennifer would be in the City by the time he and his team gated home, John smiled at the thought of the plans he had for her first night home.

His team knew something was up, but they'd never have guessed he was a bundle of nerves waiting for his girlfriend to arrive. He couldn't stop thinking about her, couldn't stop hoping Laura was taking good care of her. This was the last time she'd be away from him for so long if he had any say in the matter.

* * *

SGA-1 returned through the Stargate at 1900 hours. Their mission had been an easy one, dropping off supplies to a new trading partner. After transporting the boxes and crates to the village square the team offered their help to the locals who were raising the walls on a new meeting structure. They walked back through the gate very tired and hungry but agreeing it'd been a good day.

"Welcome home," Colonel Carter greeted walking across the gate room floor. "I trust you're looking forward to a hot meal. We'll meet at 0900 hours tomorrow morning for your debriefing … get to the infirmary for your check-ups and I'll have the mess hall keep some food warm for you."

"Thanks Colonel, appreciate that," Sheppard answered as everyone headed toward the infirmary. "Has the Daedalus arrived?" John asked.

"They docked earlier today, we're already processing new recruits so the infirmary may be a bit crowded," Carter answered.

* * *

Dr. Keller was working in the back corner of the infirmary helping with the new recruit physicals. She wanted to be close by when SGA-1 returned from their mission. To say she had butterflies was an understatement. She knew she'd do better keeping busy than stewing in her quarters about what the future held.

"Well boys, how'd I get so lucky drawing your names?" Doc asked as her Daedalus buddies approached.

"Hey Jen, I told you we'd meet again." Major Collins grinned.

"Okay, Major, you can take this bed," Jennifer instructed. She settled the other two recruits on the adjacent beds before starting the physicals.

"Well, I guess you are old enough to be a doctor! Looks like I owe you an apology," Collins said sheepishly. "So Doc, how about showing us your mess hall when we're done here?" he asked taking his shirt off.

"Major, I thought we went over this already?" Jennifer replied chuckling.

"Sure, Doc but I sort of asked around when we got here and people seem to think you aren't dating anyone at the moment," he answered raising an eyebrow.

"At ease, flyboy, I don't tend to advertise my personal life. But trust me, I'm not available," Jennifer assured smirking. "At least I don't think so," she mumbled under her breath as she reached for her stethoscope.

Jennifer turned toward the front of the infirmary as she heard _the_ team enter. Her butterflies intensified watching Colonel Sheppard walk across the floor and take a bed at Dr. Cole's station. She kept her eyes focused on him until he spotted her. Lost in her own thoughts, she held his gaze for a few moments before turning back to her patient.

"You okay, Doc," Major Collins ask. "You seem distracted.

"Sorry, I was just um … sort of have something on my mind," she stuttered totally embarrassed.

"Dr. Burns, would you please relieve Dr. Keller and ask her to take care of Mr. Dex?" Dr. Cole asked as she situated the team on different beds preparing to check in Colonel Sheppard.

"Happy to," Dr. Burns answered as he walked across the infirmary floor. Burns chuckled to himself hearing Ronon growl at the nurse who was trying to check his vitals. He'd much rather deal with new recruits any day than interact with their resident warrior, he thought.

"Dr. Keller, would you mind giving Ronon his return physical?" Burns asked approaching her workstation. "I'd be happy to check in your new recruits," he added.

"Sure … sorry boys, duty calls," Jennifer said addressing the recruits. "Dr. Burns will take good care of you."

As she left to cross the room she could hear Major Collins and his friends talking about the stories they'd heard concerning the infamous Ronon Dex.

"Hey Ronon." Jennifer greeted her friend as she approached.

Ronon met her pulling her in for a big hug.

"Hey Doc," Ronon returned. "Welcome home, you've been missed," he grinned mischievously.

"Missed you guys too," she said looking genuinely happy.

"How was your trip?" he asked sitting back down on the bed.

"Very long and not one I want to make again anytime soon," she said rolling her eyes.

The two exchanged small talk as she completed his checkup. "Well, you're fit as a fiddle," Jennifer announced. "You're free to go get yourself something to eat," she smiled.

"Are you done for the day?" Ronon asked.

"Actually, I'm not even on schedule today but thought I'd help out with the new recruits," Jennifer explained.

"Good, you can come eat with us," Ronon stated directing her toward the door.

Dr. Cole finished with Colonel Sheppard pronouncing him 'good to go' as she moved aside, giving him room to slide to the floor.

"Ah … Doctor, do you think you could ask Dr. Keller to … ah …. take a look at my throat? It's been acting up a bit lately," Sheppard asked with a boyish smirk.

"Would you like me to take a look?" Dr. Cole asked.

"Well, ah … I know you're pretty busy right now so I'll just let her take a look if you don't mind," Sheppard replied feeling very uncomfortable.

"Sure, let me grab her before she leaves with the rest of your team," Dr. Cole answered. She loved seeing him squirm and wondered what was going on.

"Dr. Keller, would you have a minute to take a look at Colonel Sheppard's throat for me?" Cole asked as she approached the group.

"… um, sure," Doc said trying her best not to blush in front of her colleague. "I'll just be a minute," Jennifer said turning to Ronon, Teyla and Rodney. "You guys can go on and I'll meet you in the mess hall."

"No problem, Doc, we'll wait," Ronon answered leaning against the doorframe.

Ronon watched Doc walk over to Sheppard who was still sitting sideways on the bed. "What's that about?" Ronon wondered aloud.

"Do you think that Colonel Sheppard is feeling unwell?" Teyla asked.

"Seemed fine to me," McKay announced growing impatient waiting.

Jennifer slowly walked over standing in front of John trying to keep her hands from trembling. Moment of truth she thought to herself.

"Colonel," Jennifer addressed, "are you feeling ill?"

"Hey Doc, I just haven't been feeling myself the past three weeks," he answered not taking his eyes off her. She was a sight for sore eyes, he thought.

"Well, let me take a look," she said trying to sound professional as she pulled her stethoscope from around her neck. Two can play this game, she decided.

Jennifer began running John through a series of routine tests using an unusually gentle touch. She started by checking his lungs and heartbeat. "Colonel, I'll ask you to scoot sideways and face the wall. I'm having a hard time hearing through your clothes so I'll just run this under your shirt if you don't mind," Jennifer whispered in his ear as she reached around to run the chest piece of her stethoscope up his back letting her fingers gently trail along the skin on either side. She purposely leaned closer letting her warm breath tickle the back of his neck.

John was determined not to let Jennifer get the better of him. He gritted his teeth wondering if this little game he started was a good idea.

"How was your trip?" he asked concerned.

"I spent a lot of time in their mess hall … having a hard time sleeping alone anymore," she confessed smiling.

"I have a remedy for that I'll share with you later," he offered smirking.

"I'm certainly open for suggestions," she fired back. "Colonel, please take a few deep breaths and let me listen to your lungs," she whispered letting the warmth of her breath run along his jaw line. Her back was to the group waiting for her at the door, partially blocking their view. She hoped no one was wise to the game they were playing. "Maybe I should check your heartbeat next."

"I think my heart is doing okay, Doc, it picked up the pace once we got back here to the infirmary. I think it sensed your presence," John said with a slow grin knowing his remarks would cause her to blush. Sure enough, he was rewarded with a slow reddening, which continued to deepen as he held her attention.

"Did you have any bad nightmares on the Daedalus?" he asked frustrated that he'd sent her home alone.

"Just one bad one but Laura was there … we bunked together," she answered hoping to put his worries at ease. "Let me check your throat and lymph nodes," Jen said softly. Time to turn up the heat, she thought. She wasn't about to lose this battle of the wills. Jennifer moved to stand in front of him leaning just inches from his face.

The two of them continued this sensual dance oblivious to the audience they had across the room. Dr. Burns and the recruits looked on curious about their odd behavior.

"Is it possible to have Dr. Keller finish my exam?" Major Collins asked laughing.

Jennifer reached in gently holding Sheppard's face with her hands on either side of his jaw line. The sensations she was causing with her delicate touch were driving him up the wall.

"Doc, you seem to have a fan club over there," Sheppard frowned nodding behind her.

Jennifer turned around and smiled at the recruits. "We met on the Daedalus. They're my back up in case we don't work out," Jennifer explained raising her eyebrow.

"I hope you told them you were spoken for," Sheppard warned sternly.

"I may have mentioned I was interested in someone else but they don't seem to believe me," Jennifer said shrugging her shoulders.

Jennifer returned to her examination. She slowly moved her fingers along Sheppard's jaw line checking his lymph nodes. "Colonel, nothing seems out of the ordinary," Jennifer said as she slowly ran her hands down the sides of his neck resting them on his collarbone.

"What's Doc doing?" Ronon asked smirking.

"How come I never get checked over like that?" Rodney complained.

"It does seem a bit unusual," Teyla added.

"Colonel, let me check your pulse," Jennifer suggested. She slowly trailed her fingers down this arm and lightly ran small circles around his wrist checking for his pulse. "How does that feel?" Jennifer asked seductively.

"Woman, you're going to be the death of me," Sheppard growled as he reached out grabbing her wrists.

"Does this mean you surrender?" Jennifer giggled trying to retreat from his grasp.

In one swift move, Sheppard slid off the bed quickly invading her personal space. He reached up taking her face in his hands kissing her deeply … making up for three long weeks of separation.

Jennifer leaned in lost in the kiss, gripping his shoulders to keep from sliding to the floor. As they broke the kiss the two stood with their foreheads touching.

"Hey Jen," John whispered.

"Hey John … I missed you," Jennifer softly answered reaching up to touch his face.

"Missed you too," he added. John leaned down gently kissing her once more putting his arms around her and pulling her close.

Jennifer wound her arms around him feeling at home in his embrace.

Major Collins raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well boys, looks like the good doctor is indeed interested in someone else," he laughed. "If I'm not mistaken, that would be our new commanding officer."

John held her in his arms completely at peace. "I guess we'd better join the team, we may have a bit of explaining to do," John chuckled.

"You think?" Jennifer laughed rolling her eyes.

"I'll share you during dinner but then you're all mine for the rest of the night," he whispered wiggling his eyebrows.

As they turned to join the team, John leaned down and sweetly kissed her on the cheek. "Welcome home, Jennifer," he whispered.

Jennifer wrapped her arm around his waist as they headed toward the door. "You are my home," she said feeling completely content.

The End


End file.
